Yes, Your Majesty! Yes, Your Highness!

This is a fictional setting unrelated to reality. Please don't apply it to the real world.

To the Zerg Federation, the Zerg Empire is a backward entity destined to be swept into the dustbin of history.

To the Zerg Empire, the Zerg Federation is a shameless thief, stealing the Empire's wealth and poaching its talent.

Ever since the day the Zerg Federation declared its founding, the two sides, though of the same species, had fought each other for over a thousand years, incurring a blood feud. They were a vivid illustration of siblings fighting among themselves and wishing they could wipe each other out.

During all this fighting, the Empire changed royal houses four times, while the Federation changed its ruling council every fifty years. Yet the people at the top on both sides weren't very bright, and the wars they commanded turned into a complete mess.

A match made in heaven, if ever there was one.

After years of this farce between two incompetent sides, the Zerg civil war, where each side knew the other inside out and scowled at the mere mention of them, finally seemed close to ending.

The Zerg Empire had originally been vast and powerful, but after working itself into a frenzy over "suppressing the rebels," it suddenly realized the Federation had pulled off a strategy of swapping homelands. The Empire's territory looked larger, but in reality it had traded fertile planets for the Federation's barren rocks! The Imperial Capital, once at the center of its territory, had been pushed to the edge.

Only then did the Emperor look at the reference star systems and notice that his territory had become a cone, with a small head and a huge rear. The sight seemed oddly familiar...

A flash of inspiration struck. The Zerg Empire's Emperor slapped his forehead. "Oh no! I nearly ended up on a northern expedition!"

The sparks from the frontline war were about to reach the Imperial Capital!

The Zerg Empire realized something was wrong and hurried to negotiate peace with the Zerg Federation. It sent diplomats to the Federation in a steady stream, demanding territory, reparations, and tribute, all to demonstrate the Empire's magnanimity: "Sure, you were wrong to rebel, but I'll graciously let myself be your big brother."

Meanwhile, the Zerg Federation's Marshal and President had grown richer and richer, thanks to the "Zerg Empire Interstellar Logistics Company" sending them talent and planets. They read the peace proposal brought by the Empire's diplomat: "If you don't acknowledge me as your big brother, I'll spray you with insecticide. We'll all die together." Though they were deeply unhappy, they ultimately signed it quite cheerfully.

Their strategic objective, "swap homelands with the Empire," had already been achieved. They might have been branded as the defeated side for now, but in the long run, who could say which side had actually won the war?

Thinking of the trap they'd set for the Empire, the Marshal and President happily started choosing planets to plant sunflowers on, preparing to enjoy the Zerg Empire's misfortune in the future.

After several years of ceasefire and development, the Zerg Empire began expanding its territory toward the other side of the universe. As soon as it did, it detected an unusual civilization signal.

The Emperor of the Zerg Empire picked up a note from the female attendant he'd sent to establish diplomatic relations with the unknown civilization. It read: "Zerg civilization, Tiansha Empire, absolute monarchy, females honored and males subordinate, few females and many males..."

A few lines nearly made the Emperor of the Zerg Empire die of anger. His own was also a Zerg civilization and an absolute monarchy, but it honored males over females and had few males and many females.

The Emperor, already intent on killing this Zerg heresy, looked at the last bolded note on the page: "Their strength is like that of gods!"

In an instant, every negative feeling disappeared.

The Emperor of the Zerg Empire knew how to read the room.

Well, they couldn't win.

If you can't beat them, join them!

The Emperor, stuck in his usual way of thinking, immediately sent a marriage proposal to the Emperor of the Tiansha Empire.

Before long, the Tiansha Emperor sent his youngest son and his family, along with a flood of various supplies. He used his money to give his youngest son a grand send-off, while also clearing up the Zerg Empire's negative impression of the Tiansha Empire.

The only problem was that both parties to the marriage looked down on each other a little.

On the wedding day, the Emperor of the Zerg Empire, who had no empress but had three female attendants, looked at his would-be consort, the Prince of Tiansha, and the three male Zerg behind him, the corner of his mouth twitching. Faced with this cultural shock, the Emperor was about to accuse the prince of failing to uphold feminine virtue when the Prince of Tiansha cut him off with a reprimand: "How can you be so disrespectful of the rules for men?" The Emperor was instantly shattered.

This politically advantageous marriage between a female and a male didn't turn out as the Tiansha Emperor had wished: "You two just need to make a good life together, and nothing else matters." Instead, they fought and clawed at each other every day at home, often dragging their pre-marital partners into the fray. The Emperor's female attendants and the Prince of Tiansha's male companions were frequently taken by ambulance to the hospital, where they ended up in the same ward.

The more often female attendants and male companions shared a hospital room, the stranger things got. As things went back and forth, not only could their romantic connections multiply on their own, but they could also ensnare several Zerg at once.

After years of open and covert struggles, the Emperor and the Prince of Tiansha reached an impasse where neither could do anything to the other. They decided to set their differences aside and each do their own thing.

But when they turned around, they saw that their backyards were on fire, and the flames were still raging.

The Zerg Federation's citizens had been watching silently the whole time, munching on the sunflower seeds the government handed out for free as they followed the melodramatic spectacle put on by the Tiansha Empire and the Zerg Empire.

The Zerg Federation's ruling council, made up of one military, one union, one cabinet, and two houses (the military, the industrial union, the cabinet, the upper house, and the lower house), took out its knockoff crown and polished it again. As they enjoyed the show, they continued fantasizing about the Federation annexing both empires, establishing a constitutional monarchy, and uniting all the Zerg.

[This story is not suitable for readers who need content warnings.]

[Assume that whatever I write will be a trigger for you. If it traumatizes you, I'm not responsible.]

Theme: In this lifetime