Blunt Reviews of Every Novel I've Read 开坑钝评看过的所有小说

1. 1 全 Raft Survival: I Won by Lying Down with a Mermaid Buff 全民海上求生，但满级大佬 Wushan Is Poisonous巫山有毒Danmei (BL)931k WordsCompleted Blurb for my next novel, Becoming a Big Shot in a Road Survival Game, at the end. [Welcome to the Ocean Survival World.] [This game will determine the survival of the human race. Players must survive the challenges ahead. Clear the game to return to reality; fail, and all of humanity will be wiped out. All players are advised to proceed with caution.] Climate anomalies, ocean pollution, global warming... After humanity turns Blue Star into a wasteland, the ocean survival game suddenly arrives. 51.1kFavorites53.6kClicks/ch112.7kGifts

   Curator note

   It feels like a game log update, not very engaging. The protagonist starts with maxed-out talent points, becoming a mermaid in a post-apocalyptic ocean, building his sense of superiority on the survival of ordinary people, and yet he's still admired. Isn't this just a new form of sycophantic worship of the wealthy? It evokes the absurdity of Trump treating videos of displaced Iranians like electronic pickled vegetables—it's physically uncomfortable.

2. 2 哥 Brother, You’re Not Allowed to Hit My Husband!! 哥你不许打我老公！！ Liu Chu流初Danmei (BL)606k WordsCompleted [Signed with Jinjiang for the Simplified Chinese edition + an unabridged Traditional Chinese edition. Currently collecting suggestions for the print title and bonus chapters… Leave a comment in the Weibo Super Topic for “Bro, You’re Not Allowed to Hit My Husband,” or search for @LiuchuGugu. I’ll read them all! Anyone whose suggestion is chosen will receive a signed copy!] [I’ve finally finished revising the novel. The author is only responsible for the official Jinjiang edition. Please don’t con 198.1kFavorites177.3kClicks/ch241.4kGifts

   Curator note

   Pig sculpture attack, interesting and good-looking.

3. 3 微 I Choose Who Gets to Be The Emperor 微臣选谁谁才是皇上 Vanishing Green Moss消失绿缇Danmei (BL)761k WordsCompleted Wen Zhuo, head of the Hanlin Academy, was born into poverty and suffered constant bullying until his personality became twisted. He had a taste for men. Just then, the old emperor fell gravely ill, and the seven princes formally began their struggle for the throne. The Sixth Prince suddenly declared that there was nothing shameful about loving someone of the same sex. Once he ascended the throne, he would allow open discussion and set the record straight. Wen Zhuo believed him. He stirred up tu 287.4kFavorites263.7kClicks/ch521.6kGifts

   Curator note

   If you're also experiencing a reading slump, you can give this a try. Amidst a sea of completed novels on the bestseller list, at least it won't leave me feeling angry and lamenting that money has been wasted. As for political intrigue, sorry, I've criticized Nirvana in Fire for so long, but it turns out there are even more childish political intrigue stories.

4. 4 小 [Dream of the Red Chamber] I'm Just a Rough Fellow [红楼]小爷我是个粗人 duoduoDanmei (BL)504k WordsCompleted Duoma has a new story. "The First Slacker of Daxuan" Lin Xi got lucky with this reincarnation. Born in a peaceful and prosperous age, she was destined to be a wealthy idlebones with blessings, longevity, and good fortune. Add a golden finger on top, and her life was set! All she had to do was lie around, eat, and enjoy life until she died. Sixteen years later, Lin Xi stepped outside the imperial city for the first time. Seeing refugees along the road, sh 27.8kFavorites126.7kClicks/ch51kGifts

   Curator note

   The beginning was watchable enough, but why did the climax turn into a Wolf Warrior movie? 💔

5. 5 穿 I Transmigrated into a Terrible Drama to Take the Imperial Exams 穿进雷剧考科举 Li Siwei李思危Danmei (BL)632k WordsCompleted [New story now available: "I’m Here to Hook Up on a Dating Reality Show"] What’s it like to be reborn into a disastrously bad drama full of obvious green-screen shots? First, a general hides a sword in his crotch, then a princess competes to become the kingdom’s top courtesan. The emperor refers to himself by his posthumous title in every other sentence, and the passersby are so blurry you can’t tell them apart… The worst part is that Cheng Yan discovers he’s become a villainous extra who’s d 55.8kFavorites132.6kClicks/ch77.6kGifts

   Curator note

   Although I transmigrated into a ridiculous drama, the plot was quite logical. The money was spent a bit excessively, and there were a lot of instances of vomiting blood, but otherwise it was pretty normal. 9.3

6. 6 保 Protecting Our Villain Script 保护我方反派剧本 Your Glory你的荣光Danmei (BL)1.2M WordsCompleted Meng Xizhao transmigrated into an unfamiliar dynasty and became the son of a first-rank official. Before he could celebrate his sudden wealth and status, he discovered: His father, a first-rank official, was a notorious villain. His mother, a duke's daughter, was a famous shrew. His beloved older brother had cheated his way through the imperial exams, and aspired to become the most corrupt official in the dynast 66kFavorites102.8kClicks/ch60.5kGifts

   Curator note

   I think it's okay, but the epilogue is quite controversial. The initial setup wasn't strong enough, and the later parts didn't feel right. Overall, 9.1.

