Confession Room Livestream: Gossip and Pets

◇🥺 Opens in November: Retirement Livestream, Gossip, and Pets’ Dreams Make Me Famous

[🎧 Blurb⁺💿𓏸˒˒💎𓈒𓂂𓏸 ]⤾

On the eve of his debut, Yu Yin was blacklisted.

With no fame and no savings, he was pitiful enough that the young owner of an internet cafe took him in.

One tentative offer later, Yu Yin had been recruited into the owner’s newly founded grand enterprise: a provocative male streamer.

So the next day

Netizens stumbled across Yu Yin, forced into a nun cosplay and running a livestream titled [Nun’s Confessional].

Netizens assumed that if they opened Yu Yin’s stream, they’d get the whole package: suggestive content and hot dancing.

But when they clicked in, what did they see?

“I confess, I recently bought a warehouse full of canned food. I think I put too much pressure on my dog. He’s become depressed.”

“I confess, my dog is usually full of energy and especially loves gold, but after I had a necklace custom-made for him, he refused to move. Could the gold be bad for him??”

“I confess, my dog loves a certain brand of snacks. I didn’t trust anyone else to make them, so I spent seven hundred million to buy the brand. But now my dog doesn’t seem to like them?? Did they give me the wrong recipe?”

Luxury cars, mansions, top-tier families, top-tier stars, and mortal enemies all showed up, dropping into the livestream out of nowhere...

Faced with such tricky questions, netizens joked:

[This time, it really isn’t staged. I’m sure all these people dropping in are prominent figures in our city. Especially my fave, whose dog has had this problem for ages and no one’s been able to solve it. Is he about to ruin the streamer’s reputation as soon as he starts?]

[Honey, just stick to being suggestive. This isn’t the kind of work we do.]

Everyone thought Yu Yin would give up on these tricky questions.

Instead, all they heard was his cool reply:

“Don’t feed your dog fermented herring.”

“If you wore an eight-kilogram gold necklace around your head, you’d be depressed too.”

“Snacks aren’t meals. No matter how much he loves them, you can’t buy a factory and feed them to him every day...”

Netizens assumed Yu Yin had no idea what he was talking about and was making things up.

But then the camera turned, and every single thing he’d said came true, leaving netizens stunned:

[Wait, someone really bought a warehouse full of fermented herring and fed it to their dog?]

[Wait, even an adult couldn’t hold their head up with an eight-kilogram gold necklace on!]

[Ahhh, who’s feeding their dog snacks as meals every day?]

They watched as the pets, who had looked half-dead on camera just moments before, turned to Yu Yin, acting pitiful and cute, voicing all their grievances and saying they wanted to cry. Some even knocked over their owners, packed their bags, and tried to run away from home with the streamer!

After that, more and more pets wanted to go with Yu Yin, and more and more people watched his livestream.

Yu Yin became completely famous. Even big shots from other circles and netizens dropped into the stream to ask questions and take notes.

*

Later on,

the rich top supporters started fighting, too.

A troublemaking viewer egged them on, asking Yu Yin which one he liked best.

Yu Yin replied calmly: “The top supporter.”

Everyone thought Yu Yin’s money-loving, fussy persona would make the big shots leave in a huff.

But the very next second

the top supporters started throwing virtual carnival gifts at one another.

The stream’s backend

was flooded.

*

Later still,

the top supporter posted a photo of a red marriage certificate.

Again and again, he pressed red marks onto the heartless, flirtatious cat who had teased him and run, still half-asleep in his arms, and showed off on his profile: 😎 Sorry, I’m the one who came out on top.

[Reader’s Guide]

① A money-loving, flirtatious streamer on the receiving end x a CEO who gets hooked and sets his sights on winning him over.

② Both are sexually inexperienced; one-on-one romance. Most of the tropes are original, though some may draw on online sources, clips, variety shows, and books.

③ All asterisks refer to online memes, events, or quoted legal articles. They have sources or are excerpted, so no additional citations will be provided.

