After the Gameification, I Became a Detective with Multiple Personalities

[Warning! Pure, unhinged wish-fulfillment fiction. The protagonist is a lunatic who puts his goals above everything else, so brace yourself before reading. The police academy characters get saved, and he doesn't defect to the Red Team! Also, check out my upcoming story, "The Tyrant Raised by Comments"] Chuncheng Jiusi, an ultimate corporate wage slave, woke up one day to find that he had transmigrated into the body of a real alcoholic in Detective Conan who had no name in the original story, and who had successfully infiltrated the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. The world changed in an instant, becoming a gamified world made up of data. Objects had stats, and everyone had a health bar over their head. That was bad enough, but why were there also these snarky comments following them around? * At the amusement park Ferris wheel (80% new, with a little surprise inside. Buy a ticket for a trip straight up to the sky!) Five minutes later, the Ferris wheel came crashing down with a tremendous roar. Explosives are your idea of a little surprise??? At the cafe Coffee (Pay for one, get two experiences. We recommend stealing it to experience what it's like to die young.) Five minutes later, a poisoning occurred at the cafe. Poisoned coffee. Pay for one, get two experiences. Can't argue with that? While aiming a gun (Try aiming one centimeter farther to the left. That way, you'll hit the air in front of him perfectly and suffocate him to death.) Chuncheng Jiusi remained expressionless, shifted one centimeter to the right with practiced ease, and hit the target dead-on. Words appeared above his head: Firearm proficiency +1, accuracy +1 * At the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department, Chuncheng Jiusi worked diligently every day, living in constant fear of being exposed as a real alcoholic. At last, he no longer had to keep up his disguise. He returned to the organization's headquarters, his face wearing a socially anxious dead-fish stare, his heart brimming with tears of joy at seeing a fellow countryman, and pushed open the meeting room door with eager anticipation. The next second, he looked at the room full of "colleagues," including [FBI] and [Japanese Public Security]. Chuncheng Jiusi walked in and sat down. He looked calm on the outside, but was weeping on the inside. Had a bottle of real alcohol somehow been mixed in with all the fake liquor? He began seriously considering the possibility of going back to work at the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. * Warnings: 1. The author's IQ isn't high, the protagonist is overpowered, and this is a brainless power fantasy. Don't overthink it. 2. The protagonist doesn't defect to the Red Team in the end. He transmigrates as a real alcoholic, and his ultimate goal is to come back to life. 3. It may not be mentioned in the blurb, but there are an absolutely ridiculous number of forum scenes, because the author loves forums (). 4. The distillery has extremely absurd alternate settings that still have a little logic to them! 5. Any out-of-character writing is on me. 6. The author is a bad woman!!! If you feel uncomfortable, it's not your fault! Leave immediately! Run! Don't stop for even a second! You'll be fine, I'll be fine, and everyone will be fine. * Check out my upcoming story, "The Tyrant Raised by Comments," on my author page. Six-year-old Seventh Prince Xiao Shiyan was a forgotten, useless prince in the imperial palace. Born premature and sickly, with his mother dead and his medicine never-ending, even passing palace attendants could kick him around. It looked like he wouldn't survive the winter. As he lay dying, a colorful sky screen suddenly appeared before his eyes. [This tyrant-raising game is pretty interesting. Xiao Shiyan looks like such a little sad sack right now, nothing like a tyrant at all.] [His personal eunuch is about to betray Xiao Shiyan and drug him!] [He got framed for stealing again, and they cut off his hand. How pitiful.] [Xiao Shizi is so hated even dogs can't stand him. Not one friend, family member, or lover helps him. In the end, he's tricked by the great villain Pei Ji and dies without a body to bury.] * To survive, Xiao Shiyan followed the sky screen's tyrant-making guide to the letter, diligently learning how to become a tyrant. The comments taught him to recruit the dying and form factions to throw the court into chaos. He obediently did as he was told. He recruited the corrupt top scholar, the eunuch who profited from shady business deals, and the treacherous ministers who ganged up on others. He took in all the bad ones, every last one! "Your Majesty, you absolutely mustn't! These criminals will destroy the foundations of Great Xia!!!" Old Minister Xu cried out in anguish. Xiao Shiyan replied nonchalantly, "Drag him away and execute him." "You mustn't! Old Xu is a meritorious servant of our country." The ministers dropped to their knees in a rustle. A faint smile appeared on Xiao Shiyan's pale face. "Drag them all out and execute them. Anyone else object?" The comments taught him to squander the treasury and launch massive construction projects. He wasted money, building and building without restraint. The Grand Canal, the national defense city, whatever would cost the people and drain the treasury, he built! The ministers wept and shouted as they tried to hurl themselves at a pillar. "Your Majesty, you absolutely mustn't! These projects are a drain on the people and the treasury. Our people can't take any more!" Xiao Shiyan's eyes, reddened from coughing, crinkled with laughter. He called over a young eunuch. "Come here. Old Xu wants to hit the pillar, but he isn't strong enough. Give him a hand." "Give him a real good helping hand!" He was utterly sincere. He only wanted to grow up to be a tyrant who threw the realm into chaos and would be reviled for generations. And things were going smoothly. The protagonist called for an uprising and began a rebellion, hoping to overthrow the tyrant's rule. But before the protagonist could act, the once-criminal general hauled him into the court. The gentle top scholar said he would take him apart piece by piece. The young eunuch, who had once nearly frozen to death, asked how they could let him die so easily. The smiling treacherous minister said they should maximize their gains and let the rebel army see what would happen to them. Even Old Xu, who had tried to throw himself at a pillar time and again, said viciously, "His Majesty has gone to such lengths for the people's sake! The Grand Canal prevents floods, and all those buildings provide homes for refugees. Even the national defense city keeps the southern barbarians from invading. These ungrateful people still want to harm His Majesty!" "They deserve to die!" Xiao Shiyan: ...Would you believe me if I said I'm actually a tyrant? * To maintain his identity as a tyrant, Xiao Shiyan strictly supervised what was written in the history books. Building water projects? Delete it! Repelling foreign invaders? Delete it! Delete it all! Later generations judged Xiao Shiyan as a ruler who treated human lives like nothing and levied exorbitant taxes! Comments: [That's right, that's exactly what he was like!] But many years later, after Old Xu's autobiography was unearthed, researchers realized they might have misunderstood the tyrant Xiao Shiyan, who had lived a thousand years ago. Xiao Shiyan had been so miserable in his early years that he was left with lifelong health problems. After seizing power, he could only use force to suppress a court full of aristocratic families. The history books smeared him by recording only his tyranny, without explaining why he ruled that way or how his tyranny changed people's lives. Before long, Xiao Shiyan's life as a little sad sack was all over the internet, and people online were full of sympathy for him. The viewers watching the comments: [Help! We really were trying to raise a tyrant!] Theme: Everyone can shine brightly.