Don't Try to Turn Me Gay

[Preorder my upcoming story, Don't Act with Me, from my author page!] Gu Jiqing is widely regarded as the beauty of Tsinghua University's mathematics department. His pure-yet-sensual looks have every girl on campus swooning, but on the first day of school he openly announced that he was gay. Rumor has it he's even turned several straight guys. Zhou Cibai is the celebrated campus heartthrob of Tsinghua's architecture department. At 190 centimeters tall and radiating testosterone, he's been hailed by the girls on campus as a walking top. But from the very first day of school, he made his fear of gay men abundantly clear. So on their first day as roommates, Zhou Cibai told him with a stony expression, “Sorry, I'm not interested in men.” Gu Jiqing thought, Perfect. He doesn't like big dogs anyway. They were on the same page, and expected to live in peace. But whenever Gu Jiqing forgot to dry his hair after a shower, Zhou Cibai would blush and storm out. If he got out of bed without putting on pants, Zhou Cibai would blush and storm out. If he were sick and unconsciously rubbed against Zhou Cibai's palm, Zhou Cibai would still blush and storm out. Gu Jiqing figured Zhou Cibai must really be terrified of gay men. Then one day, someone drugged him at a bar. Right in front of Zhou Cibai, he was about to find a young, handsome, clean, and skilled gay guy to help him out when Zhou Cibai grabbed him by the waist and gritted his teeth. “Gu Jiqing, do you think I'm not handsome enough, or not clean enough?” Gu Jiqing blinked in confusion. “Huh? Isn't it because you can't get it up?” · In middle school, Zhou Cibai fell in love at first sight with a girl. But a gay guy who wouldn't leave him alone humiliated him in front of her, and ever since, he'd kept his distance from gay men. Now Gu Jiqing was trying to seduce him by showering with wet hair, trying to seduce him by showing off his thighs when he got out of bed, trying to seduce him with soft, sweet coos whenever he got sick. Even the red mole at the corner of his eye was exactly like his crush's. Zhou Cibai finally lost patience and said coldly, “Gu Jiqing, could you tone it down? Stop trying to turn me gay all day long.” Then that very night, he slept with Gu Jiqing. Zhou Cibai had believed since childhood that holding hands meant you were in love. Looking at the used condoms scattered all over the floor, he decided that even though he was a straight guy who feared gay men, he still had to take responsibility for Gu Jiqing. So he decided to destroy the photos of his crush, leave the past behind, and make things official with Gu Jiqing. But Gu Jiqing, who'd kept him up all night, just lay lazily in bed, picked up the photo of his crush, and asked hoarsely, “How do you have a picture of me from middle school?” Then he raised an eyebrow and said offhandedly, “Oh, right. I transferred ten thousand yuan to you. Consider it payment for last night's hard work. Don't mention it.” Zhou Cibai, a wealthy straight guy who'd been worth a fortune but was now only worth ten thousand yuan for a night: “???” A naturally seductive beauty who doesn't know he's a flirt VS a sweet, virtuous dog who's bent without realizing it [Preorder my upcoming story, Don't Act with Me, from my author page!] Yu Shu is the hottest new face in historical dramas in recent years. With his striking, seductive features, world-weary air, pale skin, slender waist, and delicate beauty, fans have hailed him as the number-one white moonlight of costume dramas in the entertainment industry. In countless fan edits, he's been ravished until he sees stars and has eight children in one go. And Zhou Huaixu is the father of all eight children in those countless videos. Sharp and austere, with an air of abstinence, wealth and good looks, tall and broad-shouldered: everything about him says “cold, capable, and not to be messed with.” They'd always disliked each other. The reason was simple: they were both homophobic and had both been paired together by fans. Zhou Huaixu had even once coldly threatened Yu Shu: “I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than have anything ambiguous with another man.” Then that very afternoon, he was gravely injured while protecting Yu Shu and fell unconscious. When he woke up, his first words were a heartfelt declaration: “My beloved consort, I have missed you for a thousand years. Why don't you attend me tonight?” Yu Shu, his “beloved consort”: “...” He calmly called 110. · After various tests confirmed that Zhou Huaixu really did just have something wrong with his head, Yu Shu had to take him home out of a sense of humanitarian duty. Yu Shu took a bath, and Zhou Huaixu wanted to join him. Yu Shu went to bed, and Zhou Huaixu wanted to join him. Yu Shu took stomach medicine, and Zhou Huaixu wanted to join him, too. Yu Shu finally snapped. “Zhou Huaixu, I'm retching because my gastritis is acting up, not because I'm pregnant!” That very night, Zhou Huaixu posted a photo of a turtle on Weibo: [A cause for nationwide celebration: The crown prince has been born. @Yu Shu, the child's father, thank you for your hard work.] Yu Shu: :) He didn't know if the whole internet had exploded, but he sure had. But since Yu Shu owed him his life, all he could do was put up with it. If Zhou Huaixu wanted to bathe together, fine. If he wanted to sleep together, fine. If he wanted to have a baby together, Yu Shu would pretend to give birth. Until one day, he came home early and saw the tyrant Zhou, who was supposed to be pining for him, playing with his little turtle while lazily telling someone on the phone, “Don't worry, I'm fine. I've just been pretending this whole time to win Yu Shu over.” Only then did Yu Shu finally smile in relief. Down with the feudal leftovers. Die, all of you. [A delicate, frail, sharp-tongued, world-weary beauty bottom VS a handsome, rich husband top with nothing but water in his head] A completely unrestrained, pure comedy. Life is hard, so come have a laugh. Theme: Nurture the flowers of our motherland with love