Swallowed Star: The Battle-Flame God

The Flame Emperor was no saint. First, he was selfish and attacked his own clan's powerful members, which led to his expulsion from the human race (otherwise, who would drive away a Lord of the Universe?). Second, despite being a Lord of the Universe, he only occupied one secret realm for the Flame God's people to reproduce and survive.

The protagonist can apply for a spot as a disciple of the Yan Emperor's Mountain Guest. The Mountain Guest has already lost faith in the Yan Emperor. As long as the protagonist surpasses the Yan Emperor's achievements before becoming the Lord of the Universe, he will have a chance. Theoretically, any member of the Yan God Clan has a chance, as long as they demonstrate extremely strong talent in the divine power school!

That doesn't make sense. Both Koti and Luo Feng have reached the 20th level of understanding of the laws. Luo Feng possesses the Nine Tribulations Secret Manual; does Coty have it? Luo Feng had the power to kill Wu, but did Coty have that power? Does Luo Feng have the Flame God Clan General Armor and King Armor? Does Coty have them?

The story revolves around constantly comparing the protagonist to Luo Feng, emphasizing that the protagonist is stronger than Luo Feng, and then repeatedly comparing them to Luo Feng again. It's basically the same old formula. People who read your fanfiction have already read the original novel; there's no need for you to keep elaborating.

No... How did this mercenary group come up with this idea? Don't you know how big the universe is? With just a few people like you, you're going to work as a mercenary? For most ethnic groups, the problem is either resolved through internal competition and self-sufficiency, or it's a direct ethnic conflict. How could you even think of setting up separate branches?

... Please revise the description; it makes me lose all desire to click on it.

The beginning was well-written, and the concept of "Battle Heart" was excellent. However, after Luo Feng's birth, the author fawns over him and gives away one great opportunity after another. This is fanfiction! Can't you write your own book a little better? Can't you continue writing without fawning over him? Readers can easily understand the meaning of "Battle Heart."

The writing is alright, but it stubbornly refuses to correct many common-sense errors. Adding secondary settings is fine, but altering the original settings and talking to oneself is just annoying.

Giant Axe admires them, but since they're not on the same side, why be soft-hearted? Wouldn't it be better to wait until Giant Axe falls before offering to protect humanity?

Author, when writing about the world of Jin, please stop pacing it. If you keep pacing it, no one will read it. This Luo Feng isn't the Luo Feng from the original world. I don't like this Luo Feng; the original Luo Feng was loyal and righteous.