A Cheapskate Fool Transmigrates Into a Villain

● The penniless, clueless chief minister whose story follows a rise-fall-rise-fall arc x the gay, cold-blooded, inscrutable emperor whose story follows a rise-fall-rise-gay arc

● Eight-year age gap | Read the notes and content warnings below

● My next novel is A Guide to Spoiling Your Blind Little Sweetheart. Tap the first title in my author page!

Rong Shuang was knocked out and transported to ancient times. When he opened his eyes, he had become the powerful chief minister of the current dynasty, infamous for his extravagant, debauched lifestyle and wanton spending.

Rong Shuang, who had just fought his way through the supermarket for discounted eggs at five yuan for two jin: What? No way.

The original owner of his body was a fresh, juicy tumor. The newly enthroned emperor, Ying Wujiao, was determined to clean house, and the first person he planned to kill was him.

Rong Shuang: Prosperity, democracy, civility, harmony...

The next second, a deadly trap descended from the heavens.

The emperor's hand clamped around his throat like an iron vise. His voice was cold as a ghost's:

"Your worthless life is mine."

Rong Shuang went deathly pale and trembled all over. His blood sugar had dropped, and he fainted from hunger.

"Your Majesty, give... give me a steamed bun..."

Ying Wujiao: "?"

-

Ying Wujiao was suspicious, calculating, cold-blooded, and cruel, like a venomous snake flicking its tongue. Uprooting Rong Zhihuan was the first sharp blade he wielded against the crumbling court.

But things soon took a bizarre turn.

"The rich feast while the poor starve! Waaah!"

"What kind of treasure costs three hundred taels of gold?!"

"Starting today, everyone in this residence is tightening their belts!"

At first, Ying Wujiao thought it was just a stalling tactic. Then the young man got drunk, stuffed both sleeves with pastries from the banquet, and pitifully held his official robe out to him.

"Your Majesty... my sleeve is torn..."

"Can I get reimbursed?"

Ying Wujiao looked down at him, his gaze inscrutable.

-

Years later, on the day of the empress's coronation, in their bedchamber.

The peerlessly handsome emperor put an arm around Rong Shuang's waist. His voice was languid and low. "I'll give you the entire Liang Empire. In return, no more steamed buns for your next meal, hmm?"

Rong Shuang: "I suppose I can agree to that."

Ying Wujiao leaned in to kiss him.

Rong Shuang twiddled his fingers shyly. "Then... can I take the wine bottles left over from the banquet and sell them?"

"..."

#What’s an emperor to do when he has to eat steamed buns with his wife every day?

#Breaking news: The empress went dumpster diving to sell junk again today!

#Scraps from the court, the emperor’s little pride and joy

#Rise-fall-rise-gay

#A chief minister’s guide to staying alive

● Another silly, ridiculous comedy in my usual style, with a sweet-and-silly core. The free chapters are there to try out. If it’s not your thing, please hit the X and move on. Comments that are disruptive, abusive, or malicious will be deleted.

● The political scheming is still elementary-school level, pure nonsense. The difference between this and my story about the secret guard is that the secret guard has first-grade political schemes, while the chief minister’s are sixth-grade. That’s it.

● The blurb is meant to showcase the characters. The actual story takes precedence.

● No arguing or picking fights. Outrageous comments will definitely be deleted. No need to tell me if you drop the story.

● Content warning: The love interest is a gay man with touch starvation, and he is suspicious and cold-blooded. Unlike the secret guard story, this one is not smooth sailing and sweet romance all the way to the end. Before the prince becomes emperor, the court is unstable. Expect things like putting on an act, setting traps, and imprisonment, among other plot points. The love interest is not a good person in the strict sense: he is a cold, cruel, ruthless feudal ruler, and his tongue is really vicious early on. If you can’t handle one kiss from him without swooning off to paradise, please know what you’re getting into. Little Kitty is thrifty by nature. Don’t ask why the love interest doesn’t give him things early on: for one thing, their relationship hasn’t reached that point yet; for another, Little Kitty really is frugal. Please read the title and blurb! If this kind of couple dynamic isn’t for you, please quit while you’re ahead.

● Our Rong Little Kitty becomes the darling of the court later on. Think iron-fisted emperor, a powerhouse cabinet of ministers, a bestie group of powerful families in the capital, and their little cat’s daily life.

● Weibo: @Jinjiang Zhangma. I regularly post bonus material, sweet after-story extras, and surreal skits that words can’t do justice. Come say hi!

