A Record of a Mortal's Journey to Immortality: Song Yu's Cultivation Journey

I like these two things very much. I've read a lot of mortal fandoms, and most of them have system glitches or similar artifacts. Many of their effects are similar to those of elixirs that promote ripening. In addition, they either work as nannies for Old Demon Han or as licking dogs. Obviously, there are those who are so powerful.

It made me laugh. Either don't write or lick it. I almost succeeded in surrounding and killing Han Li, but failed and picked myself out again. Do the three Yunmeng sects support each other? The fire dragon offended Han Li's ancient sword sect and still wants to run away? No matter what they say, their position is probably on your side. Self-hypnosis, thinking that everything is over, the protagonist goes to force Han Li to trade with Dongfu property, pretending and standing up, looking like a diaosi who repeatedly tests the bottom line but is afraid of overturning. As long as you insist on fucking Han Li or licking him openly, that's fine, but the two ends are the most disgusting. It's so annoying, it's frustrating to watch.

To be honest, I always feel that the protagonist's mentality and concept have not changed yet. The hugging thing is right, but on some things, the protagonist still has no room to bargain. For example, the protagonist in the Dan-formation stage has no right to refuse the request of Lord Dayan, unless it endangers his own life or ruins his own path. (If Dayan wants Zi Ling, then he will satisfy him. The protagonist has no right to refuse.) Also, although the author said that he thinks that spiritual veins and the aura of heaven and earth are not important, I don't think so. Otherwise, why is it so difficult for people to even produce a god-transforming monk now? Isn't it caused by the lack of spiritual energy in heaven and earth? So Han Li said that it was impossible to go to a sect without Nascent Soul monks, because it was impossible to have good spiritual veins there, and the remote and remote area of ​​Tiannan had long been carved up by all the major forces. In the end, for Han Li, the best choice was to return to the Yun Sect... Huang Maple Valley was the second option, because Linghu was about to die of old age, and he would not be able to have a baby there and be the shopkeeper, and the land in Beiliang Kingdom did not seem to be good.

Can't articles written by women's videos be submitted to women's videos? Do you have to vote for male videos? Inexplicable

Han Li's handling of this aspect was a failure. I feel it's a bit difficult to build a good relationship in the future.

There was Ben Mei Ning in front of me. To be honest, I don't think much of this type of writing. A man wears a woman's clothes and then writes the original character, aloof, cold, arrogant or tender-hearted, into a tomboy like Long Aotian. I don't want to read a story about beauty and pure femininity. At least you have to be neutral and don't write the male protagonist who changes into a woman's clothes 🪖

The writing is pretty good, there are no particularly bad points, and it's considered enough food among mortal fan fiction.

The author is very thoughtful! Song Yu is suitable for being a heroine, but not for being a protagonist. Everyone who writes heroines does not have very good results!

There are a lot of detail issues, which are poisonous points for some people 1. If you don't want the free SSR, it doesn't mean that you have to go with Han Li, but your handling method is too hasty, and it will be written on your face by killing Han Li and taking the small green bottle. If you don't follow the protagonist of the original work, doesn't it mean that you have to, the relationship will deteriorate, kill people to seize treasures, and the most basic social relationship must be killing and threatening? You can trade fairly, you can treat him as if he doesn't exist, you can treat him as a backdrop 2. Many of the protagonist's abilities are basically ineffective, and the performance conflicts with the setting, as if he knows nothing at all 3. When trading with Han Li, it can be said that according to the original work, the protagonist will definitely be included in Han Li's must-kill list 4. The protagonist thinks that he has taken so many tricks against Han Li, so why doesn't Han Li kill the protagonist? The protagonist in the book has mentioned more than once that Han Li must retaliate, but the protagonist who has read the original book does not know that Han Li must repay kindness? My mind is full of little green bottles, bro, the first time I killed Han Li, and the subsequent actions of the protagonist, any normal person can definitely guess that he is the protagonist or is related to the protagonist 5. Many things in the original work come out with open mouth and pretend to be very sophisticated. I am not saying no, but, can you think about it beforehand? Use your brain? Even if you make up some random wording? Or is there a premise? You created the protagonist to be exactly the same as the protagonist in the ancient novel about fighting on the street. It cannot be said that he is similar, but he is carved from the same mold 6. You are too self-righteous and take it for granted; twenty or thirty years later, when Mulan invaded, how could you, who had just become the Nascent Soul, preserve everything? What to resist? I have only seen so much for the time being. For me, the only thing that can be called poisonous is when you kill Han Li in a round. You have read the original work for the setting of the protagonist. How can you be so hasty?

White Phoenix Fairy