The Ultimate Weapon Against Dazai: 5T5

[Complete: Notes on Winning Over My Senpai Dazai] [Preorder for FiveDazai: Please Win Over the “Unwinnable” Target] The fake blurb has nothing to do with the actual story (I’m terrible at blurbs; I’ll revise this later): Looking back on your life so far, is there anything unforgettable? Teacher Gojo answered: A bandage freak invited me to drown with him. And what about the bandage freak? Teacher Gojo thought it over. He flirted with me, then vanished into thin air. What a total jerk! The fake blurb has nothing to do with the actual story (maybe I’ll write it as an extra): While preparing for an assignment, Armed Detective Agency Dazai transforms into a dashing big sister on a social media app, sharing glimpses of her daily life and earning heaps of praise every day: “Big Sis is so cool!” Everything is ready. Now all they have to do is wait for the target to take the bait. And yet... The target didn’t take the bait. The strongest one did. Teacher Gojo sends passionate compliments every day, timed around breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with the changing weather as his inspiration, using at least a hundred different words each time, and always by private message. “Big Sis is so cool!” “Big Sis, wanna meet up in person~? I’m super handsome!” “It’s raining today and getting colder, Big Sis. Remember to dress warmly!” “The sun is blazing and it’s getting warmer, Big Sis. Don’t go out underdressed!” Private messages: Exhausted, Armed Detective Agency Dazai: I’m a man. Long-planned, Teacher Gojo: Isn’t that even better~? Armed Detective Agency Dazai: ...?! [eyes wide with shock] Reading guide: [GojoDazai pairing, one-on-one. No ship-bashing. [The writing is extremely bad. Read with caution. [There are some very minor Lovecraftian elements. Really, just a little, basically background details. [It’s not very long. Feel free to ask for updates or leave a paw print. Writing in solitude is so demotivating, qaq. [For fun, not instruction. Please don’t offer writing advice. You don’t need to tell me if you drop the story. [The text contains lots of separators like (/.). [*The blurb’s relation to the story is like the beef and shrimp on instant noodle packaging: for reference only. Theme: Lighting a lamp to illuminate the road ahead for you.