The Chinese Entertainment Industry Is Doomed, but Going Crazy Is Only Natural

At first, Wen Yang was just an ordinary fan whose favorite celebrities had all had their careers crash and burn. Then one day, someone said, “If you think you can do better, do it yourself,” and the wheels of fate began to turn. Wen Yang transmigrated into the body of an infatuated, obscure actress who shared her name. She whispered like a devil, “I’m here to hunt you down, career-crashers.” No one’s going to clean up the entertainment industry? Then she will. Phone time’s over. It’s hunting season … A famous director handed Wen Yang a room key. She took it without hesitation. “Mind if I bring someone along?” The director nodded excitedly. Of course he didn’t mind. A beautiful woman’s friend was bound to be beautiful too! That night, with Wen Yang leading the way, the director greeted a hundred million people in a livestream chat, then promptly blacked out. * A top-tier male idol stirred up drama and dragged Wen Yang through the mud, claiming she was throwing herself at him. His rabid fans chased her down in person and yelled, “Shameless! Stay away from our oppa! He’s afraid of women…” Wen Yang looked straight at the idol and said, “That’s terrifying. He’s afraid of women, yet he’s grinning away and dancing pressed up against girls at a bar, and having candlelit dinners with his sister-in-law.” The idol’s fans: ? The idol: !!! * Wen Yang tears into veteran “beloved” entertainers and kicks crooked production teams to the curb. The veteran entertainers and production teams: Wen Yang, what did we ever do to you?! Wen Yang smiles. “Thanks for asking. I attack all career-crashers indiscriminately.” The internet went wild. Wen Yang, you’re saying all this? Aren’t you afraid of getting yourself killed?! If you’ve got more to say, keep it coming. This is way more entertaining than those so-called bombshells the paparazzi dig up. Wen Yang has your fandom covered. She’s a little crazy, but you can feel safe with her. … The internet rejoiced, fans had a blast, and career-crashers wept. That year came to be known as the “Wen Yang Era.” One fallen celebrity asked Wen Yang in despair, “Who are you, really?” Wen Yang replied, “Just a disappointed ordinary fan.” For the first time, all the career-crashers Wen Yang exposed were in complete agreement: They really wanted to pool their money and secretly assassinate the fellow fan who’d made the Big Bad go berserk. Reader's Guide No real-life inspirations. This is a fictional comedy, so please don't associate it with real people. Dear readers, please check out my upcoming book: “Was I Really the Cultivation World's Savior?” by Dage He Bing Kuo Luo (find it in the author's profile. Please add it to your favorites, mwah!) Synopsis: The moment Ye Lanqiu transmigrated into a book and saw her own face, she knew she definitely wasn't some random extra. All around her were a frosty senior brother who cultivated the Heartless Dao, a junior sister who seemed like a hopeless romantic, and an outer-sect junior brother on the classic “useless spiritual root turns into a powerhouse” path. Ye Lanqiu: Hahaha, the tropes are stacked sky-high. Triple-decker doom! No matter how you stack it, I'm doomed! Luckily, she arrived early. To avoid becoming a target for stabbing, an evil supporting female character, or the harem of a domineering male lead, Ye Lanqiu started frantically trying to save herself. … Ye Lanqiu showed warmth to her frosty senior brother and stressed the importance of friendly sectmate relations. The senior brother melted. His expression softened, and Ye Lanqiu received homemade pills, handmade pastries, and several pairs of knitted gloves. Ye Lanqiu: ? What happened to the Heartless Dao? Did it get completely remodeled into the Housewife Dao? … Ye Lanqiu collected cultivation-world stories about “killing your wife to prove the Dao” and stuffed them into her junior sister's hands. She warned her not to pick up strange men on the roadside. From then on, her junior sister drew her sword 0.3 seconds faster whenever she encountered a man. Her heart was colder than someone who'd spent ten years gutting fish at a supermarket. … When her domineering junior brother was being bullied, Ye Lanqiu swooped in from the sky to rescue the beauty. The junior brother stared at her in a daze. “Who are you?” “Your life coach.” Ye Lanqiu grabbed a little blackboard and started drilling him on how a proper man should behave. A man who doesn't respect himself is like a rotten cabbage. At last, when her junior brother started dressing up to his throat and made sure not to show even a sliver of skin, Ye Lanqiu finally got the role she was meant to play. Ye Lanqiu: Foolproof! I've got this in the bag. The System: “You are the cultivation world's savior.” Ye Lanqiu: … Huh? Me? The real domineering male lead was actually her?! Ye Lanqiu had only ever seen people pretend to be weak while hiding their strength. Who could tell her what to do when she was the real deal? … Since everything was already a complete mess, Ye Lanqiu whistled at her rival, a genius sword cultivator. “You're always hanging around me. Don't tell me you have a crush on me?” The cool, aloof young man kept a straight face. Ye Lanqiu: 6 The next second, a comment floated above the young man's head: [Ahhh, the heroine found out! He likes her, he adores her! Say the word and he'll become your number-one dog right away!] Ye Lanqiu: 6 Theme: Be a decent person and take pride in your work.