Don't Pretend You're Poor with Me

[Coming Soon: Please Pre-Add My Next Novel, Don’t Pretend with Me] On the first day at his new school, Song Yan ran into his new roommate being cornered in an alley by a gang of thugs demanding money. His new roommate swung his club, and the punks fled in a panic. Even as they ran, they didn’t forget to curse him out. “With a pretty-boy face like yours, you could find yourself a rich woman and make a fortune! Why worry about paying back this little bit of money?” His new roommate nodded in agreement, as if suddenly enlightened. “That makes sense.” Song Yan: “…” What the hell does that have to do with anything? So, to keep his new roommate from going down the wrong path, Song Yan embarked on an irreversible mission to provide targeted assistance to a pure-hearted, gorgeous high school boy. No money for dinner? He bought it. No money for textbooks? He paid. No money for a scarf? He took advantage of a buy-one-get-one deal and picked up another one. The young master Song, whose family had already restricted his allowance, had no choice but to learn frugality, thrift, and hard work. Then his father took him to a banquet. “Come, Xiao Yan, let me introduce you. This is your Grandpa Xia’s grandson, Xia Zhiye.” Song Yan stared at Xia Zhiye, standing before him in a tailored suit, with the shabby scarf Song had picked up in a buy-one-get-one deal outside school wrapped around his neck. “…” · That night, an angry shout rang out from a boys’ dorm at a high school. “Fuck off, don’t pretend you’re poor with me!” The one being abused simply coaxed him patiently. “I’m not pretending. I really am poor. But I’ll be rich someday, and I’ll let my boyfriend manage all my money. So, would you consider it?” A shameless, good-tempered flirt of an attacker X a sharp-tongued, soft-hearted, bad-tempered cool guy of a receiver [Coming Soon: Please Pre-Add My Next Novel, Don’t Pretend with Me] Yu Shu is the hottest new actor in period dramas in recent years. With his strikingly alluring features, world-weary air, pale skin, slender waist, and frail, beautiful appearance, fans have hailed him as the greatest period-drama heartthrob in the Chinese entertainment industry. He’s been shipped with countless people in fan edits, where he’s been thoroughly ravished and given birth to eight children in one go. And Zhou Huaixu is the father of those eight children in all those videos. Cold and sharp, with an ascetic air, rich and handsome, tall and broad-shouldered: every inch of him screams, “I’m aloof, formidable, and not to be messed with.” The two of them have never liked each other. The reason is simple: they both hate homosexuality, and they keep getting paired together by fans. Zhou Huaixu once even coldly threatened Yu Shu: “I’d rather stay single my whole life than ever have an ambiguous relationship with another man.” Then, that very afternoon, he was gravely injured while protecting Yu Shu and fell into a coma. When he woke up, his first words were a passionate declaration: “My beloved consort, I have yearned for you for a thousand years. How about you attend to me tonight?” Yu “Beloved Consort” Shu: “…” He indifferently called 110. · After thorough investigation proved that Zhou Huaixu really was just out of his mind, Yu Shu had no choice but to take him home, out of human decency. Yu Shu took a bath, and Zhou Huaixu insisted on joining him. Yu Shu went to sleep, and Zhou Huaixu insisted on joining him. Yu Shu took his stomach medicine, and Zhou Huaixu insisted on joining him then, too. Yu Shu finally lost his patience. “Zhou Huaixu, I’m dry-heaving because my gastritis is acting up, not because I’m pregnant!” That night, Zhou Huaixu posted a picture of a tortoise on Weibo: [A joyous day for all! The Crown Prince is born! @YuShu, the child’s father, you’ve worked hard.] Yu Shu: :) He didn’t know if the whole internet had exploded, but he certainly had. But when it came to the man who had saved his life, Yu Shu could only put up with it. If Zhou Huaixu wanted to bathe together, they would bathe together. If he wanted to sleep together, they would sleep together. If he wanted to have a child together, Yu Shu would pretend to give birth. Until one day, he came home early and saw the tyrant Zhou, who was supposedly pining for him, lazily playing with his little tortoise while speaking into the phone: “Don’t worry, I’m all better. I’ve been pretending this whole time to pursue Yu Shu.” Only then did Yu Shu finally smile with relief. Down with all feudal relics! [A frail beauty with a poisonous tongue and a world-weary air, a receiver X a handsome, wealthy husband-type whose head is full of water, an attacker] A wild, utterly silly comedy. Life’s hard, so come find a laugh. Theme: Men shouldn’t be looking to live off their partners.