Pet Communication Expert from Another World

"Stay with me until the heat death of the universe."

*

After transmigrating to another world, Lin Xun returned to his old profession and became a pet communicator.

A pet owner asked, "Teacher Lin, my kitten hasn't been eating lately and keeps meowing. Is something bothering it?"

Teacher Lin replied worriedly, "It thinks the toxic cat food you bought tastes awful, and it's swearing at you. I recommend reporting the cat food manufacturer."

*

A pet owner asked, "Teacher Lin, my chinchilla keeps trying to run outside. Is it longing for freedom?"

Teacher Lin considered it before replying, "It probably thinks you keep the air conditioner at 27 degrees all year round, so you're a dumb tropical lizard. It just doesn't want to live in your temperature-controlled enclosure anymore."

*

A pet owner asked, "Teacher Lin, my baby is pretty big. Can you communicate with it?"

Teacher Lin readily agreed. When he arrived, he saw a seven-meter reticulated python staring at him with gleaming eyes. Teacher Lin took a frightened step backward.

The pet owner asked anxiously, "Is it refusing to communicate?"

Teacher Lin: "..."

Well, why couldn't a seven-meter reticulated python count as a pet?

Teacher Lin replied calmly, "It's a kind little snake. It's just feeling guilty because it ate someone. Wait, it ate a person??"

*

A pet owner asked, "Teacher Lin, my baby is a bit unusual. Can you communicate with it?"

Teacher Lin readily agreed. When he arrived, he saw a beautiful fish-man with a fish's head and a human body, crying pearls all over the floor. It was a picture that was both lovely and horrifying.

The pet owner frowned. "Is it refusing to communicate?"

Well, why couldn't a beautiful fish-man with a fish's head and a human body count as a pet?

Teacher Lin replied calmly, "It's just upset because it thinks it's ugly. It's fine. Play it the song 'You're Ugly, but You're Gentle.'"

*

A pet owner asked, "Teacher Lin, my baby is a bit irritable. Can you communicate with it?"

Teacher Lin: "How irritable?"

The deputy director held up the spirit form of the most dangerous of the Bureau's six overseers. "The kind that kills without remorse."

Teacher Lin: "..."

Wait, what?? Can a spirit form count as a pet too??

And why does your pet look so much like my foul-mouthed, grumpy cat that went missing just now??

Carefree, totally unbothered bottom × Grumpy, foul-mouthed, brutally violent cat-headed top

*

Below is the upcoming story, Who Will Pick Up the White Moonlight at the Airport?:

Why have even their white moonlights fallen in love with me?

*

Meng Xun is an ordinary Alpha.

Every year, his birthday wish is to find a sweet and gentle Omega wife, settle down with a wife and kids, get promoted and earn a raise, and reach the pinnacle of life.

So he works diligently without complaint, running around after his neurotic boss, dealing with lovers for a rich young master with a childish streak, finding a hospital for his obsessive rival, and serving tea and water to a narcissistic client.

After finally passing one trial after another and becoming the CEO's assistant, just when he's about to reach the pinnacle of life, the white moonlight of all these oddballs returns from overseas.

Who's going to pick up the white moonlight at the airport?

Assistant Meng steps up first, and there's no question about it.

The white moonlight has fair skin, stunning looks, and an elegant air. Gentle, sweet, and affectionate, he's practically Assistant Meng's dream Omega.

Sure, the white moonlight is taller than him, has broader shoulders, and is stronger than him... but none of that matters.

Until one day, the white moonlight pulls out something bigger than his.

Assistant Meng grits his teeth and compliments him. "...An Omega like you is truly blessed with an incredible gift."

The white moonlight nestles against him, acting sweetly. "Big brother, I never said I was an Omega."

*

Peerlessly virtuous, top-tier tea-drinking top who thinks the whole world owes him eight million × A long-suffering workhorse bottom who says, "Fine, whatever, you're right, but what does it have to do with me?"

Theme: Live in the face of death