Your Highness, Please Don't Do That

The current progress is about 160 chapters. So far, the advantages and disadvantages of this book are very obvious to me in terms of look and feel. Needless to say the advantages. In terms of elegance, the imagination is very rich, the construction of the world view is very rich, and the writing is very delicate. The tension of rebuking Fang Qiu and the sense of loneliness under the mysterious afterglow create a good atmosphere for the book. The sections that praise those who still bear the burden in the Muggle world also left a deep impression on me; But the shortcomings are also prominent, even too prominent for an old man like me, so that I can't complain (so the author is very sorry, in fact, I am here to find fault, and I hope Haihan (~￣▽￣)~). In my humble opinion, the biggest problem with this book is the very reader-unfriendly writing method, which I call the "stream of consciousness writing method": the author throws the story nodes into the text flow one by one according to the flow direction of his own stream of consciousness, completely regardless of whether the reader can keep up with the author's flow speed. First of all, an important manifestation is that the logical chain of the key points of the plot is always not shown to the readers very smoothly and completely. You must act as a riddle to force the readers to guess riddles. For example, this is a very common plot logic structure of "inheritance, succession, transition and combination": [1]Start: The protagonist has clues A, B, C, D... (List of clues) in front of the protagonist [2] Succession: The protagonist suddenly noticed clue B (emphasis on important clues) [3] Transition: (Contextual connection) There are two situations here:        Situation 1, clue B is related to a previous event X, so the protagonist thinks about the relationship between B and Related thoughts The above is a normal development logic chain, but in this book, I found that steps 2 and 3 are often missing. The situation in this article is: the protagonist has a goal Y, the protagonist has a bunch of clues ABCD, the protagonist thinks about the relationship between Y and B and draws a conclusion. As for why it is B and the hidden X, the article does not explain it at all, leaving it up to the readers to think. Give a specific example: in Chapter 163 Chapter 1, the protagonist accepted the mission of the Rainbow Island, and this passage came out of the book: "[Completion reward: 'Random attributes +5'*3, Arms investment for the Hammer of War*1, Mysterious antiques*1, Basic forbidden apprentice textbooks*8, Advanced forbidden science "The Power of the Mind: How to Distort the Real World"*1, The reputation of the Kingdom of Saurondo +300, The presence of the Magicians Association +300.]" Then passed. After line 17, this paragraph suddenly appeared in the book: [So Louis feels that this matter was not caused by the ancient gods, but the antique is probably related to the ancient gods. So maybe, after the War God's Hammer fleet arrived in that sea area with the antiques, the Rainbow Kingdom was targeted by the ancient gods. I don't know if any readers can understand how confused I felt when I read this paragraph: "Antique? What antique?". Then I went back 17 paragraphs and realized that the sentence "mysterious antique*1" was indeed mentioned above, but then I immediately had doubts in my mind: "Antique? What antique?". So I turned back again, and finally found this paragraph in Chapter 151: [Archie said with bright eyes: "The Stooges mercenaries once followed the archaeological team and discovered some valuable things during the archaeology - some deep-sea antiques, as well as magic books and documents secretly preserved by some wizards in the ancient book-burning era - they were fished out from the sea by us."] So have you found the problem? From Chapter 151 to Chapter 163, there are 12 chapters in total. The author buried a foreshadowing in a very random corner of Chapter 12, and assumed that the readers would remember this foreshadowing, and then use it as an important clue after Chapter 12. From the perspective of plot logic, it is actually a very normal "grass snake gray line" technique, but in terms of narrative processing, the author did a very poor job. Because according to normal logic, it should be: 1. The protagonist read the clues given to him by the storybook (start) 2. The protagonist noticed the antiques in the clues (continue) 3. The protagonist remembered that Archie mentioned the antiques discovered by the mercenaries to him before (forward) 4. "So Louis feels that this matter was not caused by the ancient gods, but the antique is probably related to the ancient gods" (jointly) However, in the processing of this book, the two middle links were directly eliminated. The essence of the above problem is that "the author does not pay attention to 'allowing readers to clearly understand what is happening'". The examples just mentioned are relatively serious manifestations, but there are a lot of relatively weak examples in the book. For example, there are some strange story arrangements: in Chapter 69, the protagonist said: "Anthony Bai beat the moon god into a dot matrix." The word "Moon God" had only appeared twice before (Chapter 24, Chapter 34), and it was always in the context of religion, which led me to always think that "Moon God" was a virtual concept similar to "God" and "God" - but in Chapter 69, a setting was suddenly thrown out that "The Moon God actually exists, and Antoninen died of him", which caused my mind to not turn around for a while. It wasn't until Chapter 78 that the author officially told the story of "Antony was unhappy with the moon god and killed him" - well, you can't say that there is a problem with the logic of this story, after all, everything that should be told in the book is told, but this order of telling is really counter-intuitive and does not conform to the general logic. Another example is the confusing expression of character communication. This often happens: when I read a certain paragraph, I suddenly can't tell whether it is the psychological activity of the character, the words spoken by the character, or the prompts given by the storybook. The above problems naturally lead to a very practical problem: when reading, there is a serious sense of separation. It often happens that "the people in the book are very calm and seem to know everything, but I am completely confused and don't know what is going on." In this case, you either have to force yourself to think about "what the hell happened?" Or you can only hold back and hope that the author can give some explanations after two chapters. These problems do not mean that the author's basic skills are insufficient - on the contrary, ordinary novice authors really will not encounter these problems. I said at the beginning that this book has "a rich worldview and a very delicate writing style." A concrete manifestation of this is that the author's foreshadowing skills are very sufficient (or overdone~_~), and he can even retract it - but the problem is that he never mentions the readers when he resuming it. The author seems to lack the awareness of "letting readers understand". It is precisely this lack of awareness that makes reading this book very tiring. Of course, it needs to be emphasized again that I have only seen Chapter 160 so far, so this is just a staged book review and only represents my current feelings. I also look forward to the author getting better and better in subsequent chapters.

