After Sniping 99 Undercover Agents, I Became a Bleach-Blond Punk

**Funny stories are back. Enjoy a shameless bear's life.

**If I could choose a game again, I definitely wouldn't pick Shoot the Aliens.

**And now the aliens have all become undercover agents.

1.

If he hadn't opened that game back then, maybe his life would still be the same old routine of “work, go home and sleep, work.” After work, he'd lie in bed playing on his phone, scrolling through stupid short videos, and ordering takeout to fill his stomach...

Instead, here he was, on the roof of a skyscraper, expressionless as he sniped an undercover agent in the gale.

Brother Gin, can I get some emotional distress compensation? I think the nerves in my face have frozen solid.

2.

“Hello, you've reached Hate-You Calling. Who would you like us to snipe?”

The person on the other end of the phone spoke like this. His humor was as dry as a British joke: “For Japanese Public Security, press 1. For the FBI, press 2. For MI6, press 3. For the CIA, press 4. For all other services, press 5. For after-sales service, press 666, ”

Rei Furuya, or rather, Toru Amuro, stared expressionlessly at the blond man fishing in the park while holding up a phone and pretending to be a customer-service agent.

“Speak to a real person.”

3.

“If life deceives you, don't be sad,” the blond man said. He gave the rod a hard jerk and reeled in two tiny fish. “Because you'll find out that worse things are still to come. For example, I'll tell you that you've been fishing for four hours and haven't caught a single fish.”

“...”

Shuichi Akai, using the alias Dai Moroboshi, fell silent.

“Your soulmate is fine,” the blond man said as he took his junior's sniper rifle. “So now she's mine.”

4.

“Behind us!”

The upstanding husband sitting on the back of the bosozoku bike had to shout. “Th-there's a traffic cop chasing us!”

“There's a pig flying behind us?”

“There's a traffic cop!” The upstanding husband's voice grew louder, but the wind drowned it out. “Chasing us!”

“Some little chicks?”

“Traffic cop!”

“Cash?!!!”

5.

Kumasaka Yuji sat in the interrogation room eating a pork cutlet rice bowl, wondering how he'd ended up here. Three weeks had passed since his arrest. Public Security officers kept coming and going in front of him, like that blond man with dark skin, or that upstanding husband.

They all came to persuade him to accept their offer and join them.

“...Don't you have anything to say?”

The upstanding husband, whose real name was Hiromitsu Morofushi, said, “You know, if you accept our offer, you can leave here and live the kind of life you want, something like a normal person's life. You'll just have to work overtime now and then.”

“I want to go down to the docks and get some fries.”

Kumasaka Yuji said sincerely.

“Please don't joke around, senpai,” Hiromitsu Morofushi said. “We won't let you out until you agree.”

“I just want to eat some fries.”

“...All right.”

Theme: A shameless life