Since Everyone's on Their Second Run, Save Yourselves

**The main story is complete. **I thought this would be a huge slash-bait project, but after finishing it, I realized it was about a straight man's tragic attempt to pull down the flag and save himself. (Hey!) **Good news: We found tons of jokes and references in the story! **Bad news: Amid all those jokes, we found a little nonsensical plot! ---- Check out the ongoing story next door: A Sixty-Year-Old Man Charges into the Red and Black Game and Shows Off His Kingly Style ---- ---- Check out my friend's story: Bourbon, Open Up! I'm Your Childhood Friend! ---- Here's the blurb: Doesn't this happen all the time? The rebirth or transmigration setup appears in all kinds of novels and screen adaptations. If a light novel has neither rebirth nor transmigration, can it even be called a light novel? But, Author, don't you think there are a few too many reborn people in this world? 2. Scotch Whisky remembered being on that dark rooftop just a moment ago. His chest had been aching faintly, proof that a bullet had passed through it. But the next moment, he was standing in a familiar park, facing a strange child. He had become little Hiro, whose family was still whole and who had never suffered tragedy. 3. When Matsuda opened his eyes, he was surprised to see that Hagiwara looked much too young, like a middle schooler. They were in a familiar yet unfamiliar junior high school. He and Hagiwara stood outside a first-year classroom, backpacks on their shoulders, apparently heading home after school. He looked up and saw a first-year student holding a chalkboard eraser, staring at him coldly as he deliberately put his head beneath it. Matsuda: "..." 4. If you had a chance to start over, you should definitely try a different job. When Hagiwara opened his eyes again with that thought in mind, he found himself back in a summer when he was eighteen. Little Jinpei sat beside him, looking so shocked you'd think the most unbelievable thing in the world had just happened right before his eyes. The back of his head ached as if someone had hit him with a baseball bat. Strange. He looked back, only to see a junior student holding a baseball bat and wearing the cold expression of a delinquent. In a voice that would have made him a fortune as a voice actor, the student said something brutal: "You're not dead." Hagiwara: "...Was someone just trying to get revenge on me?" 5. There could never be a more useless protagonist in a Detective Conan fanfic. So thought Nise Shenshi. He was 26.5 years old, and the world had just entered the first year of the Conan era. This guy wasn't bound to a forum, didn't need to fight for the spotlight, and, unlike other Detective Conan fanfic protagonists, had neither a tragic past nor a cruel fate. Yes, he had a System, but it was completely useless. Its only purpose was to turn him into a qualified Korean absentee worker. As for the rescue mission in this Detective Conan fanfic? Everyone has started over in a second run, so surely they can handle a little self-rescue. Theme: Give everyone a happy ending.