Don't Touch My Desk Mate

[The upcoming novel, Don't Put on an Act With Me, is open for follows. Please add it to your reading list.] On the first day Jiang Xu transfers back to his hometown, his cousin, who is about to study abroad, comes to him in tears and begs him to look after her beloved idol and make sure no one bullies him. Apparently, her idol, Lu Zhuo, is 187 centimeters tall, ranks first in his grade, and has a face straight out of a campus romance novel. But because his family is poor and he is a loner, he has been ostracized by a group of classmates and is a poor little thing. Unable to withstand his cousin's wailing, Jiang Xu reluctantly volunteers to become Lu Zhuo's deskmate. Under his cousin's watchful eye, he sends perfunctory daily updates: I bought him breakfast today. He's so annoying. I brought him medicine today. He's so annoying. I helped him fight today. He's so annoying. I walked home with him today. His power was out, and he's afraid of the dark, so I slept with him. He's so annoying. Seeing her brother make such a huge sacrifice despite being so unwilling, all to keep his promise to her, his cousin is deeply moved and flies back that very night. Then, at the back gate of Nanwu Experimental School, she sees her brother, who usually can't even be bothered to get out of bed, angrily yank the tall, long-legged Lu Zhuo behind him before kicking a hulking man away. “I fucking told you not to touch my deskmate! He's mine!” And Lu Zhuo, usually a cold, quiet loner who doesn't waste words, simply nods along. “Yeah. I'm his.” The cousin, forced to switch from a solo fan to a shipper: “...?” Could there really be something this good? · In middle school, Lu Zhuo once met someone. He kept that person in his heart for four years, but never saw him again after that. Lu Zhuo thought that a beloved young master like that was the sun in the sky, and that they would never cross paths again. Until one day, the little sun came back, standing lazily by his desk and tugging on his backpack strap as he asked, “Um, you look pretty handsome. How about becoming my deskmate?” Lu Zhuo, who had never wanted a deskmate in all four years of middle school, only glanced at him before lowering his lashes and saying, “Suit yourself.” No one knew that the phone he'd just put away in his desk was quietly displaying a message that read: [Thanks] The recipient: his cousin. So all the clearing skies you waited for were only clouds I parted for you, using all my strength for a lifetime. Sharp-tongued, stubborn, softhearted young master uke X ruthless, taciturn, scheming, devoted cool guy seme [The upcoming novel, Don't Put on an Act With Me, is open for follows. Please add it to your reading list.] Yu Shu is the hottest newcomer in historical dramas these past few years. With his strikingly beautiful features, world-weary air, fair skin, slender waist, and delicate looks, fans call him the entertainment industry's number-one historical-drama dreamboat. In countless fan-made pairing videos, he's been shipped with everyone under the sun, enough to have eight babies in a single pregnancy. And Zhou Huaixu is the father of those eight babies in all those videos. He is cold and sharp, with an abstinent air, money and good looks, tall and broad-shouldered. Everything about him screams, “I'm aloof, tough, and not to be messed with.” The two have never liked each other. The reason is simple: they're both homophobic, and they're constantly being paired together by fans. Zhou Huaixu even once coldly threatened Yu Shu: “Even if I stay single for the rest of my life, there's no way I'll ever have an ambiguous relationship with another man.” Then that very afternoon, he is gravely injured protecting Yu Shu and falls into a coma. When he wakes up, his first words are delivered with deep affection: “My beloved consort, I have yearned for you for a thousand years. How about you spend the night with me?” Yu “Beloved Consort” Shu: “...” He calmly calls 110. · After a thorough examination confirms that Zhou Huaixu really does just have something wrong with his brain, Yu Shu has no choice but to take him home, out of a sense of humanitarian duty. Yu Shu takes a shower, and Zhou Huaixu wants to join him. Yu Shu goes to sleep, and Zhou Huaixu wants to join him. Yu Shu takes stomach medicine, and Zhou Huaixu wants in on that too. Yu Shu finally loses his patience. “Zhou Huaixu, I'm retching because my gastritis is acting up, not because I'm pregnant!” That night, Zhou Huaixu posts a picture of a tortoise on Weibo: [A joyous day for all, the crown prince is born. @Yu Shu, the child's father, you've worked hard.] Yu Shu: :) He doesn't know whether the whole internet blew up, but he certainly did. But since Yu Shu owes him his life, he can only endure it. If Zhou Huaixu wants to shower together, they shower together. If he wants to sleep together, they sleep together. If he wants to have a baby together, Yu Shu pretends to give birth. Until one day, he comes home early and sees the tyrant Zhou, who should have been pining desperately for him, playing with his little tortoise while lazily telling someone on the phone, “Don't worry, I'm fine now. I was just putting on an act to win Yu Shu over.” Only then does Yu Shu finally smile in relief. Down with the feudal leftovers. You can all go to hell. [Beautiful, frail, world-weary uke with a venomous mouth X handsome, wealthy husband seme with nothing but water in his head] Theme: Even when you're stuck in the mud, keep your eyes on the sun