No Hopeless Romantics!

[Main story complete]

[Next, I'm writing the neighboring story, Beware Becoming a Toy for a Flirt. People really do need to fall in love sometimes.]

Hilarious | First-person | Protagonist is mentally stable

Nagashima Rin died.

But Nagashima Rin was revived after binding with a System!

Woohoo, woohoo!

The System not only awakened Nagashima Rin's supernatural ability, it also said it would help him find a partner and achieve happiness!

Nagashima Rin: But I think being single is pretty great

System: Come forth, supernatural ability! Lovestruck Brain!

Nagashima Rin: ???

The ability activated. Thinking he was about to grow a lovestruck brain, Nagashima Rin clutched his head in agony, only to discover sparkling pink hearts flying into the heads of innocent passersby.

-

Teacher Gojo, with a sudden shower of rose petals in the background:

"I can never beat you at Red Light, Green Light, because whenever I look into your eyes, my heart skips a beat."

Nagashima Rin immediately pulled out sunglasses. "Hello, I was born without eyes."

He came across an elegant Mafia boss, gravely wounded and collapsed on a street corner at night.

Nagashima Rin sprinted straight into the supermarket next door. "Haha, huge sale tonight! Let's go, let's go!"

He was eating out when his fingertips accidentally touched those of a handsome blond man with dark skin. Their eyes met, and it was love at first sight.

Nagashima Rin pulled out a fake middle-school ID. "Hello, I'm a student. Can I get a discount?"

And...

Nagashima Rin: Stop, stop! That's enough!

System (hands on hips): With me around, no one gets to be a block of wood!

Nagashima Rin: There must still be some normal people in this world! Isn't that right, my best friend?

His best friend, who had suddenly gotten drunk after one sip of alcohol: That's right, that's right.

Nagashima Rin (weeping with joy) (with his best friend holding him around the waist): No Longer Human! My last refuge!

Best friend: That's right, that's right.

#Emergency! Can studying medicine cure a lovestruck brain?#

#When I'm rich, I'm going to remove every lovestruck brain in the world!#

Next story:

Beware Becoming a Toy for a Flirt

Angst||Marriage First, Love Later||Old-School||OOC!!

After escaping the Prison Realm, Gojo Satoru's personality grew so vile that everyone trembled at the mention of him.

To spite those old fossils, he waved his hand and casually picked an old man as his arranged-marriage partner.

They acted like a loving couple in public, but behind closed doors he tormented his unfortunate husband day and night, taking pleasure in his shame and defiance.

Until one day, his husband died.

Reborn, Gojo Satoru came to his senses and decided to become a good person.

He would avenge his husband and never interfere in his life again.

But he discovered that his illness of tormenting his husband seemed to be getting worse and worse in this life.

-

Gojo Satoru: What if someone imprisoned you, hurt you, humiliated you, and forced you to do things you didn't want to do?

: Pretend to obey so you can lower his guard, then find a way to escape and wait for a chance to kill him.

Gojo Satoru: Then under what circumstances would you not only refuse to obey, but fight back with all your might, refuse to yield even at the cost of your life, and never give up?

: Maybe... when playing some strange kinky game with that person?

Reborn in a single moment, with everything turned upside down, Gojo Satoru was bewildered.

Could this person, ███, possibly be trying to lure him in?

Could someone really bite the same bait in both lifetimes?

Surely not, right?

*

Keywords: industrial saccharine, OOC, marriage first love later, Gojo Satoru reborn.

This is very much not for everyone. Please read with care. If you don't like it, feel free to move on. Please don't flame me, thank you!

Theme: Stay clear-headed and rational in everything you do. Acting on impulse will only leave you with regrets.