I Order You to Become the Cult Leader

I read the first volume in one go. My evaluation is that the first volume is very good overall. Although there are still problems in some places, overall the flaws are not concealed. What I like most is the small details and descriptions written by the author, which really touched my heart. For example: Vanessa is like a shrimp cooked by regret, and the doctor revealed the details that Winnie is a pregnant woman (the protagonist group does not know). And some of the humorous points created by the author are also very interesting. For example, Elegy's basement monster gag. These places can really affect my emotions, make me feel sad, feel funny, and even laugh out loud in bed. I really like the author's handling of individual plot points and his writing skills. The less than satisfactory part lies in the connection between these highlight plot points. Some parts are handled too quickly, and the characters and readers jump impatiently to the next plot before they can savor the emotions. The rhythm of the whole book, especially the switching between tense plots and relaxing chapters, is too frequent and violent, like a roller coaster ride. Although the story focuses on conflicts and ups and downs, after reading the whole story, I felt that some parts were handled too hastily. It gave me the feeling that the outline written by the author was a designed plot point one by one. Each plot point was like a bus stop, and the protagonist group hurried from one stop to the next, exhausted, as if they were catching the last bus. In my humble opinion, in some cases, the author should make more use of his writing skills, slow down the plot a little, let the characters and readers reflect on the emotions, and a transition of emotions is not a bad thing (it is not water!) In fact, after seeing this, I think the whole book is quite good. But at the end of the first volume, the author gave me a big thumbs up (face covering). I can understand the author's desire to change the map in the next volume, expand the worldview and background, and introduce more new characters and stories. I can also understand that the author wants a reasonable and unexpected super development to express that the enemy the protagonist group has to fight is not a specific individual, but an abstract, pathological society and system. Their revenge is not to kill someone, but to end the poison of an idea to all human beings in the entire society. I even understand that the author wants to leave a hook at the end of this volume - by putting Vanessa into the dilemma of extreme aging, giving the protagonists a reason and motivation to take action to restore her health. But the plot at the end of the volume (the assassination of a nobleman in a theater) that these originally well-intentioned ideas are finally combined together makes readers like me feel like they have a lump in their throats, as if their mouths were opened and they were force-fed some mysterious substances that are not suitable for human consumption. Why I feel uncomfortable with this plot, I briefly analyzed the reasons: The transition of the plot is insufficient, the emotional brewing is not enough, and the advancement of the plot is far-fetched. What is the big plot point before the assassination is carried out? It is the plot of the Creation Society, but this part is a temporary insertion of dumpling vinegar and does not count. What about further up? It is the curse of the Sacrifice Elegy. Entering a dream, you can obtain various props to enhance your strength. The development of Tantric Buddhism is on the right track, it is beginning to grow, and its future is bright. Crow's sister is waiting for Vanessa to save, and it doesn't seem to be that difficult. After this steadily developing plot, the situation took a turn for the worse. The protagonist group recklessly executed an assassination, and then fled in embarrassment to change maps. I can see that the author made a conscious transition between these two plot points (the development of the secret cult and the execution of the assassination), but the actual effect still looks very rushed and deliberate. The transition described by the author: 1-The family was confiscated by the tax bureau (cutting off all options and worries). 2-The body of his best friend was forced to be moved to the grave, which made the protagonist group feel angry and wanted revenge. I think the transition here is a bit stiff. First of all, if your home is gone, you can consider temporarily borrowing the ceremony venue from Elegy, or consider renting an apartment. With the financial support of the male protagonist, this is not a very difficult thing. The fact that her home was plundered and her best friend's body was forced to be moved to a grave can indeed arouse Vanessa's anger. But the problem is that she has no clear revenge goal at all, let alone relevant intelligence support. At this time, Vanessa simply wanted to vent her anger, just like a child who wants to cry and vent his temper after someone breaks his toy. From this point of view, Vanessa's so-called "assassination of big shots" is actually no different from Rosicrucian who directly bombed the theater indiscriminately. And another question is, neither the male protagonist nor the crow with the rationality buff noticed the recklessness and blindness of this action? The male protagonist can be said to be offline. Originally he just wanted to test the intelligence, but it turned into an armed attack. Crow doesn't really think there's anything wrong with it? What will you do about your sister's illness if Vanessa dies? Also, even if we take a step back, Vanessa's reasons for deciding to launch the assassination are sufficient and her emotions are in place. But there is still one flaw in the plot at the end of the volume. After the male protagonist left the scene for some reason, the female protagonist Vanessa lost the "divine guidance" and could only make decisions by her own will at this critical moment. What readers are looking forward to is to witness Vanessa's growth and use her perspective that is different from that of the male protagonist to deal with some things that were originally handled by the male protagonist, but the effect is not necessarily better. (For example, the previous heroine rescued the old man because of her kindness, and thus got the opportunity to contact the extraordinary). What readers are looking forward to is that without the guidance of the male protagonist, without the deus ex machina of the time traveler, a mortal like Vanessa and her fellow mortals alone can accomplish an impossible feat (although he did kill a noble and escaped, but you can hardly call this a victory). Then Vanessa exposed her butt at this highlight moment when she should have shown her face (covering her face). To be honest, Vanessa did nothing wrong during the assassination, but she basically did nothing of positive significance. As far as the result is concerned, her reckless action was a loss. Like I said before. If you want to change the map, no problem. If you want to write that the real enemy of the protagonist is this sick society, rather than a specific individual, no problem. If you want to write about Vanessa falling into an aging state after overdraft, leaving a hook for the subsequent plot, that's no problem. The problem lies in putting these three together. If Vanessa really takes revenge (fulfills her obsession), even if she later overdraws and ages (pays the price) in order to escape. Readers will feel relieved. If Vanessa finds that what she is fighting against is not a specific individual, but the entire world. But no injuries, or just a relatively small and acceptable cost (like becoming Doraemon again). Readers will also be shocked by the feeling of this pattern suddenly opening up, which is also very good. But the current situation is: 1-Vanessa failed to complete her revenge (no results) 2-The body is overdrawn and aging (paying the price and the matter that led to Sister Crow's treatment was not settled) 3-And Vanessa herself did not perform very well in the action (even the initiator of reckless decisions) This is a catastrophic moment in my opinion. An analogy to an example. Li Yunlong aggressively attacked Ping'an County. His own troops and those of neighboring troops suffered heavy casualties. After he ordered the artillery fire and killed his wife, he discovered that Ping'an County was actually a trap. The county itself was not of much value, but the intelligence found in the county showed that the Japanese army had a deeper conspiracy, which Li Yunlong urgently needed to solve. Is it okay for the story to develop like this? Can. Are readers happy to read it? Not happy. Moreover, they will feel that the author is promoting the plot for the sake of promoting the plot, and they will think that the heroine is stupid. Vanessa can be stupid, she can fail, she can be willful, she can be stubborn, she can not listen to the hero. But she cannot be stupid when she is willful, and she cannot fail when she is stubborn. People are always more tolerant of winners. And this sentence is the same in reverse. At the end of the first volume, the male protagonist was forced to leave, and Vanessa took the lead alone, on a grand stage that should have witnessed Vanessa's transformation from confusion to growth. Vanessa chose to be reckless and willful. She didn't lose, but she didn't win either. No growth.

