The Lost Cat in the Human World

[Completed. The chibi art for the completion giveaway was kindly provided by artist LIYINYINLING. If you have any questions, message lof @ CatCatTenYuanPerJin / wb @ MoonlitMeowHead. For physical prizes, please make sure to fill in your address according to the rules. A Black-Time, Boss, or White-Dazai standee or keychain will be sent at random. You can also leave me a message to specify which one you want. Prizes are being sent out gradually.]

[I asked customer service, and they currently can't ship to Shanghai. I sent the readers in Shanghai red packets as compensation qaq]

Coming soon: "The Succubus's Sickly Beauty Secret Identity" and "After All My Secret Identities Got Bad Ends, I Was Forced to Mourn Myself." Their blurbs are at the very bottom~

[Blurb]

What if No Longer Human turned into a cat?

The nullification ability No Longer Human suddenly awakened self-awareness. It even broke away from its host and became an independent being.

Sounds great.

But... it only turned into a cat.

What can a cat do?

Aside from knocking over wineglasses and files to become a desktop-cleaning expert, stepping on people's chests in the middle of the night and giving them nightmares, and being spoiled in countless people's arms despite acting like a little menace, what else can it do?

The cat doesn't know. The cat is very confused.

The cat decides to find itself a grand ambition.

The Bandage Guy says this is giving him a headache. His ability has suddenly stopped obeying him.

He never expected it to turn into a cat that would use its little meow-meow fists on him.

What use is a cat besides being cute? Keeping one is nothing but trouble.

But though he complains, he and the cat spend a long time constantly getting into tussles.

Until one day, when he returns from a leisurely business trip, a crowd suddenly surrounds him and stares intently.

"Your cat turned into a person... and usurped the Mafia boss's seat!"

The Bandage Guy: ???

"He says he wants to liberate all the ability users in the world."

"He also says you have to spend the night with him."

#No Longer Human Has Gone Crazy#

Mini-scene:

Battle in progress

"Rashomon!" "Corruption!"

A certain Dazai falls into thought, then pulls a cat out of his pocket and tosses it out. "Look, a cat!"

[Reading notes]

* The pairing is the cat and Dazai. The top and bottom are in a Schrodinger state, meaning I haven't decided who will be the bottom yet...

* The cat will take human form later. At first, it's a real cat.

* Pure Bungo Stray Dogs, silly fun and a sweet little treat. Please forgive any out-of-character moments. Please bookmark, comment, and do all the things. Mwah.

[Coming soon]

"After All My Secret Identities Got Bad Ends, I Was Forced to Mourn Myself"

Just as Nishinomiya Tsukiyo, a graduate of the secret-identity System, is ready to retire after accomplishing his mission, the System suddenly disappears. The secret identities he played as friends and family start blowing their covers one after another and dying unexpectedly. And he still has to take care of their funerals as their "friend or family member." Faced with countless pitying and affectionate gazes...

Nishinomiya Tsukiyo closes his eyes.

Funeral, funeral, funeral.

He steels himself and mourns himself.

--

When news that his "older brother," a young genius magician, has died unexpectedly makes headlines across Japan, Nishinomiya Tsukiyo is squeezed between fans and reporters, listening to countless heartfelt tributes and wishing he could dig himself a three-bedroom apartment.

His childhood friend looks grave. "There are too many suspicious details. There may be a conspiracy."

Nishinomiya Tsukiyo: Kaito, get a grip! This secret identity really did die by accident!

When his "best friend," an editor, is shot dead in front of everyone, Nishinomiya Tsukiyo is already numb. He expertly retrieves and buries the body, expertly fake-cries with onions, and expertly babbles at everyone.

Odasaku, Natsume-sensei, and a group of colleagues from the writing world solemnly hand him a handkerchief. "We failed to protect him."

Nishinomiya Tsukiyo, expressionless: No, I'm a jinx.

When the boss secret identity from the liquor organization, unused for a long time, suddenly drops dead, Nishinomiya Tsukiyo's tears are already ready to fall...

He pauses.

Ahhhhh, this secret identity absolutely, absolutely cannot die!

--

After all his "friends and family" finally die sudden deaths, Nishinomiya Tsukiyo breathes a sigh of relief and looks at a certain bandage-storage machine. "Why haven't you broken up with me yet?"

Dazai, with stars in his eyes: "When will the jinx buff finally come for me?"

Tsukiyo: It's getting cold. We should break up.

#Do You Love Me or My Buff#

--

Mini-scene:

While relaxing, Nishinomiya Tsukiyo accidentally reveals a few habits that only his secret identities have. He wails inwardly that he's about to be found out, he's about to be found out...

But then:

"Sob, Tsukiyo-kun has had it so hard. He's become just like them..."

Nishinomiya Tsukiyo: ???

Blurb for "The Succubus's Sickly Beauty Secret Identity":

A succubus is bound to a System and forced to play an NPC in an infinite-flow game.

That would be bad enough, but why... does a young succubus overflowing with magic have to play roles that are all sickly?

--

[Scene One]

In a magnificent church, a cool and saintly priest holds a sacred text and tends to the sick. As the story progresses, blood seeps through his immaculate white robes, but he merely furrows his brow and continues using his last ounce of strength to help the players.

Player: "Sob, the priest suffering from being corrupted by darkness is so hot, so moving. Why are my tears sliding down from the corners of my mouth... Who doesn't love a fragile, broken male mom?"

The succubus struggles to keep a cool expression. Spreading holy light, pretending to be frail, and only being able to look but not touch... The life of a demon is so hard it's about to shatter.

[Scene Two]

A delicate, fragile little merman is imprisoned in a lavish attic. The house owner's evil experiments have turned his tail into a pair of partly crippled legs that can't move. Even so, his crystal-bright, vacant blue eyes and waterfall of silver hair draw the attention of countless players.

Their mission is to rescue him. "Awooo, the main storyline is actually about winning the beauty's heart!"

After waiting three minutes, the succubus says: System... before those useless players get up here, can I go play with the boss next door?

[Scene Three]

Loving the job he's in, the succubus finally gets promoted from a low-level NPC to a high-level NPC and gains the ability to set the plot.

The System assigns him a mission.

A few minutes later...

[Please! Don't add so many tentacles!]

--

A succubus has three rules for life:

1. Eat properly.

2. Find a partner properly.

3. Ideally, find a partner while eating.

"System, I misunderstood you," the succubus says earnestly. "So infinite-flow means infinite food."

System: [...]

#Sickly, Unhinged Boss Development Plan Fails Spectacularly#

Theme: Even ordinary daily life can be warm and comforting. Life can always spiral upward.