Can the Thousand-Year-Old Duo Be Friends?

Tengen, wielder of the Immortality Technique and a fugitive sorcerer everyone wants to devour, is being hunted again today. It wasn’t until Tengen picked up two meal buddies while on the run that she realized she wasn’t the only one having a terrible time. Meal buddy number one is a scheming, black-haired Ken. Tengen calls him Ken-chan. He has a brilliant mind and can lead their pursuers around in circles. The other number one is a pink-haired, hot-tempered Naru. Tengen calls him Naru-chan. He has a great technique and can deal with most of the trash sorcerers who come after them. Tengen’s ideal life: the strongest brain at her left hand, the strongest fighter at her right, everything she needs at her disposal, doing whatever she says. They take out wave after wave of pursuers, and the three of them absolutely crush it! Tengen’s real life: looking for a chance to ditch them both. Ken-chan’s real life: I’m going to backstab them. Sukuna’s real life: The two people running away with me are both idiots. / After arriving in a parallel world Tengen, conflicted: “Ken-chan’s turned into a terrible adult.” Ken-chan, incredulous: “I refuse to accept a world where this Tengen has become a four-eyed cursed spirit!” Sukuna, his eyes full of disdain: “You two are living absolutely miserable lives.” Tengen/Ken-chan: “You have no right to say that about us!!!” The hit series My Many-Sided Friends starts now!! / Tengen swears to the heavens: “Naru-chan is my guiding light! I’d never abandon him!” Gojo, quietly: “Your guiding light killed thousands of people in Shibuya.” Naru-chan sneers: “So what? Tengen and I are on the same side as those thousands of people…” Tengen quickly changes tack: “But now that I think about it, I’m actually a spy sent by the forces of justice.” Naru-chan: “…” The weather’s getting cold. Time to sharpen my knife. Tengen swears to the heavens again: “Ken-chan is my best friend! I’d never abandon him!” Geto smiles. “He had a child with the reincarnation of the King of Curses’ brother. You’re an aunt now. Your brother is his sister-in-law, and the child looks more like Sukuna.” Ken-chan married the King of Curses’ brother and had a child with Sukuna. Tengen’s brain automatically rounded all that up and, instantly indignant, she said, “That’s slander!” Ken-chan looked up abruptly, deeply moved. Did Tengen really trust him that much?! Tengen, expression unchanged: “Who’s Ken-chan?! I don’t know him at all!” She couldn’t join a family that was going to get this complicated in the future. The King of Curses saw the giggling trio and chose silence over either fighting or scolding them. The King of Curses: …Embarrassing. The Brain saw the giggling trio and chose to hold back, rather than plot against them or contact his parallel-world self to plot against them together. The Brain couldn’t understand why his parallel self gave off such a strong vibe of being ready to backstab him. The God of the Jujutsu World saw the giggling trio and greeted them warmly. Tengen clutched her head and screamed: “Aaaaaah! I don’t want to turn into this!!!” // When facing the moment of a friend’s death, Tengen held her dear friend’s hand, which was as thin as a dry branch, and tears fell. “Don’t die. What am I supposed to do if you die?” At last, he was going to die. If he didn’t, his awful reputation would eventually drag hers down with it. “You’re dying anyway, so let me ask you something. Can I turn your corpse into a mummy so you can keep me company?” “Huh? No? It’s fine, don’t feel bad. You’re dying anyway.” Whether he agreed or not made no difference. Ken-chan: “…Is it really okay for you to do that?” Tengen gives him a thumbs-up. “It’s fine. I’ll say you did it.” Our friendship is unbreakable. Also known as: The Immortal Me and My Poor, Put-Upon Friends; The Three of Us Absolutely Crush It [Content Warnings] You should know there will be out-of-character portrayals from the blurb alone. This is a very everyday sort of story, with little in the way of a main plot. Upcoming Work: I Have a Big Family A timeless classic of fiction: death is often not the end. The System’s mission is to become the child of the chosen one, but Hagino Akiha is female. Mission One: Ken-chan Kamo Akiha has a clever son. She carefully raises and cherishes him, taking