The Great Daddy-Off: If You're a Dad, Come On In

[Complete. Bonus chapters will be updated from time to time.]

Five-year-old Nakahara Chirei transmigrated and immediately came face-to-face with a terrifying curse.

System: [You are now bound to the "Daddy, Please!" System. When you run into trouble, summon your dad to slash an enemy for you! Defeat the King of Curses and you can go home!]

Nakahara Chirei's dad was an ordinary salaryman, overworked and unlucky, working overtime every day.

His other father, so he was told, had gone to paradise long ago, and the grass on his grave was already three meters tall.

A hard-working dad, a dead father, a young child, a broken home.

Haha. It's over.

At the critical moment

His salaryman father made a grand entrance and punched a special-grade curse to pieces, scattering dust and stones everywhere. It took 0.01 seconds.

The hem of his black coat swept through the air as he turned and walked away.

Nakahara Chirei was stunned.

The jujutsu sorcerers who rushed over to save the day were stunned too, seeing the child sitting there in a daze and the remains of a special-grade curse scattered across the ground.

The jujutsu sorcerers: This child has such incredible talent. He's terrifying!

Nakahara Chirei: I don't really understand what happened either, but that was actually my dad...

The jujutsu sorcerers: And so humble, too!

Nakahara Chirei: ...

-

While being chased again, Nakahara Chirei accidentally summoned the other father he'd never met.

The boss of an evil organization, a powerbroker in the underworld.

A terrifying man, or so the rumors said, with a mind so sharp he seemed almost supernatural, and a gift for manipulating people as effortless as breathing.

The two faced a special-grade curse on the level of a natural disaster.

He'll definitely have a way to deal with it, right? Nakahara Chirei looked at him hopefully.

Then his cheap dad, dressed in a black coat and red scarf, smiled and slowly lay down without putting up a fight.

Dazai: "Dying a different way sounds pretty novel. Let's do that, then."

Nakahara Chirei: ???!

This dad had actually managed to get himself killed!

-

Nakahara Chirei's two dads were mortal enemies, and when summoned, their styles couldn't be more different.

Chuuya: Don't panic. Your dad's here!

Dazai: Don't panic. Your dad's dead!

Whenever they appeared together, they were sure to start insulting each other and throwing punches.

But when facing a formidable foe, they had an uncanny knack for working together and killing it in one blow.

This pair of rival partners, whenever they joined forces, became the strongest ability-user duo in the underworld: the Port Mafia's "Double Black."

No dangerous situation could truly hold them back, except

Dazai: "Wait, say that again. Who are your parents?"

Nakahara Chirei blinked. "You and Chuuya."

Dazai: ...

Silence fell over the Port Mafia bridge that night.

-

A long time later, a legend spread through the jujutsu world.

The famous child prodigy Nakahara Chirei, the toughest player on the server, with a verifiable record of victories and a debut at his peak.

From grade-four curses to special-grade curses to the King of Curses, he fought through a trail of sparks and lightning. He cried and got tired, but never lost.

Question: What's your secret to clearing the game?

Answer: If you can't win, call your dad.

#They all laugh at you, but your dad is the strongest of them all#

-

*A fun, ridiculous comedy. You can understand it without having read the original (Jujutsu Kaisen).

*The character cards for Dazai and Chuuya came from Xiao Jiu (@Xiao Jiu Doesn't Want to Work Overtime). Grateful, amazing!

*CP: Dazai x Chuuya, my take on Dazai and Chuuya. If it's not sweet, you don't pay. This story is focused on them, so please don't bring up other pairings or switch the pairing around. [[Dazai and Chuuya are not tied to any other pairings! This is exclusively about them, with no other pairings bundled in! If you like other pairings, go to your own cafeteria. Don't come looking for food in a Dazai/Chuuya story. We only serve Dazai and Chuuya here, thank you!!!]]

*This story is a lighthearted family adventure comedy in the style of Spy x Family, giving equal weight to the parents' romance and raising their child. The protagonist, little Nakahara Chirei, remains five years old from chapters 1–264. There is no romance involving him, only family and friendship. In the main story and bonus chapters from chapters 1–264, the only romantic storyline is [[Dazai and Chuuya, and no one else]]!!

Don't expect a romance storyline for the protagonist before chapter 265. There really isn't one. It's all [Dazai and Chuuya]. Chapters 265–277 cover little Chirei growing up and his romance. His pairing is with Megumi, so please decide whether to buy according to your preferences.

Theme: Rise above all that would drag you down and declare war on fate.