The setting is excellent, and the first three golden chapters are really exciting. The author writes it very sluttishly, which is very satisfying, but there are some problems with the subsequent writing. First, the middle chapters are very confusing, with many meaningless branch lines, which confuses the main line and makes the entire plot very confusing. I feel that it would be better if the branch lines can be used as foreshadowing for the main line, or used to introduce the world view and the main line content. Second, there are some problems with the character design. First, the names of the former Witch Queen, the current Witch Queen and the mentor cannot be remembered well. The character of the former Witch Queen as a changer is not established. The mentor's arrogance, the protagonist's embarrassment before passing the test and other details are not well described; and then Helen (who has been with the protagonist in the early stage, giving people the feeling of a heroine, but disappeared in the subsequent events, and there are not even magicians following the Kate incident) The earl (who has a high appearance rate) and other minor supporting characters do not use side events to highlight their characters, including Sakura Ling. From the appearance to the follow-up, only the opening day of the pillow has an outstanding description. If I watch it every few days, I will probably forget these characters; the protagonist has a destiny book. In fact, this golden finger is the best thing to use to establish the character. Using the narration of the destiny book to inform the reader of the psychological activities of these characters is much better than the protagonist using mind reading. Of course these are just my opinions. I still hope that the author can write according to the outline and his own ideas. Come on.

I have read this book from the beginning several times. I was originally attracted by the introduction and early stage when it was recommended. Then when I read more than 100 chapters, I felt that it was getting more and more confusing and stopped reading. Recently, I have really run out of books to read, so I read this book again. For me, the previous plot is really interesting, the harem is also very comfortable, and the female character also has her own personality. I really like Helen. In the early plots, it feels like the protagonist is making his own changes in this gradually decaying fantasy world. During this period, there are also relatively distinctive characters, such as the wizard who has no magic power but has been studying and helping others, Hobo who insists on digging holy water to bring hope for the seven-color rain, and the wizard who was cursed to become a vampire. These all reflect the protagonist's views on the world. As one thing happens, the protagonist becomes stronger and stronger, and he has a deeper relationship with several female protagonists. Of course, I have more and more wives, which makes me feel very happy. But until later on, I felt that after the divinity of the sun god overwhelmed Xiao Ao's humanity, the real experience was very poor. I felt that the people who were bound to the protagonist either did not appear or were alienated. I personally felt that the protagonist was like an orphan but not as strong as before. In short, I just felt aggrieved. Then came more and more new terms and new events. The more I read, the more irritated I became. It didn't have the relaxed and nonsensical comfort before. It was also difficult to understand the male protagonist's subsequent emotional changes. It really felt more and more depressing. Now that I have read more than 600 chapters, I feel that the 100 chapters from about 550 to here are really torture. I can't stand it anymore. I hope the ending is that the simple protagonist changes the world and lives happily with his wives. Finally, I really admire the author's persistence in writing. Come on. (Anyway, I feel like I really can't sleep if I don't say something)

If it is an invincible stream, I suggest that it is better to have more daily accounts. For example, the latest gambling agreement is very interesting. Combat, upgrades, data, etc. Can actually be blurred, as long as the author knows it clearly. This will not easily lead to data logic problems. Then there is too little interaction between the battle line and the daily line, and there will be a sense of fragmentation when switching to the daily line. Okay, let me show it off. I just want to see the protagonist flirting with a beautiful woman. Can you please hurry up? Nowadays, the Neptune style is popular, and it is recommended to have a direct relationship. It would be better to have another carnivorous heroine who takes the initiative to attack.