My Lord Marquis Has Something to Say

A clueless, ambitious little marquis who can’t plan his way out of a paper bag, the bottom x a far-sighted but too-lazy-to-plan genius prince, the top

Lin Ning x Ying Congque

One day, Lin Ning awakened to the truth: he was living in a wildly over-the-top political intrigue novel. The male lead was Lu Tingfeng, the Jinyiwei Commander in charge of the Northern Pacification Office’s prisons. The other lead was Gu Xinglan, the peerlessly beautiful and talented Eunuch of the Eastern Depot, known as the Ninth Thousand Years.

Both men had an almost pathological need for control. Their turbulent romance was a brutal push and pull as they eliminated rivals and political enemies, plotted a coup, and ultimately climbed to the summit of power over countless corpses.

Lin Ning was one of the countless cannon-fodder characters who died early, though not quite the earliest.

That distinction belonged to his good friend, the second prince, Ying Congque.

-

Lin Ning was born into the Marquis of Changning’s household and grew up alongside Ying Congque. Their closeness was common knowledge throughout the Liang Empire. Spending the night in each other’s beds was nothing out of the ordinary.

As far as Lin Ning was concerned, the story should go like this: Ying Congque had no interest in the throne, was low-key and a good-for-nothing, and had his big brother the crown prince looking out for him. One day, he’d be sent off to Jiangnan as an idle prince, and Lin Ning would spend the rest of his life living it up with his best friend, carefree and happy.

But after reading the whole story, Lin Ning was left reeling.

In the original novel, the male and female leads, Lu Tingfeng and Gu Xinglan, each carried a blood feud and endured humiliation. And the greatest humiliation they had to bear early on came from Lin Ning and his friend Ying Congque.

While drinking and enjoying the company of courtesans at a tavern, Lin Ning ran into the Jinyiwei on a case, fell in love with Lu Tingfeng at first sight, and threw himself into forcing Lu Tingfeng into a relationship.

At a palace banquet, Ying Congque met the sickly beauty Gu Xinglan, fell in love at first sight, and threw himself into forcing Gu Xinglan into a relationship.

One was a cannon-fodder bottom and the other a cannon-fodder top. The leads, who never let a grudge go, left one blind and bereft of his family, and broke the other’s legs and imprisoned him in the second prince’s residence, forcing him to watch the Liang Empire change hands.

Lin Ning: ...

Did these two couch potatoes really have to force their way into relationships?

And weren’t they supposed to be straight?!

Lin Ning felt like the sky had fallen. After thinking it over, he decided the two of them could still be saved.

Day one: Lin Ning climbed into his friend’s bed in the middle of the night. "Buddy, go over the Four Books and Five Classics again!"

Day two: Lin Ning climbed into his friend’s bed in the middle of the night. "Buddy, try to win the chief minister over!"

Day N: After all his efforts failed to stop Ying Congque and Gu Xinglan from meeting at the palace banquet, Lin Ning couldn’t help climbing into his friend’s bed again in the middle of the night. "Buddy, don’t fall for Gu Xinglan! He’s a man! Get a grip!"

Before he could say more, a strong arm pulled him into an embrace. A deep, lazy voice murmured in his ear, "Our Ningning has grown up. He knows what it means to like someone now."

Lin Ning: ?

-

At some point, Ying Congque realized his childhood friend was acting strangely. Not only did he climb into his bed every night, he also kept dragging him into strange talks about men and men together.

"You really shouldn’t fall for a man, okay? I heard sleeping with a man is uncomfortable. They’re hard and bony, and hugging them is the worst."

Ying Congque lowered his eyes and leisurely took in the sight of his bright, beautiful, bold childhood friend.

During a palace coup, his little friend turned pale with fright and clung to him. "Buddy, why don’t you try for the throne too?! Waaah! Win me some merit for backing the dragon! Waaah! I don’t want to die! Waaah!"

Ying Congque patted his head.

"All right."

At some point, Lin Ning also realized his friend was acting strangely. Not only did he pin him to the bed every night, he also kept saying strange things to him.

Later, Ying Congque used an iron fist to restore order to the court and ascend the throne. Lin Ning had only just breathed a sigh of relief when Lu Chenfeng and Gu Xinglan both showed up at the Marquis of Changning’s residence to propose marriage.

Lin Ning: ?? Hey!

He had planned to go to the palace and complain, but was seized and taken to the emperor’s bedchamber first.

Ying Congque wrapped his arms around him from behind.

His voice was slow and dark:

"These fools don’t know their place. They keep crowding around you."

"Should I kill them?"

-

His good friend had become emperor. Since they were now ruler and subject, Lin Ning wanted to ask Ying Congque to send him off to Jiangnan, where he could return to the capital once a year for the holidays.

That night, Lin Ning nearly died in the emperor’s bedchamber, on the dragon bed.

Seriously, how had his friend changed the target of his forced romance to him?

Theme: Let the past die as if it were yesterday; let the future begin as if it were today.