Who Says You Can't Become a Detective Just Because You Play Football?

Tang Weian Garcia was an unlucky kid born with a permanent case of bad luck. Whenever he went to the supermarket for a cup of instant noodles, the noodles were always crushed. Whenever he queued up for a cupcake, his favorite flavor was always sold out by the time he reached the counter. There were burglaries near his rental place every few days, so he became as familiar with giving statements at the military police station as he was with Milanello’s training grounds... The team’s new striker from the snowy north saw Garcia diligently polishing his shoes in the locker room every day and wondered if the guy had a cleaning obsession. He only learned later that Garcia was simply so unlucky he stepped in dog shit every time he went out. Garcia’s bad luck followed him onto the pitch, too. He had a phenomenal feel for the ball. He could dribble, break through defenses, and shield the ball, moving with the fluid grace of a dancer. He was brilliant at everything, except... he couldn’t score during matches. Garcia himself didn’t mind much. Football was all about having fun, right? Setting up a teammate to score was great, too! And it wasn’t as if he never scored at all. Special thanks to the opposing team’s goalposts, the opposing players’ thighs, and his own teammates’ butts (One Apennine Rose: ?) As long as there’s life, there’s exercise. And bad luck will never stop coming to find you, either. But luck has to balance out in the end. Somehow, this guy’s luck actually started getting better (Really?) He went to Bar 345 to clear his head and stumbled upon a corpse-disposal scene! A promising player from the club’s youth academy stepped up to help... After a match, Milan players went out to eat with Lazio’s team and accidentally blundered into a Mafia deal in radioactive uranium! Watch as a football-playing secret agent (?) escapes Rome with nuclear weapons in a deadly game of survival. On vacation in an East Asian superpower, he gets caught up in a series of murders and makes a daring rescue, saving two police officers from certain death! Years later, a newly promoted police superintendent in Milan said during a public address, “I owe my position today in part to a friend of mine. His intuition is as sharp as Detective Columbo’s, and it has been the key to solving many of our cases...” A reporter asked, “Is the friend you mentioned a colleague, a fellow officer, or perhaps a mentor?” The new superintendent replied, “No, he’s a football player.” 【Cover artist: Yi Ya 1121 (MHS)】 ★You can enjoy this even if you don’t know football! The author started learning from scratch before beginning this novel, too. Notes on the technical details are included in the author’s notes! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 【Bonus Scene: The Famous Night in Istanbul】 The 2005 UEFA Champions League Final. Just 52 seconds after kickoff, Milan’s captain scored, setting a new record for the fastest goal in a Champions League final and giving Milan a dream start. By halftime, AC Milan were heading into the break with a commanding 3–0 lead. The Milan players went into the locker room for a break and some adjustments, all so excited they were practically losing their minds. The Big Ears trophy was just within reach, beckoning them. Only one player seemed out of place. Garcia sat in the corner, frowning and bouncing his leg. In stark contrast to his teammates, who were already cheering, he looked tense and anxious. Shevchenko squeezed in beside him and nudged his arm. “What’s wrong?” Garcia replied gravely, “I haven’t stepped in dog shit once all day...” Shevchenko tried to reassure him. “Uh, maybe you’ll step in some on the way home after the match?” Garcia added, “I just changed my clothes and somehow found five million old Turkish lira wedged in my locker.” Shevchenko let out a long hiss. “That’s impossible! You don’t have that kind of luck!” Garcia held up the banknote for his teammates, his face dark. “Exactly. That’s why my sixth sense tells me I’m about to have the worst luck ever.” When halftime ended, the Milan players emerged from the tunnel with grave expressions, as if they were the ones who’d gone into the break trailing 1–0. The commentators and the fans watching: ? ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Reader’s Guide: 1. This isn’t a typical football novel. Football, romance, cases, and VIVI’s everyday misfortunes each make up a quarter of the story. The author is a casual fan, so corrections are welcome. 2. Some major cases and people’s exploits in the story are based on real events, but have been artistically adapted. Just enjoy them for fun~ 3. The 2002 World Cup, the Night in Istanbul, and Calciopoli will be changed. Sheva won’t leave the club too early, and mysterious investors will buy Milan. 4. Apologies to the players and teams who’ve had their trophies reassigned (drops to knees). Any OOC is on me. The glory belongs to all the players and everyone involved in the sport. #What’s the difference between becoming a Milan fan in 2025 and joining the Nationalist Army in 1949# #I’m writing football fanfic, cut me some slack# #Even if ten thousand people disagree, I’ll say it: I write fanfic to make up for regrets!# Theme: May every effort and sacrifice be rewarded