Who Says You Can't Become a Detective Just Because You Play Football?

Tang Weian Garcia was born with a lifetime supply of bad luck.

Whenever he buys a cup of instant noodles at the supermarket, the noodles are always broken. When he joins the line for pastries, his favorite flavor is always sold out by the time it's his turn. Little thieves keep showing up around his rented home, so often that filling out a report at the gendarmerie station feels as familiar as going to Milanello's training grounds...

The snowy-country forward who recently joined the team sees Garcia diligently polishing his shoes in the locker room every day and wonders if the guy has a thing about cleanliness. Later, he learns it's simply because Garcia is so unlucky that he steps in dog poop every time he goes out.

Garcia's bad luck follows him onto the pitch, too.

He has a brilliant feel for the ball, with great dribbling, bursts of pace, and ball control. He plays as smoothly and beautifully as if he were dancing. He's good at everything, except... scoring goals during matches.

Garcia himself doesn't really mind. It's football, so having fun is what matters. Setting up his teammates to score is great, too!

Besides, he isn't completely incapable of scoring. Aside from the miraculous goals that are impossible to plan for, special thanks go to the opponents' goalposts, their players' thighs, and his own teammates' backsides (A certain Apennine Rose: ?)

As long as life goes on, the game goes on.

And bad luck never stops coming around.

But luck always balances out in the end. Somehow, this guy's luck actually starts to turn around (Really?)

He goes to the 345 Bar to unwind and stumbles upon a corpse-disposal scene! A young player from the club's youth academy steps up to help...

After a match, Milan and Lazio players go out for a meal and stumble into a Mafia deal involving uranium! Watch as a footballer-turned-secret-agent (?) escapes Rome with nuclear weapons in a deadly game of cat and mouse.

On vacation in a certain eastern country, he gets caught up in a series of murders, then races against time to save two police officers!

A teammate's younger brother is kidnapped. Don't panic, Detective VIVI is here!

Years later, a newly appointed police commissioner in Milan says during a public address, "I owe my position today in part to a friend of mine. His intuition is as sharp as Inspector Columbo's, and he's repeatedly been the key to solving our cases..."

A reporter asks, "Is this friend you mentioned a colleague, a fellow officer, or perhaps a senior figure?"

The new commissioner replies, "No, he's a football player."

[Cover artist: Yi Ya 1121 (MHS)]

★You don't need to know football to enjoy this! The author also started from scratch before writing this. Notes on the technical details are included in the author's comments.

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[Mini-scene: A Famous Night in Istanbul]

The 2005 UEFA Champions League final.

Just 52 seconds after kickoff, Milan's captain scores, breaking the record for the fastest goal in a Champions League final and giving Milan a dream start.

At halftime, AC Milan head into the break with a commanding 3-0 lead.

In the locker room, the Milan players are so excited they're practically going crazy. After all, the Big Ears trophy is just within reach, beckoning to them.

Everyone, that is, except one person.

Garcia sits in the corner, frowning and bouncing his leg. He looks tense and anxious, completely at odds with his teammates, who are already celebrating.

Shevchenko squeezes in beside Garcia and nudges his arm. "What's wrong?"

Garcia looks stricken. "I haven't stepped in dog poop once all day..."

Shevchenko tries to reassure him. "Uh, maybe you'll step in some on the way back after the match?"

Garcia raises the stakes. "I just changed my clothes and somehow found five million old Turkish lira wedged in my locker."

Shevchenko lets out a long hiss. "That's impossible! You got that lucky?"

Garcia scowls and shows the banknote to his teammates. "Exactly. That's why my sixth sense tells me I'm about to have the worst luck ever."

When halftime ends, the Milan players emerge from the tunnel with grave expressions, as if they were the ones who had conceded three goals in the first half.

The commentators and spectators: ?

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Reader's Guide:

1. This isn't a typical football story. Football, romance, crime cases, and VIVI's unlucky daily life each get equal attention. The author is a casual fan, so corrections are welcome.

2. Some major cases and characters' stories are fictionalized and adapted from real life. Just enjoy it as a bit of fun.

3. The 2002 World Cup, the Night in Istanbul, and Calciopoli will be changed. Sheva won't leave too early, and mysterious investors will buy Milan.

4. Apologies to the players and teams who were transferred away from the trophy (drops to knees). Any out-of-character writing is on me; the glory belongs to all the players and everyone involved.

#How is getting into football in 2025 any different from joining the national army in 1949#

#I've written a football fic, cut me some slack#

#I don't care if ten thousand people disagree: fanfiction is for fixing regrets!#

Theme: May every effort and sacrifice be rewarded.