Geto's Most Mortifying Moment

Geto closed his eyes, opened them again, and was reborn. And of all the moments to be reborn into, it had to be the iconic scene right before his best friend was sealed. The Brain was startled into stopping mid-motion as it brought out the Prison Realm, confronted by a transparent screen that had suddenly appeared before it. Once it read the words on the screen, it made a face of pure anguish. Memories of the unforgettable trauma it had suffered after taking over the Cursed Spirit Manipulation user's body came flooding back. The screen showed forum posts slowly scrolling by: "Guys, I just caught up on the episode where 5t5 gets sealed! It blew my mind!" "But I honestly didn't expect the strongest sorcerer, 5t5, to get sealed so easily. Was reminiscing about three years of youth in his head really enough to count? That seems a little rushed." "How is it rushed? Did you not read the Hidden Inventory and Premature Death arc? Any straight guy would be shocked to see his dead wife, whom he buried with his own hands, standing right in front of him, wouldn't he?" "Are you sure you know what straight guys are, buddy?!" "Homos, get lost! Don't let your fujoshi eyes see bromance everywhere!" "Wait? Those aren't fujoshi eyes, though! They're straight-guy eyes!" Question marks popped up over every sorcerer's head, especially at the words "dead wife." That was absolutely not a description you could put alongside the famous strongest sorcerer! And it wasn't something you could equate with the most evil curse user, either! Yaga was speechless. No matter how he thought about it, he couldn't recall that problem teacher ever having a girlfriend. Shoko stared at the screen in front of her and, for the first time in ages, wanted to light a cigarette. - Geto, whom the forum had dubbed the "dead wife" and true wife, had no time to pay attention to or carefully read the posts. His attention had been caught by a game-like System bound to him called the [Cursed Spirit Raising Simulator]. The simulator also contained every cursed spirit he'd collected before, including, but not limited to, the special-grade cursed spirit Tamamo-no-Mae. - Much later, the strongest sorcerer, who had turned his "dead wife" into his current wife, shamelessly told the doctor from his class: "They always call Suguru their mother, so naturally that makes me their father." "It's really a problem. Every time I go on a mission, before exorcising a cursed spirit, they kneel down and call me Daddy. It's so touching." "It's totally affecting my efficiency~" The strongest sorcerer laced his fingers behind his head. His expression was supposedly one of complaint, but was really just a boast. The doctor flew into a rage and hurled a jar of research tools soaking in liquid at her former classmate. "I don't want to see you again for six months!" ◤Please Read◢ The pairing is Gojo/Geto, with lots of forum posts and comments. The whole point of this wild idea is to make everyone die of embarrassment. Expect plenty of seriously out-of-character behavior and all kinds of outrageous labels, such as "dead wife" in the blurb. The cursed spirits call Suguru "Mother," which is the Cursed Spirit Raising Simulator's fault. Please keep this in mind before reading. People really do laugh when they're speechless. This blurb has been acting up for over a week, showing nothing but gibberish. I was tearing my hair out and revised it over and over, only to find out it was corrupted because of the Brain's name. Brain, you really deserve to die! Theme: Wherever life takes you, there's always a connection.