Thoughts after reading: First, the foreshadowing and foreshadowing are too shallow and overemphasized. The main plot is weak and the follow-up is weak. The story written by the author is indeed good but the development is not satisfactory. The early foreshadowing does not need to emphasize a certain setting all the time. It just needs to advance the plot of the story. When I read it, I felt that the author was very restless here and did not write well. When the task conflict is about to break out in the middle of the story, the priority relationship is not clear, leading to a certain degree of confusion in expression. The author seems to be intentionally avoiding the climax of the conflict between non-protagonist characters. As a book that deliberately describes an epic plot, the explanation of secondary characters and secondary stories is weak. I feel that the author has already thought about writing in the direction of cutting out the complex and simplifying it, but some necessary stories are a bit too simple. Sometimes I look forward to the story unfolding from the perspectives of Helen and Francesco.

From a narrative point of view, the author is the crazy deus ex machina in this book. He wants to say a lot, but there is not enough time to write the book, so he roughs it up. However, because the author's writing style has a strange charm, it will have a different flavor after reading too much. It's just that in the past month, he has had less time to write articles. He has begun to force settings on his face, and there are no more eighteen turns in the mountain road. It's very uncomfortable. The progress of the plot can really be slowed down. Just write an outline when you think of it or save it as it is now, and then slowly add things and release it. It could be a lot better.

Author, you should focus on practicing your writing. Many of the words you write are awkward and difficult to understand.

To be honest, the quality of the free chapters is hard to say except for the first few chapters. The first few chapters were very engaging, but after unfolding Goldfinger, I felt as if the author had cut a section directly from another book and pasted it over. All kinds of inexplicable. These awkward two-dimensional daily depictions of several female characters that appear are really unlikable. All kinds of forced spoofs and willfulness almost overwhelmed me. After reading the first 80 chapters, I didn't find a character that I liked. The protagonist was inexplicably invincible and had an inexplicable sense of superiority. I was confused when I read it. The childishness of the protagonist's teacher, Helen's willfulness and the bullying of the weak by several fox girls all left a deep impression on me. Although they were all negative, this operation completely destroyed the characters portrayed by the author. In terms of world view, it borrowed a lot from the world view of "Harry Potter", not It's not okay to say this, but this book is not a fan fiction. The background introduction is too rough, completely fragmented and unsystematic, and it is up to the readers to figure it out. This seems a bit irresponsible. The readers will not know whether you have borrowed part of it or copied it directly. Although everyone in the comment section said that the rest of the story is exciting, the author's approach is really hard to retain people. It is recommended to directly delete part of it or change it again.

My sister thought that she could choose from both BC and BC...

What to say We won't discuss the driving skills. I can't understand the driving skills of an experienced driver🤔 High scores for imagination High scores for worldview structure Power system - the essential structure of magic, full marks Then there is writing... Hmm... Uh... Oh!

That's pretty coherent, isn't it? ⊙▽⊙

It has nothing to do with the title of the book, it's just a different version of One Punch Man. But the writing is very interesting. The author's writing is very sexy, I like it very much.

Your introduction is a bit sexy 😏

To be honest, when I read the introduction, I wanted to scold you no matter which one you chose. But I never expected it

He is an ordinary person if his heart changes with his circumstances, and he is a sage if his circumstances change with his heart.

