Why Is the Immortal Venerable Trembling? [Book Transmigration]

[Nonsensical comedy, a light dose of delusion-fueled misinterpretation. New novel, The Sickly Beauty Refuses to Be a Proper Stand-In, is now available!] Fu Nianchi transmigrates into a melodramatic xianxia novel. He is a spoiled young master who is good for nothing except his handsome face, and he is about to be married off to Prince Ye Canglan, who is on the verge of kicking the bucket. But Fu Nianchi knows that while Ye Canglan seems to be a sickly invalid who coughs up blood every three steps, he is actually the immortal Venerable Lu Mu, a radiant and noble figure from the Ninth Heaven, who has descended to the mortal realm to undergo a tribulation. There is only one month left before Fu Nianchi gets killed off as a disposable character. Fu Nianchi watches his every move and nervously cares for the gravely ill Ye Canglan, terrified that the slightest displeasure will make the other man raise a hand and kill him. Fu Nianchi is wiping Ye Canglan down when he accidentally knocks over the washbasin, spilling hot water all over the immortal Venerable in bed. Fu Nianchi's mind goes blank: I'm done for! I'm going to die! But Ye Canglan climbs out of bed, coughing blood as he tidies the bedding. "No, you don't have to do this. Did you burn your hand? Go get some proper rest. Don't worry about whether I live or die." Fu Nianchi: ? Dude, aren't you an immortal Venerable? Why are you trembling in front of me? 2. One day, Fu Nianchi pushes open the door. There he sees the radiant immortal Venerable rolling around on the bed, muttering, "Today is the worst day yet for my phone addiction. I lie in bed desperately chanting the Great Compassion Mantra, slapping myself until I cry. I really feel like I've been possessed. I'm so lonely in this sick world without phones. I'm really so lonely..." Then he turns his head and sees Fu Nianchi standing frozen by the door. Ye Canglan: … Fu Nianchi: … Ye Canglan's face turns extremely horrified. He clutches his head and falls to his knees. "I'm sorry! I didn't say anything! Please don't kill me!" Fu Nianchi: "Huh???" 3. Fu Nianchi: "So I'm the protagonist of your book?" Ye Canglan nods. "That's right. You're the sinner in a xianxia world who wields arcane magic. In the future, you'll take up your wand and challenge all of the Ninth Heaven, gather the spiritual energy of the mountains and rivers to open a gate to another world, and unleash a horde of magical beasts that will destroy the Heavenly Dao." #Everyone thinks I can destroy the world, but all I can do is Avada Kedavra.# One of us transmigrated into a xianxia novel, and the other into a Western fantasy novel. Magic and cultivation together? Sounds great. Turns out we're both overpowered protagonists. #Think we can use magic and immortal power to make a phone?# [Reading Notice] The protagonist is the universe's number one powerhouse. Expect all sorts of nonsensical situations. Just laugh and enjoy! A chaotic mix of cultivation, Western fantasy, and Lovecraftian horror. Delusion-fueled misinterpretation: the protagonist's unintentional actions get endlessly imagined as something incredibly impressive. That's more or less what it means. Please be civil in the comments. Mwah! Coming soon: The Sickly Beauty Refuses to Be a Proper Stand-In [Book Transmigration], a switch-top, scum-punishing story. Please add it to your reading list! Wen Suning is frail and chronically ill, his refined features aloof. The blood at the corner of his lips looks like a plum blossom blooming in the snow, captivating all who see him. Yet this very beauty is kept in a gilded cage by Qin Mu as a stand-in. When Qin Mu's white moonlight returns from abroad, he dumps Wen Suning without hesitation, telling him they will never have to see each other again. He watches coldly as Wen Suning looks like an abandoned cat, all skin and bones in the pouring rain, weeping until he nearly faints. Qin Mu turns and leaves without a backward glance, never seeing Wen Suning slowly straighten up. The sickly beauty wipes the rain from his face. His eyes are completely dry; in fact, his stomach hurts a little from laughing so hard behind his hands. A month later, Qin Mu sees Wen Suning again in a bar. His once-frail bedmate is no longer sad. Smiling, he caresses a young man's cheek and carelessly pours liquor over the man's chest. He takes a peeled rose grape into his mouth. Beneath the colorful lights, a rare flush colors his pale cheeks, making him look like a devil who could captivate anyone. The handsome young man kneels before him, looking up like the most devout of knights and begging for a kiss as his reward. Only then does Qin Mu learn that over the past few months, Wen Suning has been using the money he gave him to keep a whole pack of young hunks outside the house. When Qin Mu wasn't home, Wen Suning had been living like a god. Wait a minute! Weren't you so sick you couldn't even get out of bed?!?! The scumbag attack top grips his white moonlight's hand so hard it hurts. Meanwhile, on the other side... Wen Suning: Qin Mu? Who? Don't know him. Oh, you mean that stupid, loaded man-child? #I transmigrated into a melodramatic novel about physical and emotional abuse, where the scumbag gets his comeuppance# #But sorry, I'm not exactly a proper stand-in# Theme: Happiness must be fought for with your own hands.