Give Me a Scumbag!

My childhood friend got dumped by a scumbag. He took it hard, cried for months, and fell into depression. Straight guy Bai Junyan couldn’t take it anymore, so he picked a day and came up with an elaborate plan. He’d give the scumbag a taste of his own medicine and let him see what it felt like to get played! Word was, the scumbag was rich, came from a powerful family, and was a big-shot CEO. He had a chauffeur, rode around in a Bentley, had someone hold an umbrella for him in the rain, and got his clothes custom-fitted. Word was, the scumbag was handsome, with looks that could rival an actor’s. Bai Junyan quickly found his target. Several months later. He’d reeled the guy in, and the scumbag was completely smitten with him. Then Bai Junyan coldly dumped him. The scumbag stared in shock and asked why. Bai Junyan sneered: “Because you’re no good in bed.” Bai Junyan was pleased with himself. He told his childhood friend: “Bro! I got revenge for you!! He’ll remember this grudge for the rest of his life! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!” His friend sobbed: “Waaah, that bastard’s whole image was fake! The luxury cars were rented and split between people, the house was rented too, his degree was fake, and so was his CEO status!! He even bought his whole social media feed online!!!” …Huh? Bai Junyan realized something was off. After a thorough interrogation… Bai Junyan: “Holy crap, did I hit on the wrong guy???” The guy he hit on holds a grudge like nobody’s business, and he’s slow on the uptake, too: “? Who are you saying is no good?” - A sheltered, clueless rich heir top × a charming bottom who’s a master of Chinese idioms P.S. 1. The man who dumped my friend and the person the bottom hit on are two different people. The whole thing is one huge misunderstanding. Hence the alternate title: "A Mix-Up That Stormed the Pass of Love" 2. The protagonist’s actions are wrong. Do not imitate them! He’ll also face the consequences of his actions later on. 3. The protagonist is an ordinary person, not a perfect doll. Please don’t read this with an omniscient perspective or a black-and-white mindset. Blurb screenshot dated 2021/4/26 Nitrogen-Fixing pre-release novel "Peach Blossom Writ". Visit my author page~ Blurb: [Short, 150,000 words, starts in 2022] The year Lin Zikui passed the provincial examination, his father arranged an excellent match for him. The young woman had gone to the capital with her family. Three years later, after his father passed away, Lin Zikui went to the capital to sit the imperial examinations. Remembering the betrothal, he took the marriage contract and went to find her. She was nothing like he’d imagined. She was taller than him, more handsome, broader in the shoulders, and even had bigger feet. Lin Zikui tactfully said, “If you’re unwilling, my family won’t force you. We can call off the engagement. I’ll tear up the marriage contract, and you can find yourself a good match.” The other person looked him over. “I’m not unwilling.” Lin Zikui: “…All right, then.” It wasn’t until their wedding night that Lin Zikui realized something was wrong. “Wait, why are you a man, my wife?” “I’ve always been a man.” With that, his “wife” rolled over and pinned him beneath him. Later, Lin Zikui passed the metropolitan examination. On the day of the palace exam, the young ruler sat on the Dragon Throne, with the all-powerful Regent seated beside him. Lin Zikui didn’t dare look directly at the emperor, but the Regent’s cough sounded terribly familiar. Unable to resist, he raised his head. A familiar figure emerged through his blurred vision. He trembled with fear and couldn’t answer a single question, then fainted on the spot The Regent summoned the imperial physician. “Once he wakes up, send him to my residence.” P.S. The protagonist is nearsighted by the standards of ancient times. Years of studying have left him extremely short-sighted. He can only tell that someone is standing in front of him, and make out a blurry outline. [They say Li Bai was nearsighted, too.] Theme: Keep your word when dealing with friends, and don’t do unto others what you wouldn’t want done to yourself.