④ Accepted typo reports have been moved down the page. All reported typos in the text have now been fixed. Thanks, my dears~

˖°𓇼, ฅ՞• •՞ฅ

Coming soon: Retirement Livestream, Gossip, and Pets’ Dreams Make Me Famous ᜊ

Blurb: After retiring in the underworld, Su Jiang came back to life.

When he returned, his world hadn’t changed at all.

He was still the real young master from the original novel, kicked out of his home and forced to scrape by through livestreaming.

Su Jiang had thought he could simply take his enormous inheritance and live a lazy life from then on.

Until

Su Jiang saw the balance in his account: zero yuan.

Only then did he realize he hadn’t arrived three years into the original story, when suggestive livestreams had made him rich!

He’d returned to three years earlier, when no one cared about him and he was penniless!!

Su Jiang: !#￥@%…#

*

Everyone knew Su Jiang was a suggestive streamer.

But when netizens came in hoping to see suggestive content, they watched as Su Jiang had already changed the livestream title to [Late-Night Listening Room].

They even saw all kinds of people in the stream earnestly talking about their pain?

Caller A: “Streamer, I’ve recently been burning joss paper for my dog, who passed away. But for some reason, ever since I started, I keep dreaming that he’s barking furiously at me for no reason. I also dream that something dark keeps chasing him...”

Netizens: What did you do to make yourself feel guilty?

The netizens answered, believing in science.

But Su Jiang spoke up: “Did you burn the paper three days ago?”

Caller A froze. He didn’t know how Su Jiang could know, and could only nod stiffly.

Everyone thought Su Jiang had guessed correctly by chance.

But then Su Jiang said: “He says that the paper figurine you burned that day had its leg torn off by you. Now your dog has to work hard in the underworld to earn money for a house for the two of you, and on top of that, he has to look after the one-legged figurine you sent down. He says he’s having a worse time than the pig next door that lies around all day, so stop making things harder for him.”

Netizens saw the caller’s purchase record for the figurine and went: Huh?

*

Caller B: “Streamer, why do I keep dreaming about a fox I don’t know, crying and asking me in my dreams to dig up its grave? But I don’t know it at all. I only ever made a grave for my dog?”

Netizens guessed: Maybe you’ve been under too much pressure lately?

But Su Jiang said: “You did bury a fox. It says your eyesight is bad and you buried it thinking it was your dog. Now it’s asking if you can get it out of the grave. After all, it’s a fox, not a dog, and it really doesn’t want to eat the bones you keep leaving as offerings at its grave.”

After netizens watched the caller find his dog and celebrate, then change the grave and discover that he really had buried a fox, they all thought: Huh? How did he happen to guess this one right too?!

*

Later on,

Caller C: “Streamer, the little squirrel I used to keep always dreams of me going up a mountain to dig something up. If I don’t go, it gets anxious and keeps gnawing on me. Am I missing something in my body that makes me dream about this...”

Caller C looked completely innocent.

But Su Jiang only gave him a blank look and said: “Your squirrel says your ancestors buried gold on the mountain and want you to dig it up.”

Caller C: That can’t be right. My family’s been dirt-poor for three generations!

Wearing an expression that said it was absolutely impossible, Caller C went up the mountain to dig for treasure.

But then

Clang.

Caller C flipped the dirt with his shovel.

Dazzling gold appeared before everyone’s eyes.

Everyone: Holy crap!?

Where can I pray so my pet will send me a treasure-hunting dream like that too!?

*

Then Su Jiang became famous, and his livestream was packed to bursting.

*

Su Jiang was forced to take in a dog.

He only took it in because the thing was so clingy he couldn’t shake it off.

Su Jiang didn’t think much of it at first.

Until one day, he suddenly realized that the dog acted just like his mortal enemy.

Then, one late night,

Su Jiang suddenly discovered that his dog had turned into a person, with the exact same face as his mortal enemy, and had pinned him down.

The next day, Su Jiang held his aching waist. “...Damn.”

[Reader’s Guide]

① A cold-faced but adorable bottom x a lovestruck, shameless mortal-enemy top

▶❄️ Little Juan’s completed works shelf has ten books. Come visit! ı||ııı||ı|⤾

Theme: Life is not defined by others. What you want will eventually come to you.