How Could I Pass Up This Kind of Quality? [Reborn]

[Coming soon: "The Male Nanny in a Cliche CEO Romance" and "To Write a Celebrity-Circle Story, I Became the Film Emperor's Personal Assistant"] Shi Qing had the backstory of a popular male lead: both parents dead, raised by relatives, and an unhappy childhood. But he got a cannon-fodder role. His aunt called him a jinx, so he obediently made himself invisible, afraid of upsetting her. His uncle groped him and secretly filmed him bathing, but Shi Qing endured it in silence, too cowardly to speak up. His cousin Xiao Rong, also an entertainer, subtly threatened him and tricked him into sleeping with their boss, ruining his reputation. When he finally gathered the courage to confess his feelings to the person he admired, all he got in reply was, "You're not even a tenth as good as Xiao Rong." Everyone mocked him and told him he might as well die. He gave them what they wanted and died on the street. Reborn, Shi Qing recalled his miserable past life... Decency? Kindness? Don't ask. I have none. His uncle's lust flared up again. He sent his aunt away, planning to sneak a look at Shi Qing bathing: Shi Qing invited the foul-mouthed middle-aged man next door, who insulted him every day, to come bathe instead, earning himself a gold star for respecting the elderly and caring for the young. That day, the sounds of a police siren, his aunt's sobbing, and the man's curses all rang out together. Shi Qing: Thanks for asking. It was music to my ears. Tricked into drinking and sleeping with the boss: Shi Qing was delighted. He had to eat dinner that night anyway, so why not go somewhere else for it? His chaotic heart was itching to go wild. The boss was tormented until he wished he were dead. He ran to the bathroom to call for help, then looked up and saw Shi Qing's sinister face peering over the stall. He cried like a 200-jin child. The boss, frothing at the mouth and kowtowing, swore on his life: If I ever fantasize about Teacher Shi again, I'll walk out of here at 200 miles per hour! His younger cousin Xiao Rong secretly changed Shi Qing's variety-show persona, trying to make viewers think he was a foul-mouthed troublemaker: Shi Qing: I get to travel and get paid, and I can insult anyone I don't like. Who wouldn't call that a great deal? On the show, Shi Qing denied everything three times: "I wasn't the one who spread the story about Xiao Rong's dad sneaking a look at a big guy bathing." "I really didn't know Xiao Rong ate a protected animal by mistake. I'm only responsible for running my mouth, not promoting wildlife protection laws." "I don't understand why Xiao Rong is less popular than me, either. I'm just a lunatic, and I don't think like normal people. You can guess why." Xiao Rong's popularity plummeted. After getting nowhere when he asked for help, he finally realized he'd messed with the wrong person. After the variety show, Shi Qing unexpectedly shot to fame. A big-name director offered him the male lead in a revenge drama. While sweet romantic comedies dominated the screens, Shi Qing became famous nationwide thanks to this drama and won Best Actor. Online, people said Shi Qing didn't seem to be acting and suggested he see a psychiatrist. How could a normal person portray a lunatic so convincingly? Shi Qing denied everything three times: "Who's crazy?" "I'm crazy?" "You talk to your godfather like that? I'm heartbroken. I'm quitting the industry and going home to raise pigs." The internet went crazy, too: [Baby, you can't leave! Even the most satisfying revenge story can't compare to you. Anyone who tries to force you out of the industry will find me dead on their doorstep!] Before he was reborn, Shi Qing had met the film emperor Sheng Jinglan a few times. He knew Sheng Jinglan detested and looked down on him, always treating him differently from everyone else. After being reborn, Shi Qing got the chance to film a scene opposite Sheng Jinglan. Before filming officially began, Shi Qing found Sheng Jinglan in the crew's group chat and messaged him to arrange a meeting to discuss the script. But he still hadn't gotten a reply by the next day. Shi Qing's fingers flew over the keyboard as he sent him a string of messages: [You reply in the group chat but ignore my private messages? Are group messages more important than me? You're the only person in the whole group I'm interested in. You know that, right?] Later, on set. Whenever the crew praised the chemistry between the male and female leads on camera, they had no idea the male lead had the male supporting actor pinned against the conference table, saying with utter confidence: "I only read your messages, and you're only allowed to look at me." That night, Shi Qing lay under Sheng Jinglan's bed with just his head sticking out, staring straight at him. "Fine. I'll give you what you want." Coming Soon 1: "The Male Nanny in a Cliche CEO Romance" Qiao You was a professional storyteller. What he dreaded most was when investors asked him to give advice on a CEO romance they'd adapted for promotional purposes. His headache hit MAX after a night spent silently roasting a certain danmei CEO novel. The next day, he transmigrated into it. Transmigrating into a book wasn't scary. The scary part was becoming the male nanny in the CEO's household. In the original story, he was a nameless background character, but one who was indispensable throughout the whole plot. The protagonist Shou and the CEO had a fight, and the Shou refused to eat. The furious CEO flipped the dining table and gave an order: The nanny stayed up until three in the morning, diligently working the wok in the kitchen and sweating buckets, all to coax the CEO's precious wife into eating a hot meal. The protagonist Shou got into a fight with the CEO and locked himself in his room. The CEO gave an order: The nanny followed him