The Strongest Sorcerer Won't Pick Up a Weird Bandage Guy

After somehow ending up in a new world, Dazai Osamu had his memories erased and changed from an ability user into a jujutsu sorcerer.

The strange thing was that his ability still worked. Cursed spirits were exorcised automatically as soon as they came near him, and every cursed technique was completely ineffective against him. Such an anomaly quickly landed him on the higher-ups' wanted list.

But Dazai himself had no interest in cursed spirits or jujutsu.

He only wanted to figure out what was going on in this world, recover his memories, and return to his home in Yokohama. Then a white-haired teacher suddenly appeared and cheerfully offered him an invitation.

“Would you be interested in teaching at Jujutsu High?”

Dazai: “First of all, I'm not interested in educating the next generation. And secondly...”

Gojo: “Come on, let's make trouble and break things together!”

Dazai: “I'm in.”

The seemingly unreliable white-haired teacher turned out to be very dependable. Dazai found that they worked surprisingly well together, and tackling missions as a team was a breeze.

So Dazai nodded, deciding to pull off something big with his highly compatible partner.

But the night before the two of them were set to overthrow the jujutsu world...

Gojo Satoru was sealed.

Dazai Osamu: “?”

Then he was forcibly kicked out of the Jujutsu Kaisen world.

Later, he remembered.

His transmigration had not been a coincidence at all. He had come to save Gojo Satoru.

To save his childhood friend, whom he had known since they were young, he had to choose to forget everything and start over each time.

But fate had already been written, and it was cruel. He saw Gojo Satoru battered and bleeding, even from his brain. He saw Gojo lying in a pool of blood, his body completely cold.

Gojo Satoru had struggled with all his might and always treated everyone with kindness, yet in the end, there was no one left to mourn him.

Dazai saw every possible ending.

Dear Satoru, this world is unbearably dull.

You should wake up from this tiresome, predictable story.

So he staked his memories and started over again.

Even forgetting can't tear us apart.

Even if I forget everything, even if I start over ten thousand times, I still can't help being drawn to you.

Because two lonely souls are destined to meet again.

This time, it was his turn to tell Gojo Satoru: The world is rotten.

Let me take you away.

“This world is so rotten and dark... You are the only star still burning.”

And yet, even when the star fell, it couldn't light up the world.

That wasn't the star's fault.

“But I don't want you to burn for anyone.” Dazai reverently kissed his eyes. “You are just you, Satoru. Let's leave together.”

One-line summary: Saving the world is cool, but what if the world isn't worth saving?

Reader's guide

1. Dazai and Gojo save each other, with a massive mutual attraction. There is no Jujutsu Kaisen everybody-gets-a-happy-ending reunion.

2. Recommended for Gojo fans and Dazai fans. The later story will be very unfriendly to fans of the entire Jujutsu Kaisen cast.

3. Contains extensive alternate interpretations and changes. It does not follow the original. The original story elements at the beginning are just a ruse.

4. No accepting stereotypical takes. Dazai and Gojo are the best.

5. Pairings: Gojo/Dazai and Dazai/Gojo. The main story has no preference, so ship whichever you like. In the extra chapters, you can choose to read either the Gojo/Dazai or Dazai/Gojo route. Both get equal treatment.

6. The best Gojo and Dazai will keep winning with love by their side.

Theme: Thank you for existing. Thank you for helping me exist.