Tokyo Jujutsu Mafia Boss Is the Best

He Hai Jisha is the Schrodinger's leader of Tokyo's Jujutsu Mafia. Even when kidnapped by the Port Mafia, she manages to escape unharmed. Gojo on her left, Geto on her right, Atsuya in front, Shoko behind, with the assistant supervisors and Yaga-sensei cleaning up the mess. Her disfigured mother (or father), with a stitched scar across their forehead, comes from a thousand-year-old family. Her father (or mother), who left her a powerful body despite having died with only vague memories, is just as extraordinary. Some of the above may be exaggerated, but He Hai Jisha has always felt like she's won at life. Everything is wonderful! But life never stands still. Sorry, Mr. Mori! Sorry, Yaga-sensei! Sorry, Gojo, Suguru, Utahime, Mei Mei, Nanami, and Haibara! This troublemaker is staying on as a teacher! My foolish juniors! Call me Teacher He Hai! Little skits When two people who met in middle school reunite Seeing Miss He Hai with a cigarette between her lips, Geto quickly pulls out a lighter and lights it for her. In a deadpan voice, he says, “As always, you look dashing today, boss.” Miss He Hai, with a serious face: “Add an honorific, Geto! Address me respectfully as ‘you,’ not casually as ‘you.’” Geto: “...Don't push your luck!” / On a mission, they encounter a sorcerer assassin hired to take out the target Miss He Hai immediately names her price: “I'll give you fifty million. Let us go.” Mr. Kusakabe pulls out his phone and scrolls through his contacts, saying seriously, “I have the numbers of a few Zenin clan members. Tell me which one you can't stand and I'll call them out to beat him up.” Mr. Toji: ...These two are way too used to this. / When Yaga-sensei plays favorites Miss He Hai, with a serious face: “This mission is obviously meant for our fourth-year class! Yaga-sensei, have you forgotten that Atsuya and I never even missed giving you a Valentine's Day gift?!” Mr. Kusakabe starts badmouthing them: “Think carefully, old man Yaga! Gojo and Geto look like the kind of unfilial brats who'd dance on your grave after you died!” Yaga-sensei: ... / When two equally rich people cross paths Gojo-chan nonchalantly shows off his watch, his necklace, and the price tags still attached to his clothes. Miss He Hai casually waves her hand, revealing a huge diamond ring on her thumb, a gold chain around her wrist, and a black card between her fingers. The two richest people at Tokyo Jujutsu High, living off their ancestors' fortunes. / Warning: This is a slice-of-life story, also known as The Schrodinger's Organization. Pairing: Kusakabe Atsuya Recommendation: Is There Friendship Among the Millennium Group? My name is Tengen. I possess an immortality technique, and I'm a fugitive sorcerer everyone wants to treat like Tang Monk's meat. It wasn't until I picked up two companions to share my meals that I realized I wasn't the only unlucky one. Companion number one is a sinister, black-haired Geto. I call him Silk Flower. He's got a great brain and can lead pursuers in circles. The other number one is a hotheaded, pink-haired Sukuna. I call him Sukuna-chan. He's got a great technique and can take care of most of the trash sorcerers who come after us. After taking out yet another wave of pursuers, I finally realized something: the three of us are insanely strong! We mow everyone down! I put my hands on my hips and laugh arrogantly. “Foolish sorcerers! I'm standing right here! Do you really think you can lay a finger on me?” Silk Flower swiftly takes out an approaching sorcerer. Though he's used to it by now, he still grits his teeth and says, “You! Put a protective barrier around yourself, then bake a potato inside it for us, who are working so hard!” Ryomen Sukuna, who has just instantly killed a sorcerer on the other side, turns around sharply. “Shut up! The potatoes she bakes are inedible! My tongue can't stand tasting that garbage! Eat it yourself!” Silk Flower looks horrified. “You've got to be kidding! I'm not eating that!” I point at them. “You two have no appreciation for good food!” / After almost dying Tengen staggers along with the two boys piled on her back, looking for a place to camp. She doesn't forget to taunt them: “That didn't go as planned, did it? How are you feeling?” Silk Flower, at the top of the pile, pants. Thinking about how the injured him will have to be looked after by someone for almost a week, he feels despair. “...Your cooking is really awful. The medicine you brew is ten times more bitter than anyone else's, too.” In the middle, Ryomen Sukuna laughs heartily, with nothing on his mind but the afterglow of battle. “That was exhilarating!” Tengen, expressionless: “I'll put my heart into brewing your medicine.” The two of them: “...” It was bitter enough when you didn't put your heart into it. What would happen if you did? / The three enter the red-light district. Tengen clasps her hands together. “Think about why I only have this one shrine maiden outfit.” Silk Flower seriously examines the oiran's outfit, then looks at Tengen and sighs. He doesn't want to say more. Figure it out yourself. Ryomen Sukuna folds his arms and looks around. Suddenly, he gets an idea, presses down on Tengen's head, and points at the oiran's outfit. “Want it? I'll strip it off her for you.” Tengen's eyes go wide with shock. “Sukuna-chan, you...” Silk Flower stuffs some jerky into Ryomen Sukuna's mouth and says wearily, “Shut up.” / After arriving in a parallel world Tengen feels conflicted. “Silk Flower turned into a terrible adult.” Silk Flower is incredulous. “I refuse to accept a world where Tengen became a four-eyed cursed spirit!” Ryomen Sukuna looks at them with disdain. “The two of you are a pathetic sight.” Tengen/Silk Flower: “Look who's talking!!!” Also known as: I'm Immortal, and These Are My Hapless Friends / The Three of Us Mow Everyone Down [Warnings / Content notes]: You should know from the blurb alone: OOC, extremely OOC. Theme: Strive for your ideals and cheer for the friendships of youth