I Wasn't Pouting, That's Exactly What the Original Says!

Coming Soon: You Didn’t Answer the Phone. Did You Make Up with Your Husband? 1. Liu Jingheng was born with a chronic illness. Years of treatment and medication caused his memory to deteriorate, leaving him dull and slow to react. At death’s door, he transmigrated into a danmei novel as a cannon-fodder green tea schemer. This character did every vile thing imaginable and met a miserable end, much to the delight of his enemies and even greater delight of his loved ones. After half a year of sluggish mental processing, Liu Jingheng reached a conclusion: I don’t want to live. I’ll finish my cannon-fodder role as soon as possible. That little box is where I belong. When he arrived, the cannon fodder was in the middle of framing the protagonist shou, hoping to ruin his reputation. Then came the classic cannon-fodder line: “I sincerely treated you as a friend. Why did you hurt me? You villain!” Liu Jingheng clenched his fist with resolve. Just do it. Throw me in the Yellow River and let the whole country have some Longjing tea. But when he opened his mouth, he was shocked to find that his brain was as blank as a feather. His severely degraded tongue was twisted too, and he stammered: “I sincerely wanted to hurt you. Why did you treat me as a friend? You, you...” The protagonist shou: ...? Why was he suddenly acting cute? Under the moonlight, the protagonist shou held Liu Jingheng in his arms in the garden and gently comforted him: “It doesn’t hurt anymore, does it? Next time you have a plan, tell me in advance. I’ll cooperate properly.” Behind the two of them, the protagonist gong’s fists clenched with a crackle. 2. According to the original story, when the protagonist gong saw his heartbroken wife leave, he came up with a plan to have someone else do his dirty work. He sought out Liu Jingheng and said: “I want to marry you too, but my uncle is firmly opposed. Go to him and say you have photos of him in bed, and threaten to make him give in. Don’t tell him I said that.” When Liu Jingheng heard that, he wanted to die even more. In the original story, his uncle, Qin Du, was the ultimate villain, hated by everyone. He had lost all humanity, and his path to rebellion began when he personally removed his mother’s oxygen mask. To be laid to rest as soon as possible, Liu Jingheng clenched his fist twice: The villain is bad, I’m good. I’ll let the whole country have some Longjing tea. He found Qin Du. The moment their eyes met, Liu Jingheng’s long-rusty brain failed to work properly, and he muddled up the “you, me, and him” lines the protagonist gong had taught him. He stammered: “If you, if you don’t marry me, you have to let me see your bed photos...” Qin Du didn’t even look up. His voice was icy. “Speak properly. If you act cute again, go back where you came from.” Liu Jingheng: I’m not, quack. After his plan failed, Liu Jingheng followed Qin Du around every day, hoping to get back to his original world. Every time he opened his mouth, he threatened him. Practice makes perfect. He grew more fluent with his lines and even learned to improvise. Liu Jingheng threatened him: “If you don’t agree, I won’t eat. I’ll starve to death.” Qin Du finally deigned to look up. “And then? You want me to feed you?” Liu Jingheng froze like a duck with its neck caught. He suddenly couldn’t remember. Was that what he meant? Then Qin Du continued: “Sure. Let me see you act cute.” Liu Jingheng: ? “I don’t know how. Uncle, don’t torture me, okay?” Qin Du raised his spoon. “Good boy.” Liu Jingheng never gave up on letting the whole country have Longjing tea. Knowing he couldn’t trust his own brain, he pulled out the carefully compiled Green Tea Handbook. If he read straight from it, he couldn’t go wrong. He found the relevant question in the handbook, turned to the next page, and confidently read the answer aloud: “Big brother, I’m wearing transparent little lace underwear today. Do you want to see? I remember your lover doesn’t like wearing transparent little lace underwear.” Liu Jingheng: ...? What strange words. Stupid hand, the book needs to be turned one page at a time! He was about to read it again when Qin Du’s voice across from him came, low and cool, with a hint of amusement: “So obedient. Let me see what pattern the lace is.” Liu Jingheng: . Reader’s Guide: 1. The shou has memory loss and mild cognitive impairment due to long-term medication and treatment, as well as oxygen deprivation during surgery. Sometimes he has trouble speaking clearly. 2. He’s adored by everyone except the original-story gong. 3. The gong is the villain. He only loves the shou; everyone else is trash to him. 4. This story is absurd and illogical. The author has a limited vocabulary and poor writing skills. It’s too late to hit me now, but I’ll definitely work harder in my next life! Theme: Equality first, then love.