[Wuxia Crossover] I'm a God of War, Not Some Lunatic

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[Next up, another silly Quick Transmigration story: I'm a War God, I'll Tear Up the Book of Fate, Please Add It to Your Collection (^^)]

The Su family has a daughter named Xianxian, a delicate and frail official's daughter with a heart that yearns for the martial world. Her elders are constantly worried about her.

The Nine Heavens' War God, Jiuge, is the most arrogant and fearless warrior under heaven. Before becoming a god, she came from the Northeast, and her idol is Lu Zhishen. She calls herself "this old man" and often slips into a Northeastern accent.

These two people, so utterly different, are joined together by fate. From then on, the martial world has a whole new kind of spectacle.

Su Xianxian, born to an official family, doesn't think about the martial world when trouble strikes. She just wants to report it to the Six Gates constabulary.

Su Jiuge, who came from Heaven, doesn't want to think when trouble strikes. She just wants to riddle it with bullets.

The people of the martial world are overwhelmed by these frequent split-personality scenes, but can only timidly suggest, "I know a miracle doctor. Should I introduce you?"

Su Xianxian replies politely, "No need, thank you."

Su Jiuge raises her chin. "No need. You're the one who's sick in the head."

Reading guide:

1. The heroine's love interest is Hua Manlou. One-on-one romance, with mutual feelings.

2. You can think of this as having two heroines, or as the heroine having a split personality. Whatever makes you happy.

3. Hua Manlou is an extraordinary man. He treats Su Xianxian as his girlfriend and Jiuge as his buddy, switching between the two with ease. No wonder he's called the God of Flowers.

Please add to your collection:

[Quick Transmigration] I'm a War God, I'll Tear Up the Book of Fate

The Matchmaker cultivates by pairing people up, while the God of Fate cultivates by writing stories.

One day, the two immortals got together for a chat, and somehow the topic turned to the War God.

Matchmaker: The War God commands armies. Who in this world could take her life?

God of Fate: If I could get her into one of my deadly stories, I bet her divine power would be reduced to less than a tenth. Then I'd hit her with murder for love, revenge killing, and every other kind of killing. I refuse to believe I couldn't finish her off!

The unscrupulous Wind God happened to pass by. With a flick of his sleeve, he sent their boastful words straight to the War God.

The War God arrived in an instant and planted a hand on the God of Fate's head. "What fun is there in whispering behind someone's back? How about you and me make a wager?"

The God of Fate immediately flushed with indignation. "You're on!!!"

And so...

A sliver of divine consciousness enters the Book of Fate, defies destiny, and breaks free of a deadly predicament!

*

First life: Since ancient times, beautiful women have met tragic ends. A pearl diver dies at the Sea Sacrifice

The God of Fate cackles with his hands on his hips: Mwahahaha! I'll feed you to the turtles right from the start!

The Matchmaker can't bear to watch: You really tied the War God up way too tightly.

Inside the Book of Fate, the pearl-diving War God is bound like a mummy, yet she still manages to out-sass a mermaid. She swims furiously for nine thousand meters, reaches shore, reports the crime, and breaks her death curse.

The magistrate nearly leans right over his desk, stunned. "How did you swim here all the way from the neighboring county?!"

The pearl diver has had punctured eardrums since childhood and is hard of hearing. "What did you say, sir? A deep-fried pot?"

[A naive, spirited pearl diver X a crafty county magistrate with a heart as full of holes as coal briquettes]

*

Second life: The devoted are always betrayed by the heartless. A top scholar hires someone to kill his butcher wife

The God of Fate grumbles: I'll make you do the filthiest work, then give you an ungrateful snake who hires someone to kill you!

The Matchmaker tries to intervene, but it's too late. "Are you out of your mind??? The War God could make a nail file dance in the wind. Giving her a butcher's knife is no different from giving her the Dragon-Slaying Saber!"

Inside the Book of Fate, the butcher-War God sharpens her knife until it gleams, then discusses things with the top scholar: I've decided to become a bounty hunter. I'll kill the worst people, collect the biggest rewards, and buy you the finest brushes, ink, paper, and inkstones!

Top scholar: ...

Whoever has the tougher life can be the heartless one!

"My wife~"

The top scholar leans against the doorframe, shoulder bare. "The bed's all warm. Come on over~"

His wife, busy sharpening her knife, only glances at him and says stiffly, "Go back to your room first. And get dressed. You'll catch a chill."

[A butcher woman who doesn't get romance X a charming, flirtatious young top scholar]

*

Third life: Frail and sickly, with little time left. A fortune teller predicts she'll die at seventeen

The God of Fate sneers: Birth, aging, sickness, and death are the way of life. The War God can enjoy having a sickly body for a change.

The Matchmaker is left speechless. "Did I forget to tell you... the War God has an absurdly strong constitution?"

Inside the Book of Fate, the sickly War God drinks goji berries soaked in wine, practices tai chi, the Five-Animal Exercises, and the Eight Brocades. She even catches her blood when she coughs it up, yet none of that keeps her from knocking out street thugs with one punch. When she turns seventeen, her family has already prepared her coffin, but she just won't die.

The fortune-teller she rescues again insists on joining her household as an adviser, even if he has to pay his own way.

The young lady flicks a finger, cold and haughty. ", Throw him out!"

[A sickly young lady who believes in everything except fate X a shameless fortune-teller whose only prediction in life is always wrong]

*

Fourth life: Born a demon seed, everyone is entitled to kill her

The God of Fate gets worked up: Just you wait while I summon everyone in the world, Huh?!

The Matchmaker pounds his chest in frustration. "Did I forget to tell you again that the War God has resistance to demonic energy?"

Inside the Book of Fate, the Demon Lord War God is back in power and thriving. She unifies the demon realm and transforms its people.

The human emperor inches closer, stammering. "I knew it... With the Demon Lord here, how could the human and demon realms fail to live together in harmony~"

The Demon Lord abruptly stands up from reading a memorial. "Insolent fool! I said the Ghost Market can only open for one day on the fifteenth. Who opened the gates to the underworld without permission?!"

The human emperor stumbles off his throne, clutching his behind and grimacing. "Because... it's the Lantern Festival."

[A War God Demon Lord devoted to governing the demon realm X a human emperor who wants to become a demon every day]

There are also stories such as [stealing hairs from the broom of the unlucky star to make a brush for writing fate, so the War God will meet an unlucky death], [borrowing a bundle of red thread from the Matchmaker to knit a sweater, so the War God will die of lovesickness], [possessing the War God with Lin Daiyu so she weeps at the wind and mourns herself], and many more...

Later...

When the War God returned from her trials, she discovered that the magistrate, the top scholar, the fortune-teller, the human emperor, and others had all started flicking their sleeves like the Wind God.

The unscrupulous Wind God glances away. "Well... I just can't stand watching the God of Fate show off with his book and mess with people's destinies."

The Matchmaker sighs inwardly. The Wind God is the true God of Love.

The God of Fate hugs a pile of torn paper and sobs. "My Book of Fate! (T ^ T)"

Theme: My fate is mine to command, not Heaven's.