What attracted me the most in the early stages of this book was actually the following four points 1. The contrast between the safe and comfortable life enjoyed by the protagonist's aristocratic status and the miserable life of the characters he controlled 2. The contrast between the characters controlled by the protagonist who had to escape death and paid a huge price to obtain the extraordinary power, but the protagonist could prostitute for nothing 3. The characters controlled by the protagonist wanted to rewrite the tragedy, but were unable to save others. Power, in a word, contrasts with the protagonist, who even just reveals his background, or even has incredible extraordinary power that can easily change the fate of everyone. 4. The people controlled by the protagonist have to fight hard, struggle, and face dangers, while the protagonist sits firmly on the Diaoyutai, is extremely safe but can get something for nothing It can be said without mercy that the source of these refreshing points is the pain of other characters compared with the protagonist. In fact, the protagonist's wealth, power, and strength are greatly displayed in these stories! According to the development of the plot, there will be beautiful female characters one after another with tragic stories and desperate fates, who will be saved by the protagonist's power. I am a secular person, and I will naturally feel happy when I see such a story. I also accept and like this kind of rescue routine The reason why I am commenting today is because there are three things that I am more concerned about. Firstly, the recent death of the protagonist personally has put the protagonist in some danger. I hope the author can avoid any subsequent plots that undermine the sense of security or fail to meet the standards. The second is to control the character to explore, which I can accept. Although I can accept that the protagonist and the controlled character are real offline, I believe some people cannot accept this. Third, is Miss Poetry Club's emotional line too fast? I'm still waiting to see what tragic story lies beneath Miss Diva's glamorous appearance. I wish the author to write better and better

It is obviously based on the setting of the Esoteric Cult. Why does Victoria's suffering, which has existed for a long time, be involved in the beheading line? Is it a disease that makes people think of the beheading line when looking at corpses?

