A Guide to Winning Over Senpai Dazai

[Complete. If you want to read this story, please don't buy the whole thing all at once. (This excludes the first 24 chapters.) Read the first five VIP chapters before deciding whether to continue.]

As long as life goes on, so does slacking off.

After carefully considering the best of the best, Sorcerer Dazai picked a junior schoolmate to be his tool.

Sorcerer Dazai was delighted.

He looked forward to the day his grand slacking-off plan came to fruition.

But life is full of unexpected twists.

His grand plan fell apart halfway through when his white-haired, Six Eyes junior suddenly came down with delusions.

At the center of the Jujutsu High campus, faced with everyone's doubts, the white-haired Six Eyes shouted, "My feelings for Senior Dazai will never change! Senior Dazai and I are true love!"

Sorcerer Dazai, expressionless: "You really are my comeuppance."

After deep reflection, Sorcerer Dazai concluded: "I should never have tried slacking off."

This story is also known as The FiveDazai Romance Observation Diary.

Coauthored by Geto and Shoko.

[ [New FiveDazai Story: Please Pursue the 'Unpursuable' Character] ]

Some day, some month:

Teacher Gojo was absolutely certain this world had gone mad.

He woke up to find that the world had turned into a dating game "bubbling with pink hearts."

The game panel appeared:

[Dear player, welcome to the game.]

[Matching you with a target to pursue...]

[Match successful: Boss Dazai!]

The Six Eyes stared at the words in parentheses after Boss Dazai's name. Teacher Gojo was silent for a full minute before reading them aloud in a strange tone: "Un... unpursuable character?"

Some day, some month:

Boss Dazai was absolutely certain this world had gone mad.

He woke up to find that the world had turned into a dating game "bubbling with pink hearts."

The game panel appeared:

[Dear player, welcome to the game.]

[Matching you with a target to pursue...]

[Match successful: Teacher Gojo!]

His dark, almond-shaped eyes stared at the words in parentheses after Teacher Gojo's name. Boss Dazai fell silent, then finally read them aloud in a strange tone: "Unpursuable character?"

Some day, some month:

With the game's AI assistant yelling noisily in their ears, Teacher Gojo and Boss Dazai had no choice but to pursue each other and meet their "unpursuable" targets.

Teacher Gojo's game panel:

[Boss Dazai's current affection: -35]

Teacher Gojo was speechless with dismay. "We've only just met! Is this guy's starting affection for strangers really that low?"

Game panel:

[Warning! Warning! Warning!]

[Boss Dazai's affection -1 -1 -1...]

[Boss Dazai's current affection: -65]

Teacher Gojo: "...?!"

Boss Dazai's game panel:

[Teacher Gojo's current affection: 5]

Boss Dazai was baffled. "We've only just met, haven't we? Is this guy's starting affection for strangers really that high?"

Game panel:

[Warning! Warning! Warning!]

[Teacher Gojo's affection -1 -1 -1...]

[Teacher Gojo's current affection: -40]

Boss Dazai: "Mm, that's more like it."

Reading guide:

1. Pairing: FiveDazai, one-on-one. No ship-bashing or off-topic shipping comments.

2. Dazai from Jujutsu Kaisen.

3. This is for fun, both yours and mine. No writing advice, please. If you drop the story, there's no need to let me know.

4. There are lots of symbols like (./|/). If that bothers you, please read with caution.

5. The connection between the blurb and the story is about like the beef and shrimp pictured on an instant noodle package: for reference only.

Theme: Loneliness is a hell unique to each person.