[Football] The Dog Emperor

The author’s collection includes the completed stories Football: The Old Godfather Is My Dad, Football: At Bayern, You Can Even Play Football, and F1: Don’t Fall for Someone Older.

Also in the works: Football: The Crown Prince’s Eastern Palace Is Empty, Great Ming: Do the Scions of Officials Have to Hustle Too?, and Football: I’m a Cheat, Thanks for the Favorites! Muah!

Felix was plagued every day by the question of how he could stay at Milan, because his talent was inversely proportional to his physical fitness...

Passing a pet shop, Felix casually complimented one of the animals. The enthusiastic owner had the pet supplies packed up in just thirty seconds and shoved a delicious little puppy into his arms.

A few months later, the dog was running the household, and Felix had reached the point of wanting to jump off a building while holding it. But just then, he realized that something about his life seemed to have changed.

Maldini’s expectations for Felix had gone from hoping he would carry Milan’s torch to simply being glad if the kid could sit still for a while.

Felix, stop sneaking Inzaghi’s baby biscuits all day, and quit fighting Nesta for pig’s head meat!

Felix, can you and that little rascal Kaka stop hanging out together? And Andrea, please don’t teach him boxing!

Felix, stop sticking with Buffon all day and rating everyone in football, young and old, on their looks!

Felix, get your mouth off my ice cream!

Milan’s standard-bearer was having a daily crisis of faith.

Berlusconi and Galliani, on the other hand, were pretty happy. Felix was handsome, played well, and made money. He kept the whole locker room so busy tearing their hair out that nobody had time to give him grief.

But what you can’t escape, you can’t escape.

When financial trouble hit the club and Berlusconi had no choice but to put selling players on the agenda, Felix kicked open the door to his office.

“Old man, you dirty dog! Are you trying to sell me?!”

P.S.

1. The author isn’t a Milan fan, but those old Milan faces are just too captivating. I’m forever lamenting how modern football has lost all its gorgeous stars!

2. For the reasons above, I don’t know Milan all that well. Some details are made up, so please point out any obvious mistakes.

3. A slice-of-life story.

4. Everyone involved in the romance is, at heart, a football guy. They’ve all had pretty eventful love lives in the past.

5. Milan is one big family, and so is Serie A.

6. I changed the title. The original was Football: Milan’s Puppy Patrol Saves the Day!

7. I’ll add more if I think of anything.

Theme: You shouldn’t have to put up with being wronged.