Life is endless The pain subsided and my voice disappeared with it, but now my heart speaks for me. On the scale of time, it should be weighed less than a feather without being disqualified. I shall pass through the three-pointed door in my final form, and merge my heartbeat into the chorus of Thunder Skin. Our rhythm is the rhythm of Si Chen: Si Chen promises that we will coexist with the world without end. I travel through Mansu forever, letting eternity confirm my permanence.

I have read a lot of esoteric texts, and so far, they are either not pure enough and can only be said to have some esoteric elements, or there are mostly eunuchs in the series during my lifetime, or they have a negative ending, which ends when Zhou Mufei Changsheng is written. Can the author write about Fei Guming or even Si Chen, or even the supreme being of an era?

What is the protagonist's preparation like? Blade, cup, heart, lamp, cast, winter, start?

The atmosphere in the opening and early stages is very good, and the ideas are great. It made me think I had encountered fairy grass. However, at this time, the problems on the protagonist's side have begun to become prominent, and it can already be felt that the protagonist is a bit like an NPC. I thought that the writing would get better and better in the future, but it turned out that the end of the first volume was too big. The idea of ​​this book and the author's writing style are worthy of recognition, but the handling of rhythm changes still needs to be improved. The foreshadowing at the end of the first volume and before it needs to be changed, otherwise a group of subsequent readers will still be eliminated here. Unfortunately, no wonder I saw this book in the introduction.

I feel that the author's thinking is still solidified. In this extraordinary society, first using aristocratic resources to enhance divine power, and then using divine power to strengthen virtue, or using divine power to supervise social operations, can subtly improve society without even too much bloodshed and sacrifice, and the male protagonist appears too early , which makes it impossible to write later. It suddenly moved the male protagonist's superior position to the level of playing with the inferiors. The interaction is more like that of the inferiors. The strength is connected with the female protagonist. It is not consistent with the golden finger's ability. It is too weak. The male protagonist seems to have ideals, but his actions are similar to playing with mud.

1. Regarding the imbalance between the two lines and the slow growth of the male protagonist: This is essentially an imbalance between "golden fingers" and "realism". The author tried to create suspense and room for growth through "information asymmetry", but the rhythm was out of control. What readers expected was "intellectual games" and "resource integration", but what they saw was an infinitely long "novice tutorial". If the male protagonist always stays in the "ignorant exploration" stage, and Vanessa's line is too independent and plump, the two lines will not be able to form an effective resonance, and will only make the male protagonist's line seem draggy and hollow, making it difficult to establish a sense of substitution. 2. Regarding the logical rupture of Vanessa's line: The bluntness of "class slippage" and the "killing line" in the article are the key. In the rigorously set quasi-Victorian era, even if a university teaching assistant loses his job, his social relationships, intellectual capital and class inertia will not instantly collapse into a homeless state. Using "forgetting to ask for help" to explain is too childish and weakens the heaviness of the times. The concept that "life is not as valuable as death", if not supported by a supporting and solid underlying economic structure, belief system or special worldview, will appear like a "plot tool" forcibly set up to create dramatic conflicts, lacking a convincing social texture. In general, the concept of this work has bright spots, but in its execution, there is a sense of fragmentation of "setting giving way to the plot": on the one hand, it wants to depict a harsh and textured different world, but on the other hand, in order to quickly advance the character's dilemma and create conflicts, it sacrifices social logic and the self-consistency of the character's behavior. The "slowness" of the male protagonist and the "hardness" of the supporting characters together lead to the failure of readers' expectations - what we want to see is the "collision of wisdom" and the "curtain of the times", but what we actually get is "confused spectatorship" and "abrupt turns". The success of this type of theme often lies in: allowing the "modern thinking" of the time traveler to collide with the "iron wall of rules" of a different world, using resourcefulness and insight to leverage the situation, and at the same time allowing the internal logic of both worlds to be self-explanatory. Obviously, this work still staggers a bit on both roads.

Control your book and learn from experience and lessons. After all, this is really a good subject. It just depends on whether you can control it. If you have the energy, add more. If you don't have the energy, just straighten the writing ideas, outline and editing