When a Joker Becomes a Female Alpha

Transmigration? So cliche!

ABO? So cliche!

System? So cliche!

The protagonist is me? So cliche!

I transmigrated to another world, underwent super-evolution and grew a dick, and on top of that, cultural incompatibility turned me from a top-tier exam ace into a white-socked athlete.

With no chance to take the college entrance exam, the military academy transferred my records directly. I was a female alpha who should have been assigned to a second-tier military branch, but my cultural scores were so low I got kicked straight into the Space Force's main force.

You old crooks at the recruitment office! How could you humiliate me like this?

Two months into my service, a Total Top System suddenly appeared in my head and immediately told me to bend over the other five male alphas in my dorm.

The System offered some delightful rewards.

But as I stared at their shirt collars, yellowed with sweat, and their white socks, dried on the balcony until they could be used as machetes, my already overheated brain completely exploded after I caught a whiff of all the weird smells in the air. I tore off my undershirt and went over to fight them.

"You filthy pieces of shit! You didn't use deodorizing spray again, did you? You're using your body odor as a bio-weapon to poison me so you can replace me as squad leader, aren't you?"

"Fuck! You smelly woman, can't you watch your mouth? My pheromones may stink, but they don't smell like body odor!"

"You stink worse than body odor! My eyes are burning out of my head!"

Every day in the ABO world brings a new shock.

And awakening my System only shocked me even more.

That Total Top System is like some kind of obsessive card collector. Whenever I meet someone, as long as they're alive, it tells me to go bend them over, regardless of gender. I seriously can't deal with this.

Doesn't this thing do any background checks?

I'm Yu Huaile, the military's celibacy-promotion ambassador and a part-time discipline officer. I've caught thousands, if not tens of thousands, of wild AA, AB, BB, and BA couples in toilets, bathrooms, and on hillsides. I always urge people to come to their senses and live chastely, with "lust is a knife that scrapes the bones" constantly on my lips. Expecting me to build a harem would be a complete waste of resources.

A funny troublemaker like me doesn't need someone else interfering with my life.

I kept insisting on that for decades.

Until I made a name for myself and went on a blind date.

The person Dad arranged for me was love at first sight.

"Gah! Major General Yu! Hold it together! Hold it together! Lust is a knife that scrapes the bones!"

"It's fine! I've got strong bones! They can take it!"

My wife and I had a typical marriage for the ABO world: one blind date, a 99% pheromone match, and the authorities stamping their approval on it right away.

We hadn't even spent many days together or gotten to know each other properly before we were tied together for life!

An arranged marriage in a sci-fi setting, this is really...

"Major General Yu, please stop grinning. This is the fourth wedding photo we've had to throw away!"

Marriage had one other advantage: that damn System stopped yelling in my head and telling me to go out and have sex parties. I spent quite a long time snuggling with my wife.

Then my honeymoon ended, I went back to work, and that damn System started singing the Tantan tune in my head again.

"Aaaah! Host! That's what you get for not listening to me! You're going to follow the original character's plot again!"

"What?"

"Aaaah! You're about to be acknowledged by the royal family! Your mom is an utterly shameless female alpha and the emperor! You're about to become Prince Chang, watching your wife and your biological mother carry on their affair until the end of the world!"

"Huh? So my surname really is Li, not Yu!"

"That's not the point!"

Anyway, things are a little complicated.

After being born into this world and getting a System, I stacked on yet another buff: my true identity is a cannon-fodder character in an ABO novel about a domineering CEO and his pampered wife.

My wife is the story's biggest villain. And not the kind who opposes the CEO through business or political intrigue, or trips up the pampered wife and makes life difficult for them. She's a real powerhouse who almost overthrew the monarchy.

All I can say is, damn, she's amazing. How can you call someone this progressive a villain? Just because the CEO is the emperor, does that mean the monarchy has to last forever?

Even if the "CEO" is my biological mother and the "pampered wife" is my biological father, I still have to stand on the side of human progress.

But the problem is, my wife might not even be human.

Gah, just thinking about it is thrilling. What do I do? I love her even more.

[Extra]

Life's greatest sorrow flows eastward.

Only today do I know who I am.

Funny troublemaker alpha Yu Huaile x indescribable female omega Ru Yan

[This novel is not suitable for readers who need content warnings.]

[Assume I write things you find triggering. If you get wrecked, that's not my responsibility.]