Ashes of the Immortal Path

I read Chapter 10, and I find it incredible that the male protagonist's mother donated her ancestral property. She has a scholarly family background and has been an official for generations. Is there anyone in China who doesn't understand what these two things mean? It means a huge collective clan force with at least a thousand people. It is broken down into main branches and branches, and there are several rooms such as the first room, the second room, etc., As well as the clan leader and elders. It's not even a woman's turn to donate!

The part where the main character's mother donates the family property is a little bit cruel. It's a bit depressing to write this kind of aristocratic family as if they were similar to peasant women. Also, what kind of thing is it to directly write an aristocratic family? The family of nine generations of officials has been connected for hundreds of years, but a woman with a foreign surname is allowed to donate the family's property at will? Are you afraid you're dreaming? And after getting it back, it could be donated again. Twice before and after, I almost spit out a mouthful of old blood.

It's better to kill decisively. The mountain god wants to eat the protagonist. After being defeated, he says a few words about why it was not easy for him, and the protagonist forgives him...

The protagonist was too "innocent" and I got inexplicably angry and ran away.

I wanted to scold the protagonist for not being worthy of being a modern person, for simply being a fish that slipped through the nine-year compulsory education system, but he really was, and I had no words to scold him.

The author's writing is very good, but it feels like the protagonist is a headless fly with no main line and no thoughts of his own.

Ah, I feel like I'm eating jelly. As soon as I taste some sweetness, it slips into my stomach, so I need a big bag of jelly. Speaking of this, I thought about the days in the production team. It was hard at that time, but everyone was very hardworking, even the donkeys in the team were very hardworking. Looking at it now, alas, the world is declining, morals are corrupt, and the hard-working people are starving for their brains all day long. You think so, Comrade Xiaopeng. 😏

Good. Well written. However, it does seem a bit rushed. Changing maps to do things is a bit frequent. The first impression is a bit eccentric. I suggest the author not to change maps too frequently. There are also levels, which are clearly divided and what level of enemies to fight. How to defeat the boss. Think well. The reader's feelings will definitely be unbearable. If you come up and directly open the world map, it is too big and has too many things. It is better to write like a tomato. As your strength increases, expand the map little by little. The key is that the protagonist plays in the same power. Many are written in the beginning of a power. How to play. You have no power, you are too free. Readers, it's hard to substitute. Another protagonist's goal is not very clear. They left half of the group under the banner of Guangming Cult. Go play Cult of Bones. This is very speechless. The world you set is so bad. The situation is so bad. In the early stage of the protagonist's life, the main thing is not to improve his strength. Even if he wants to be saved by the Holy Mother, it will only happen after he becomes a boss, right? What ability can do what? The protagonist's actions are very anti-human. Practice first, then kill. The major flaw is that the protagonist's actions are a bit too arrogant. Set up the main line and complete small tasks one by one. In a force, it would be better if the goal is clear and the villain is clear. I also write about opportunities, giving the impression that there is no use after taking the opportunity. After taking the opportunity, it's time to kill the villain. Pretending to be B. This writing is very anti-human. Others are fine. First, the map is changed too frequently, and the protagonist's goal is unclear. The behavior is a bit anti-human and abnormal. Two, the main line is not clear, the protagonist is too floating, and the goals are not systematic. It's no use after taking the opportunity. Three, there are too many things. It is strongly recommended to start with a small map and small forces. Conflicts will lead to other small forces and big forces, and big conflicts. After that, the protagonist will expand while fighting. Author, what a great book. They are all the protagonists. Why don't you put the protagonist into a faction? Mainstream fantasy all starts like this. This substitution is more comfortable. With great power, there are many immortals. It won't affect your Xianxia flavor. It is difficult to become an immortal, and it will not always be the case in the future. Golden immortals are not as good as dogs. It's like you borrowed the article to copy the cover of Gongqi Luck. The master of copywriting also puts the protagonist into a small force and talks about it. It's okay to join a force not just for the skills, but for the resources. There are many benefits to expanding like this. Finally. Come on author! You can break your writing habit! Writing, charm, you can do it all. And very good. Substitution, structure, plot. You're really close. Moreover, the protagonist's goals and actions are a bit troubling. Maybe it will be better to do some fantasy routines. Finally, there is another important point. Accurate. I don't know what it's like to feel better. The protagonist acted as fiercely as a tiger, but was defeated by the villain in the end. It was like a 250-year-old. Write it for fun. It should be that the author has thought of this cool point, the protagonist defeats the villain. Then, the plot is written to serve this pleasure. Conclusion, although the author's book has problems of one kind or another. But I really like your Xianxia. When did the author stop following the so-called Tao? Use those fantasy upgrade routines. When will the author be able to fly? For example, The Wilderness of Tomato is also a fairy tale, using fantasy routines. Only writing the final chapter of the Three Realms will allow the author to reach V5 level. It's so heartbreaking to see the author rushing around. Not vomiting, not happy. Obviously powerful. Just because the structure and plot don't work. What a pity. Why not switch to a fantasy novel routine? Come on, come on. I like your Xianxia very much!

The author of the classical fairy tale mainly focuses on cultivating Taoism. Stop fighting all the time. If you haven't finished killing in the east, you come to the west to kill. I feel that there is still a key problem. The protagonist's positioning of his own strength is too vague and he always takes risks.

The 80th subscriber... I like to watch this kind of pure fairy type, without mixed elements, come on