Assistant Bai Really Does Have a Three-Year-Old

Bai Tan, an obscure online fiction writer, set his sights on Huo Yang, an actor regarded as a legend in the entertainment industry, and decided to use him as inspiration for a character.

After much careful plotting, Bai Tan finally became Huo Yang's personal assistant.

In everyone's eyes, the new assistant was perfect:

Beautiful as a flower and clever as a whip;

He could help Huo Yang break out of his celibate image to give fans what they wanted, and even squeeze himself into an M-size women's outfit to help Huo Yang out of a jam.

Best of all, he was a male assistant, so there was no need to worry about rumors linking him to the star or an unexpected shotgun wedding. The fans could rest easy.

Only Bai Tan knew the truth:

The seemingly refined, elegant, and gentle actor Huo Yang was nothing like the character in Bai Tan's new novel, despite how perfectly they seemed to match. After working like a beast of burden for a month, Bai Tan had made no progress on his outline and hadn't even gotten a proper look from Huo Yang. It was as if nothing in the world was worthy of his attention.

Bai Tan: Should I just leave? I'll find someone else right now.

That night, Huo Yang pinned him down for the Nth time...

Bai Tan trembled beneath the covers. "So refined and elegant?"

People came and went outside the lounge. Inside, on the long table, Bai Tan was so overwhelmed he could barely keep from making a sound...

He clutched his weak, helpless self. "So proper and celibate?"

Bai Tan finally understood: how much can you really trust an entertainer's public image?

Bai Tan fled at seventy miles an hour, taking his precious book of reference materials and his noticeably rounded belly with him, and vanished from Huo Yang's world for good.

-

Everyone knew Huo Yang had spent three years desperately searching for his assistant, as if he had set his heart on him. In all that time, he never hired another one.

Until one day, someone dug up Huo Yang's secret Weibo account, where his frequent posts read like a diary:

[So sweet. My little assistant has a faint milky scent, like an innocent child.]

[Hah, he really does have a three-year-old child.]

The fans had complicated feelings: So much for a male assistant, and so much for being able to rest easy.

The assistant had been thoughtful in every way, so it was only natural that Brother Yang couldn't stop thinking about him. Too bad the assistant had already married someone else, and his kid was old enough to run errands. Brother Yang, give it up.

Huo Yang:

[But the child's eyes and brows look 99 percent like mine.]

Bai Tan hugged the child, sounding defiant despite having no real case.

"Don't make things up. My male features are pretty obvious."

Huo Yang: "It's been three years. You've forgotten everything. Take your clothes off and let me have another look."

Bai Tan trembled:

Refined and elegant?

Proper and celibate?

You beast!

Reader's Guide:

1. This isn't a traditional male-pregnancy story. In this setting, men can't give birth, and the shou's pregnancy happens under special circumstances.

2. No real-life inspirations. Lots of original worldbuilding, so just enjoy it.

3. The characters aren't perfect, and the romance is slow-burn. There's a little angst in the middle, but overall it's very sweet!

4. My writing is bad and my vocabulary is limited. I'll definitely try to improve in my next life.

5. The entire story is already written. Updates every day at 6:00 p.m.

Coming soon: "All right, no more acting cute"

1.

Liu Jingheng was born with a chronic illness. Years of treatment and medication caused his memory to deteriorate, leaving him dull and slow-witted.

At death's door, he transmigrated into a danmei novel as the scheming green-tea side character.

The green tea had done every vile thing imaginable and met the most tragic end possible, making his enemies happy and his loved ones even happier than his enemies.

After six months of running on his old, outdated CPU, Liu Jingheng reached a conclusion:

I don't want to live. I'll fulfill my cannon fodder role as soon as possible. That little box is my final destination.

When he transmigrated, the cannon fodder was in the middle of framing the protagonist shou, hoping to ruin his reputation.

Then came the cannon fodder's classic line: "I treated you like a friend in good faith. Why are you hurting me? You jerk!"

Liu Jingheng clenched his fist, determined: Just do it. Throw me into the Yellow River and let the whole country drink Longjing tea.

But when he opened his mouth, he was shocked to find his brain as blank as goose down. His severely deteriorated tongue twisted as he stammered:

"I sincerely want to hurt you. Why are you treating me like a friend? You ba-ba..."

The protagonist shou: ...?

Why is he suddenly acting cute?

Under the moonlight, the protagonist shou held Liu Jingheng in his arms in the garden and gently coaxed him:

"It doesn't hurt anymore, right? Next time you have a plan, tell me beforehand. I'll cooperate properly."

Behind them, the protagonist gong clenched his fist, as big as a sandbag, until it crackled.

2.

According to the original story, after the protagonist gong watched his heartbroken wife leave, he came up with a plan to use someone else to do his dirty work.

He went to Liu Jingheng and said:

"I want to marry you too, but my uncle is strongly opposed. Go find him and say you have pictures of him in bed, and you'll make him give in. Don't tell him I said so."

As soon as Liu Jingheng heard that, he wanted to die even more.

In the original story, the uncle, Qin Du, was the ultimate villain, hated by everyone. He had lost all humanity and had personally removed his mother's oxygen mask years ago, setting him on the path of rebellion.

To get himself buried as soon as possible, Liu Jingheng clenched his fist twice: The villain is bad, I'm good, and I'll make the whole country drink Longjing tea.

He found Qin Du. The moment he met the man's cold, stern gaze, his old, dusty brain jumbled up the "you, I, he" lines the protagonist gong had taught him, and he stammered:

"If you, you won't marry me, you have to show me your bed pictu..."

Qin Du didn't even look up. His voice was icy.

"Speak properly. If you keep acting cute, go back where you came from."

Liu Jingheng: I can't do that.

After his plan failed, Liu Jingheng followed Qin Du everywhere, determined to return to his original world, and threatened him at every turn.

Practice makes perfect. His lines became more fluent, and he even learned to improvise.

Liu Jingheng threatened, "If you don't agree, I'll stop eating and starve to death."

Qin Du finally raised his eyes with a rare show of mercy. "And then? You want me to feed you?"

Liu Jingheng froze like a duck with its neck caught.

He suddenly couldn't remember if that's what he meant.

Then he heard Qin Du say:

"Sure. Let me see you act cute."

Liu Jingheng: "I can't. Uncle, Uncle, don't torture me, okay?"

Qin Du lifted his spoon. "What a good boy."

Liu Jingheng never gave up on making the whole country drink Longjing tea. Knowing he couldn't trust his own brain, he pulled out the carefully organized "Green Tea Handbook."

Follow it word for word, and he couldn't go wrong.

He found the relevant section in the handbook, turned to the next page, and confidently read out the answer:

"Big brother, I'm wearing transparent little underwear today. Do you want to see? I remember your lover doesn't like wearing transparent little underwear."

Liu Jingheng: ...? These words look so unfamiliar.

Damn hand, turn the pages one at a time!

He was about to read it again when he heard Qin Du's voice, cold and low, with a hint of amusement:

"You're so obedient. Let me see those little panties."

Liu Jingheng: .

Theme: The bigger the dream, the bigger the stage.