his hand and guiding him forward as she watches him grow, until one day, her son dies. Akiha can’t accept it. She came here to complete a mission, sure, but she put her heart into it! How could the System treat her like this? It never said the chosen one could die too! System: No, listen to me. He isn’t dead yet. Just put his brain in anyone’s body and you can log off. System: Uh, not just anyone. The body’s owner should have a good technique. Akiha thinks it over. “Then put it in my head. That’ll let me log off just fine.” System: ??? Wait, you? The revived Ken-chan looks at his own body, his brain frozen. Mission Two: Sukuna Itadori Akiha has a pregnant wife and unborn twins, one named Itadori Sukuna and the other Itadori Jin. But on the day of the birth, Akiha sees only Sukuna. Akiha: … Now the pressure is on her. She diligently raises and cherishes him, teaches him about emotions and survival, and watches him grow. Then her son dies again. Akiha flies into a rage: “System, you tricked me!!” System: Calm down first. He’ll come back as a curse! Akiha waits and waits, but her son still hasn’t come back to life. She yells at the System again. System: That’s not right. How is this possible? This shouldn’t happen. The System analyzes everything from the beginning and suddenly understands. “Go to his grave and tell him, ‘I never loved you.’” Akiha is skeptical. One sentence can bring someone back from the dead? She doesn’t believe it, so she decides to make it a little harsher. Akiha: From the moment you were born, I knew you were a menace, blah blah blah. You’re not my child, blah blah blah. You’re a monster who ate my child, blah blah blah. Before she can finish, Akiha is buried in sand and logs off. Mission Three: Toji Zenin Akiha has a deceased wife who gave birth to her younger son, Toji, as well as an older son named Zenin Jinichi and a younger son named Zenin Toji. Akiha has had enough. She’s going to fight back. After a year in the Zenin family, she leaves and starts a battle of wits with the System. Several years pass. Her self-destructive behavior and despondency finally “move” the System. System: …Fine. Not counting the Zenin Toji mission, you still have to take one more assignment. After that, I’ll arrange a new identity for you and disconnect from you. Zenin Akiha happily returns, only to discover that her eldest son thought she’d stayed away because the younger boy had no cursed energy. He’d ignored his helpless little brother and offered him no support. Looking at her young son, who is as wary as a wolf cub, doubts her identity, and wants nothing to do with her, Akiha and the System fall silent. System: …This mission target has already been traumatized. All you can do is make amends. Anyway, we’ll have to add one more target to your upcoming missions. Akiha: …Fine. First, she tells her eldest son: “I’m sorry. I’m back.” Then she hugs her younger son: “I’m sorry I’m late.” She soothes the two little brats, fills their heads with modern ideas about freedom, and tells them that brothers are strong because they love and support each other. Then she throws up her arm and takes the throne as head of the Zenin family. Then her son runs away from home. The System sees how things are going and decides it’s safe to log off. Akiha dies peacefully in a car accident. Toji, who couldn’t make it back for the funeral: … Mission Four: Geto/Gojo Geto/Gojo Akiha has two wives and two sons. Akiha decides to report the System for disrespecting marriage law and forcing its Host to violate marriage law. System: The Gojo family didn’t get a marriage certificate. Akiha: …Y-you, you’re cheating on me! System: …Do you even have the equipment for that? Akiha: … So Akiha is forced to rotate between two households and faces all kinds of disasters, including one child getting sick while the other child’s teacher asks for a parent to come in. After the two kids secretly enroll at Tokyo Jujutsu High, she is summoned by both children on the same day, at the same school, in the same class, and even by the same teacher. Akiha falls silent for a moment, then slams the table. “Watch me defy fate!” Then her son dies again. After every mission is finally over, Akiha bursts into tears. That’s right, I once had a big family. Theme: Friendship means keeping pace together, every step of the way!