I'm a Humanoid Calamity, and I Turned Myself In!

[The author is a corporate drone, pumping themself up for work. I'll try to update daily~] #What do you do when you wake up as a humanoid natural disaster?# Xu Xunge: Obviously, cling to the biggest thigh around! . Reality keeps warping. Terrifying, uncanny mirror worlds invade at breakneck speed, monstrous creatures hunt greedily, and disasters erupt one after another. Xu Xunge is the source of it all. In short: a humanoid natural disaster. Once he'd figured out what was going on, Xu Xunge immediately clung to the powerful backer who came rushing over after hearing the news. With the two of us working together, how could things not go well? From now on, he's officially on the government payroll. But the System is kind of a rip-off. Still, it doesn't matter. He's got powerful connections. Pay to level up? His approved funding application is worth tens of millions, and he even gets precious minerals to use! Hone his cooking skills? More than a dozen masters of traditional Chinese banquet cuisine are ready to teach him hands-on! Make a name for himself? The whole world builds a touring train together, helping him bring his dishes to every corner of the globe! . System: ...So you've gotten addicted to milking us for all we're worth, huh?! (throws a fit) . The mysterious touring train restaurant links the world together. They say that Chef Xu, from Huaguo, can make dishes that cleanse all mutations. Passenger 1: Ever since I ate the chef's cold-dressed sandworm tendrils, that creepy eyeball with teeth embedded in it at my bedside finally disappeared. I feel completely refreshed. I even tore apart a giant hornet bear that broke into my house with my bare hands. Passenger 2: The chef's Wellington dragon steak is absolutely delicious. It was so spicy that I breathed fire and burned the parasites off my family. They won't be itching and hurting anymore. Passenger 3: If you ask me, the best dish is stir-fried ship octopus. I ate it and dove all the way to the Mariana Trench, where I beat the stuffing out of a Mi's Laya hydra. Too bad I couldn't bring one back for the chef to use as an ingredient. Xu Xunge: After all... A reality warper who can't chop down an abyssal beast in one stroke isn't a proper chef. I personally dealt with every one of these bizarre ingredients. Who knew that at first, he just wanted to survive? or2 A Lovecraftian food story about fighting for ingredients, cooking, and exploring. Blurb saved on 21.8.25, screenshot taken. My best friend's soon-to-be-completed story, Inheriting the Safe House in an Infinite Game, by Mao Chaofan. It's got a lot of chapters now! Go check it out! Please bookmark my next story, Taming Fuzzy Furballs in the Stars! Beast tamer Xi Yunhuai transmigrates to an unknown planet. The place is wild and seemingly lifeless. Then he discovers a bunch of strange, fluffy creatures living miserable, ferocious lives. The gravely wounded gray wolf tries to make a meal of him. Its once-fluffy fur is matted with old blood, filthy beyond belief. The dying feathered serpent opens its scarlet eyes. Large patches of discolored feathers have fallen off, revealing rotting flesh beneath its scales. The blind lynx snarls a warning. The fur on its ear tips is tangled, and pus has stained its white ruff and paws. They watch him like predators, ready to pounce on Xi Yunhuai and kill him at any moment. Xi Yunhuai: S-so... cute! No one can resist fluffy creatures! Xi Yunhuai picks up his old trade as a beast tamer and declares this with a whip in hand. . The Aust Empire is enduring its darkest period in centuries. Three years ago, in a desperate battle against alien insectoids, the Empire's finest warriors lost their spirit forms in an accident. Death follows them like a shadow, and the pain of their missing souls never leaves them. They are agitated. They lose control. They are on the brink of collapse. Just as they believe they will suffer until they die, they feel their spirit forms again for the first time in years. The shiver of a gentle touch, the joy of wanting to roll around, the urge to purr: all of it fills their minds. They follow the sensation to the battlefield of old, only to find that flowers have blossomed in the once-barren wasteland. A strange young man holds a whip, while the fiercest spirit forms, the ones that once killed countless aliens, lie docilely at his feet. Some roll over and expose their bellies, purring as they beg to be petted. Claws and fangs stained with blood are sheathed for you. Fierce eyes shine softly because of you. At the edge of the stars, you tame our savage souls. Theme: Earth is the shared home of all living things. Protecting biodiversity means protecting humanity.