I Thought It Was a Game [Historical Crossover]

As a chaos-loving prankster who made a living entertaining people in the livestreaming section, Yang Yiyu received an invitation one day from a full-dive gaming company. They wanted him to try an open-world historical game that claimed to recreate reality at a one-to-one scale. Hoping to win a huge cash prize, Yang Yiyu happily accepted. With a max-level beta account, he gleefully entered the game world.

But the game seemed a little too realistic. For instance, when he took his fans’ advice and loudly recited Journey to the West in a game world modeled on the Ming dynasty, he didn’t get admiration and praise. Instead, he was met with screams and horrified stares. Then they slapped shackles on his wrists and hauled him straight to the imperial prison.

Yang Yiyu: ?

Fortunately, his gaming skills came in handy. That very night, he broke out of prison and easily found the mastermind who had ordered his arrest.

“So you’re the Flying Mysterious Perfected One, Emperor Jiajing?”

He stared in surprise at the old man in yellow before him.

[Ming Dynasty: A Long-Lost Ancestor and Grandson Reunite]

Scene One:

“Hello. Allow me to introduce myself.”

Yang Yiyu smiled at the stunned Flying Mysterious Perfected One, the Sublime Emperor, Emperor Jiajing, then gestured to the old man behind him, whose face was longer than a mango:

“This is the Hongwu Emperor, Taizu of the Great Ming, Zhu Hongwu. I revived him just yesterday with my resurrection skill, so he may not be up to speed on the current situation… Would you like me to give you two some space to catch up as grandfather and grandson?”

“All right, viewers. Because of the platform’s content guidelines, we’ll have to avoid showing some of the more graphic violence. Now, click the button below. Press 1 if you think Emperor Jiajing can escape Zhu Hongwu’s copper-headed belt, or press 2 if you think he can’t. We’ll reveal the answer in two hours.”

Scene Two:

“When I passed through Jinling, I heard a joke from the locals,” Yang Yiyu said, stroking his chin. “They say that if the Hongwu Emperor came back to life, all the Grand Secretaries could run from the Ming capital to the Korean Peninsula in a single day… So now I’m going to test that joke. Please, everyone, cooperate.”

“T-test it?”

“That’s right. In half an hour, I’ll summon the spirit of the Hongwu Emperor into the present world. The Grand Secretaries can run as far as they can in those thirty minutes. If you’re too slow and the pursuers catch you, you’ll have to stay behind and play a game of Hongwu Slaughter…”

[Hongwu Slaughter]:

Night has fallen. Close your eyes.

Hongwu Emperor, open your eyes.

Choose who to purge tonight.

Jinyiwei, investigate the players.

This person is to be skinned alive. Cabinet, do you wish to save them?

Warning: attempting a rescue may result in you being purged as well.

Day has broken. Open your eyes, colleagues.

Last night, the traitorous Vice Minister of Revenue was skinned alive.

His last words were: No! Grand Secretary Yan was in on it too!

[Han Dynasty: The Celestial Ascension Assessment Office]

[

“Who exactly are you?”

“I’m an examiner from the Celestial Court’s Ascension Assessment Office.” Yang Mu adjusted his nonexistent glasses and pulled a document from his sleeve. “A little over ten days ago, our office received a nomination for Mr. Liu Che to join this century’s ascension assessment list, so I’ve come down to conduct the evaluation… Are you Mr. Liu Che?”

“To be honest, our assessment office is a little disappointed in you,” Yang Mu said. “Mr. Liu Che, Haotian gave you an emperor-level ranking, which was above your actual ability. We hoped you’d come in, give it your all, and grow quickly. At the emperor level, it’s not enough to simply get things done. You need to be able to think systematically. Where does the value of your work lie? Have you built a moat and established a core competitive advantage? How does your work differ from that of other dynasties? Has it produced reusable materials and methodologies? Why are you the one doing it? Could no one else do it? You need to exercise your own judgment, instead of doing whatever I tell you. Look at the King Wu and Duke of Zhou’s team from the earlier Zhou dynasty. They were willing to sleep on the palace floor for an entire year. Growth always comes with pain. You grow fastest when you’re at your most miserable. Keep it up!”

Liu Che: … Why does becoming immortal suddenly seem so unappealing?

[Tang Dynasty: When Li Bai Was Young, He Thought the Moon Was Earth’s Natural Satellite]

Scene One:

“Look, Master Taibai. Although the moon does look like a jade plate, it’s actually just a satellite made of rock and sand. It can’t produce any light of its own… Do you understand now, sir?”

“I-I understand.”

“Then…” Yang Yiyu casually stepped on the lunar soil and floated into the air, with the blue Earth shining above his head. “Could you write a poem for our viewers on the theme of ‘A Moon Landing,’ Master Taibai?”

Li Bai: “Huh?”

…

All right, viewers, tap your screens! If you want to see the Hongwu Emperor and Emperor Zhu Laosi come back to life and face off, press 1. If you want to see Emperor Wu of Han meet Crown Prince Wei, press 2. Ah, no, Emperor Taizong of Song and his brother are off-limits. Our platform opposes violence, and we absolutely cannot allow a serious bloody incident

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[I thought it was a game]

[My cultural knowledge is too limited. I didn’t notice]

[Go tell that to the audience]

[Hey, I put so much effort into that, how are you still alive?]

[A wildly overpowered chaos-evil prankster barges into every dynasty and causes mayhem. A delightfully twisted guide, essential for anyone looking to mess with people.]

Theme: Build on history and open up the future.