My Inner Voice Protects Hot Characters' Dignity

[This is a comedy fic, so please read the blurb and reading guide before you start!] Blurb: I transmigrated into a world made up of three BL fanfics. To get home, I had to play a nameless passerby and keep the buggy plots moving smoothly until they reached their endings. After seeing the titles and summaries of the three novels, I was utterly shocked. But if I wanted to get home, I had no choice but to swallow my pride, help evil triumph, and see these brain-melting plots through to the end. * Dazai, Gojo, and Amuro woke up one day to find the world had suddenly changed. Everyone they knew had gone crazy, loving them to the point of obsession and coveting their asses. Just then, a low-key passerby beside them had a thought bubble slowly rise above their head... Dazai's Crystal Maiden Heart On the top floor of the Port Mafia building, Dazai stood facing the wind, his frail figure swaying precariously in the cold. [Next, Dazai should get his chin grabbed by Chuuya, who flies up here, then get harshly scolded for being a two-timer. After that, they'll tumble together and have an open-air hookup. Hmm... I'll leave once he gets up here!] Seeing the enormous thought bubble above a minion behind him and the sticky little slug flying toward him at high speed, Armed Detective Agency Dazai's eyes shook with shock. He'd just been wondering if some massive conspiracy was afoot. The Domineering Oil Baron Falls for Me I disguised myself as a taste tester and cheerfully handed Gojo a handful of strange candies. [I wonder if this one will work.] [We can't mess up important lines like, "Suguru, an angel once visited Satoru's belly."] Seeing one thought bubble after another above the taste tester's head, Jujutsu High Gojo shoved all the candy into the mouth of a besotted-looking Geto beside him. Then he said righteously, "I've given up sugar lately!" Cold-Hearted Undercover Agent: The Fated Calamity At long last, I'd escaped Dazai and Gojo's clutches, and I hurried toward the mall. [As long as he says, "Even if you get my body, you'll never get my heart!" in the fitting room, this plot point will be done!] After seeing the thought bubble float by, a certain dark-skinned master of odd jobs dragged innocent, passing me into a cramped fitting room. Dazai and Gojo, who had chased after me, squeezed in too. Me, suddenly sandwiched between two men: !??? * ...I thought the OOC characters in fanfics would be just as ridiculous as their authors, but I never expected everything to gradually run wild and turn into a complete farce. I also somehow got caught in a love-triangle situation, with the protagonists of all three fanfics clinging to me and following me everywhere. I couldn't get away. With Armed Detective Agency Dazai in my left hand, undercover Rei in my right, and Jujutsu High Gojo hanging off my back, I sighed heavily. Sigh, I'm carrying a weight no one my age should have to bear. (That's a double entendre.) Reading Guide: * There is plenty of character-bashing, old-school literature humor, and dated fanfiction tropes. If you can't handle that, run! * The story is told in third person. * At the beginning, the characters in the OOC fanfics, aside from the three mentioned in the blurb, are not from the original works. * There are original literary characters. * This story will send every character flying equally. * Hehe. ☆ Coming soon: Little Kitty, Can You Summon an Army of the Undead? ↓↓↓ Motemo was a humble little mage. After a magical accident, he appeared out of nowhere in a completely unfamiliar place. Gazing at the towering iron towers he'd never seen before, and the huge metal monsters rumbling through the streets, Motemo immediately used the magic he was best at: summoning the undead. A man who introduced himself as "Hyperion, the Ancient Dragon King" stepped out of the summoning circle. The previous second, he was saying something about refusing to become a necromancer's servant. The next, he fell silent. "The one who summoned me... is a cat?" The tall, muscular man in magnificent robes laden with jewels wore a complicated expression. Motemo proudly puffed out his fluffy white chest. So what if I'm a cat? Does that mean I can't summon an army of the undead? I'm a kitty with a chance to become the greatest and most evil necromancer in history! With the help of his undead servants, Motemo's life in the new world gradually became smooth sailing. Want something tasty? Send a servant. Want a comfortable place to live? Send a servant. Want to deal with some furry little nuisances? Send a servant for that, too. What, you think Hyperion might get overwhelmed if he's the only one doing all the work? Easy. I'll just summon some more. The Elf King had died long ago in the War of the Gods. Tragically summoned back from the dead by a necromancer, he had planned to resist to the bitter end. But now, watching a pile of familiar faces feed the cat, brush its fur, and fan it to keep it cool, he slowly formed a question mark. Hyperion, who had only looked away for a moment before discovering that another servant had appeared, and that it was his old nemesis, gritted his teeth. "Isn't having me enough? How many more are you going to summon?!" The long-lived races, drawn by the tremendous burst of magic that suddenly erupted above X City, gazed at Motemo with tears in their eyes. After centuries of infertility, they had finally seen a living magical creature cub again! It was a blessing from the heavens! But before they could use every trick in the book to coax Motemo into coming home with them, they saw... "My king?!" X N The Red Dragon Hyperion, king of the dragons, had been a terrifying name in life: brutal, cold-hearted, and always spoiling for a fight. At his vassals' cries, he glanced at them indifferently, then lowered his head to secretly try to sniff the cat again. A merciless flurry of kitty punches stopped him. The long-lived beings of every race, who had seen a ghost in every sense of the word, were horrified. Only then did Motemo belatedly learn from them that he hadn't come to another world, but to a thousand years in the future, after magic had been lost. No matter. It was high time the people of this era witnessed the undead disaster led by the greatest necromancer in history! Motemo bared his little evil fangs. Mini-scene: Motemo curiously examined his hands and feet, now human. Suddenly, the cat ears atop his head twitched sharply, and he glanced back, alert. Hyperion was standing silently behind him. He'd somehow crept very close, his enormous shadow engulfing Motemo. Motemo planted a hand on Hyperion's soft, full pectoral muscles and pushed him back, issuing a stern warning: "Dragon, even if I've turned into a weak human, don't think you can lick me!" Feeling the touch against his chest, Hyperion's throat bobbed involuntarily. "Of course... Of course." As he spoke, his eyes remained fixed on the tail swaying between Motemo's bare cheeks. Before, he'd only wanted to overthrow the gods, rule the world, and enjoy that supreme power all to himself. But now... He wanted to be this cat's top cat, too. (PS: In the world of cats, only cats of higher status are allowed to lick cats of lower status.) [Beloved Cat Master Bottom X Former Overlord of the Old Era, Red Dragon Servant Top] ** Theme: No matter how many times you fail, face life with hope.