around outside the door, begging desperately and banging his head against the ground. The protagonist Shou caught the CEO acting intimately with someone else and kissing them. Heartbroken, he packed his things and left. The CEO ordered, "Leave him alone." The person dragged out in the middle of the night to look for him was still the nanny. The protagonist Shou was in an accident and fell into a coma. The CEO shouted furiously, eyes bloodshot, and gave an order: If his precious wife didn't wake up, then not only the doctor but the nanny would be buried with him. Qiao You: Damn, even after transmigrating into a book, I have to work 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., six days a week? And risk my life, too? So what if I'm a nanny? Nannies are people, too. You dare flip the table? I'll replace it with marble. Flip it. Whoever can't do it is impotent. You dare lock yourself in your room? I'll rip out the door and the windows. No one gets to close their door tonight. You dare get intimate with someone else? I'll shove a broom in the CEO's mouth. And don't ask why the protagonist Shou thinks the CEO's mouth tastes like slop. You dare make the nanny die with you? I'll fake a heart attack and collapse on the spot, then extort enough money to bankrupt the CEO. Qiao You, professional storyteller: In an age when satisfying stories are all the rage, who still dares write old-fashioned CEO romances? - A man who never appeared in the original story came to the house. He was breathtakingly handsome, with an elegant, moonlit air, like an untouchable flower high on a mountain. Qiao You, a looks-obsessed man who had been about to hand in his resignation: I'm not sure. Let's wait and see. When he asked around, all anyone said was that the man was the "butler." Qiao You thought to himself, as expected of a CEO romance. Even the butler is top quality. He made the first move and told the man: "A butler and a nanny are a match made to last forever." One day, the man called the CEO over. The CEO respectfully called him Uncle and shed his usual arrogance, becoming as obedient as a child as he reported how he'd temporarily managed the company during the man's business trip. Then the man asked the CEO: "Why does the new nanny keep calling me the butler?" The CEO pondered for a moment, then smiled respectfully: "The one who manages the family business is called the butler." Later, to perfectly fit the role of a butler, the man asked Qiao You for advice on how to do the job well. Qiao You eagerly taught him: "Remember the three laws of butlers." 1. The young master hasn't smiled like this in a long time. 2. This is the first time the young master has brought someone home. 3. When picking up the drunk young master, get out of the car halfway and admire the scenery. While the young master and his darling are making out in the car, you should voluntarily gouge your eyes out. The man smiled with gentle elegance and leaned toward Qiao You, his voice low. "So, if the butler wants to get intimate with the nanny, should the young master gouge his eyes out, too?" Qiao You: ? I suppose I wouldn't mind. What a bold butler. He understands the essence of a satisfying story. I'm in love. Coming Soon 2: "To Write a Celebrity-Circle Story, I Became the Film Emperor's Personal Assistant" Blurb: Bai Tan used to be an obscure author. The comment he received most often was: "This makes no sense. It's unrealistic." But he was stubborn. To write novels in all sorts of genres, he got a counseling certificate and a chef's certificate, and took part in humanitarian work. He had graduated with a degree in Chinese language and literature, but to write an art-themed novel, he even sold a painting for 100,000 yuan. He stared at the outline for his next celebrity-circle novel, lost in thought. To make the story more realistic, Bai Tan decided to put himself in the thick of things. First, he needed a model for a refined, elegant film emperor. After begging and pleading with everyone he could think of, he got the chance to work as the film emperor's personal assistant. Only after working with him did Bai Tan realize that entertainers had two faces. The film emperor's cold and aloof personality was worlds apart from the character he'd imagined for his male lead. Except for the part where he wanted to sleep with Bai Tan three times a night. Bai Tan: Please spare me. Half a year later, Bai Tan's research experience came to an honorable end. Clutching his precious notebook of reference material and his trembling, weak legs, he fled at top speed. From then on, he vanished from the film emperor's world without a trace. When his new novel was published, it unexpectedly became a hit. Readers marveled that the details in Bai Tan's writing seemed as if he'd experienced them himself. Readers assumed Bai Tan would ride this wave of popularity and keep producing delicious stories. But to their surprise, he disappeared completely from public view under a new name. Even his editor couldn't find him. As readers waited eagerly, wept in sorrow, and sealed their beloved author's memory away as they moved on to new favorites... Three years later, Bai Tan reappeared with a new novel. This time, it was a child-rearing story. Perhaps the height of his popularity had passed, because the new novel initially attracted little attention. Then one highly liked comment pushed him and his novel into the spotlight. The film emperor tagged himself and left a comment: [Finally caught you. You ran off with my son for three years. Where do you think you can hide this time?] Bai Tan: Please spare me. Readers: ?! He was gathering material and ended up with the real deal! More, more! We want more from our favorite author! Wait! Isn't this author a man? Men can have children, too?! Theme: Never tolerate or condone injustice in society. Stand firmly against it.