This book is a pity. In fact, the setting is still very good, and the plot is also ridiculous, but there are too many poisonous points. I can't read more than 300 chapters. 😂 ① There is a lily plot. The two lesbians, Black Dragon MM and Vampire, were too uncomfortable to read, especially when they showed off their sucking for the first time. When it comes to vampire lesbian attributes, the protagonist is directly ntr by Lily ②The protagonist is too aggrieved. He is obviously in the invincible style, but he can be so aggrieved, which is outrageous... You are the first one I have seen. The protagonist has always been portrayed as strong, but he is always very timid. , I'm afraid of this and that. Maybe the author wanted to follow the unconscious pretense style of "I'm Really Not a Demon God", but he didn't grasp it well, which made the writing very frustrating. The protagonist is obviously very strong, but he succumbed to the rights of the powerful. Before confiscating Xiaodai, he could only endure being humiliated by her. The author may I wanted to write a bit of a rough sketch, but I couldn't quite grasp the timing, so it was very frustrating, and the plot was too muddled. When I was writing about the Red Dragon Prince, he killed the Red Dragon Prince with a sword and then hurriedly ran to find Hogg to apologize. Then he accidentally cut off a mountain and scared Hogg away. It was very pointless. Yu... You have laid the groundwork to this point and yet you still don't fight Hogg, and you look like you are afraid of being blamed. Although you scared it away in the end, it really doesn't feel any better. It would be much better if you directly wrote that Louis killed the red dragon prince and then angrily killed Hogg and challenged the dragons to marry Xiao Ao. Mainly The character was written too weakly by the author, which made it not enjoyable and very frustrating. If the protagonist could be more domineering and take the devil line, it would be better. The results of this book would not be so miserable 😂 ③Character creation, although this book has established the personalities of most of the characters, it is still There is a slight flaw. She made the mother-in-law too ex-girlfriend. She thought about marrying Xiao Ao to the dragon clan all day long. She would rather marry Xiao Ao to that scum red dragon prince than to marry Louis. It felt like she didn't consider Xiao Ao's feelings at all, and just used Xiao Ao and Xiao Dai as political bargaining chips. , And she wants to cheat the protagonist every day, it's so extroverted, but she is still a teammate. The protagonist knows that she wants to cheat him, but he is not angry, and sometimes even licks her. ④The sandbox elements are not arranged well. I feel that many times the author just wants to write a bit of sandbox, just how the protagonist is cheated, and then the protagonist is very aggrieved. There is no problem with these plots, but you cannot assign them to the protagonist. If you assign these plots to the supporting characters, they will not look aggrieved ⑤ Every time the epic plot is not laid out in place, the climax is stretched, the effect is not written, and the reader's emotions cannot be aroused. It feels like the author arranges the plot in a hurry every time and ends it in a hurry. In fact, it doesn't matter if you write it slowly, this kind of plot needs to be crafted carefully. I feel that the author has quite a lot of potential, but unfortunately he has no experience in writing online articles. I can't stand this book anymore, but I look forward to your next counterattack 😄

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This book is really frustrating, really frustrating. Francesco starts to deceive the male protagonist when he comes on the scene. He starts to cause trouble under the male protagonist's vest. When he is done, he blames the male protagonist. He also lets the male protagonist wipe away any mistakes he made. When the male protagonist has something good in his hand, he starts to cheat. I'm done saying this is for your own good. I'm really going to vomit blood. You said that both of your daughters are going to marry the male protagonist, so it's okay to feel unhappy. You™ gave one of your daughters to a villain and you thought it wasn't enough, so you planned to add the Black Dragon Princess as well. (Originally, he wanted the heroine to marry the black dragon) Later, the hero defeated the opposing villain, pushed the princess to the position of leader, and tried every means to trap the hero. Moreover, the main male protagonist needs strength and connections, and I feel that every female protagonist is scared to death. After licking one, lick the other. And it is always described that there is no male protagonist, who will this heroine marry? Who will the heroine marry? And the emotional drama between the mother-in-law and Ige is always described. I can't stand it anymore

Rare advantages: The setting is good, the writing is good, and the author knows the plot well. Some of the small details in the text are very poignant Common disadvantages: The author is thoughtful, but the key information and poignant details are easily buried in a story that is too cumbersome and trivial Then why does it feel cumbersome and trivial? I have to say that almost all such thoughtful authors have this problem to some extent. The twist is quick, there is no watering down, no momentum building, and no foreshadowing (the above is not based on Internet standards), so the key plot is thrown out all at once. In normal or better-performing works, these key plots will be designed as a climax and displayed with sufficient foreshadowing in the early stage. From a certain perspective, this "lack of foreshadowing" may also be because the plot development is too complicated. For web articles, this is a mixed bag. There are other aspects, such as only the protagonist can stand up relatively well. As soon as Helen stood up, she quickly transformed into a tool person. Ophelia has always been able to stand up, but she always failed to stand up. Other characters are brought to life by excellent writing, but just don't stand up. This may also be the result of no foreshadowing, no watering down, and a slightly complicated plot structure. If the author sees the suggestions I gave, he can refer to them as appropriate. 1. If possible, the plot structure should be simple. The positive reading experience brought by the complete plot structure cannot be brought by the reading experience brought by the fragmented plot. Concise and clear plot structure is the key to attracting people. This aspect includes dungeons, main lines, strategies, etc. The structure should be further clarified. 2. In terms of characters, Laozang's settings are different. Arrange dungeons appropriately for these characters to advance their relationships. There are pros and cons. In fact, in a male-channeled novel, if the heroine and supporting characters can stand up, it will be easy for the protagonist to stand up! It doesn't matter if you are an LSP or a tangled monster. On the contrary, only the protagonist can stand up, and unless there are a few circumstances, the feeling cannot be written. 3. Keep writing.

Hahaha

There are a lot of grammatical errors, stream of consciousness writing, the structure is too scattered, and the priority is unclear. What looks profound is actually just a concave character design. The plot occasionally has a small climax, but most of the time it is a sparse plot, and driving is used to alleviate the embarrassment of the plot. The big scene was not well rendered, it suddenly reached a climax, and then ended suddenly. The rest is a bunch of plot that makes people want to fast forward. To summarize, the idea is good and the perspective is interesting, but the author has poor self-control and often gets carried away by himself while writing. Then the character dialogue is very much like in Shuiqun, with very little professional script design. The structure of individual chapters is also very loose. The sudden addition of settings and inexplicable self-interest disrupt the continuity and progressive structure of the entire chapter, making people easily distracted. Keep up the hard work, it's true that the writing is a bit poor. It's okay to pass the time

After reading the introduction, I decisively chose 3. After reading the introduction, I realized that I was just a kid.

Helen

Osycles

{"NickName":"","UserId":190765652}Do you like me Keqing ?

It's such a scumbag. The protagonist's setting is quite interesting, but that's all it has. The logic of the story is messy, and I was confused from the beginning to the end. There is a forbidden grandmaster who I don't know what he is, an inexplicable astral traveler, a moon god who appears from nowhere, an unknown so-called dot pattern, a sanctuary that was originally just a dispensable background. I originally thought it represented the earth, but suddenly it became something that seemed very awesome, and was even connected in reality, as well as a storybook with inexplicable and strange origins. Listening to the protagonist calmly talking about a series of things that seemed to be taken for granted, such as Anthony, Sanctuary, and Dawn, I was completely confused. There was nothing written in the book, and there was no explanation later. I knew that the author must know these things, but I didn't fucking know. To be honest, while watching it, I always thought I was watching an abridged version. I always feel like there are a lot of things missing in the middle, and a section skips inexplicably. The logic does not match up at all, the story line does not connect, and I have no idea how things are going to develop.        ，，，，，， This kind of female character who is obviously going to be the protagonist's harem in the future, with noble status, extraordinary talent, and powerful strength, actually marries an ordinary person like this, and she is still an ordinary waste. But I would not be so disgusted by a Muggle king with great ambitions. What's even more disgusting is that this female character actually voluntarily married the king, and she actually liked the king. This is purely a setting added to add the wife attribute to one of the female characters. To give the protagonist a wife without any regard for the logic of the story, it is too poisonous. I wrote this review with a disgusting attitude in the early hours of the morning. Originally, I removed it from the bookshelf and didn't plan to read it again. It was really disgusting, I had chest tightness and shortness of breath, and a feeling of depression in my chest, making me feel uncomfortable and unhappy. If I don't scold this author today, it will really keep me awake all night, and it will disgust me for days. I was originally very interested in this book, and I could tolerate some shortcomings. Damn it, I really couldn't stand it anymore due to this setting.

To be honest, I don't know what the author is doing in the later chapters of this book. It seems that the author is amusing himself.

What the hell are vampires with over 200 chapters? Why did you and Xiao Ao get Lily and put a hat on the protagonist? I followed the update from the new book to this point. The new book Luna also has a bit of NTR flavor. I hope the author will pay more attention to it😰

It's so intellectual, it made my head spin when I watched it. The power of the classic is so strong that I have to suppress it. The classic revolves around beautiful women. I can't stand it anymore and left.

Writing is also particularly stream-of-consciousness. If you can understand the whole book and there is nothing unclear throughout the whole process, then your brain circuit is definitely a genius👍🏻