7. 7 C C Language Cultivation C语言修仙 Fourteen Continents一十四洲Danmei (BL)519k WordsCompleted Lin Xun is a programmer. After coding through the night, he discovers a program input window inside his body. He tries writing a loop. The next day, the old man next door comes to see him. “Xun, you’re so young, yet you’ve already entered the Qi Refining stage. How about becoming my disciple?” On the third day, someone taps him on the shoulder in the street. “Young man, you have extraordinary bones. How about joining my sect?” Lin Xun: ??? Later, he discovers that cultivators really do exist in 465.8kFavorites666.8kClicks/ch510.5kGifts

   Curator note

   This is the best I've seen recently, but I felt the humor was a bit depressing, like something out of The Truman Show. It's not suitable for people with high-pressure jobs; I was already stressed enough to end up in the hospital before I finished it 💔

8. 8 真 Real or Fake Young Master? They Are All Younger Brothers! 真假少爷？都是弟弟！ Listening to the Pines, Recalling Old Times听松叙旧Danmei (BL)525k WordsCompleted As a young child, Liu Yunbao dreamed of a story about a real young master and a fake one. The real young master had his life turned upside down and was full of grievances. The fake young master learned the truth one day and couldn’t accept it. And he was the real young master’s adopted elder brother, the fake young master’s biological older brother, and a genuine farm boy with dirt under his nails! Liu Yun waved a hand. “Real young master, fake young master, they’re both just my little brothe 83.5kFavorites81kClicks/ch149.1kGifts

   Curator note

   A 9.0-point thrilling novel. The male lead's cheat ability is too strong, give me some points, I'm a working stiff.

9. 9 师 Martial Uncle, This Is the Modern World, Please Behave Yourself 师叔，这是现代，请自重 Caramel Winter Melon焦糖冬瓜Danmei (BL)825k WordsCompleted [Modern Urban Fantasy and the Supernatural] Ye Linshuang transmigrated from the age of cultivation to three thousand years in the future alongside his martial uncle, where spiritual energy is scarce and the 996 grind crushes his spine. But why did his martial uncle transmigrate into the body of a wealthy, handsome, wildly popular movie emperor with countless followers, while Ye Linshuang ended up as a university lecturer perpetually short on cash, teaching boring folklore during work hours and 66.1kFavorites65.7kClicks/ch62.7kGifts

   Curator note

   The premise was quite interesting, and the beginning of the story was also intriguing. However, it got increasingly weak as it went on, leaving me feeling exhausted.

10. 10 这 You Don't Ship Them? 这你都不嗑？ Ma Hu Zijun马户子君Danmei (BL)229k WordsCompleted ■ A print edition has been signed. Follow @Zonggong Mahuzi_lvz for updates. [Author's notes include a silly mini-play and a recap of the jokes. Double the fun when you open them!] Jian Mingzhou graduated from a prestigious university, was good-looking, and had a friendly manner. In the eyes of outsiders, he was practically perfect. But there was one thing nobody knew: he loved reading boys' love. After graduation, Jian Mingzhou li 340.5kFavorites408.7kClicks/ch330.9kGifts

    Curator note

    There's not much to say about this; it's a lighthearted and sweet story. I just wish everyone a pleasant working environment like this.

11. 11 不 Don’t Discriminate Against Species 不要物种歧视 Butterfly Shadow Beneath the Moon月下蝶影Danmei (BL)581k WordsCompleted Fu Li is a small-town monster who's never seen the world. After moving to the city, his greatest dream is to pass the civil service exam and make a name for himself in history. But... he doesn't have a college degree, or even a high school diploma. So if you don't study hard, even a monster can't find a good job. A lighthearted supernatural story, just for fun. Hope you enjoy reading! Thanks to the wonderful artist Li Huazhi for drawing the cover. Jinjiang is holding a Mid-Autumn Poetry Contest, 236.1kFavorites478.4kClicks/ch668.4kGifts

    Curator note

    The beginning was very interesting, but the plot became a bit weak later on. The story constantly emphasizes the protagonist being pampered, but I felt that the atmosphere wasn't effectively created, which made it a little awkward, perhaps because the story is from an older period. Overall, I'd give it a 9.5.

12. 12 怎 How Did I Pick Up the Marshal’s Spirit Body? 怎么捡到了元帅的精神体 Green Plum Jam青梅酱Danmei (BL)392k WordsCompleted Shi Qi stumbled upon a little black cat like a lump of coal. Its owner had passed away, leaving behind a frail, weak spirit companion. He brought it into his mental landscape and carefully cared for it. Major news stories broke across the interstellar world one after another News 1: Marshal Lu Jinyuan, who was seriously injured and unconscious, has finally awakened. The military is about to undergo a major shake-up! News 2: A mysterious tycoon’s spirit companion has gone missing. A massive boun 90.2kFavorites99kClicks/ch75.5kGifts

    Curator note

    I don't know if I've even seen a tenth of it, but I really couldn't continue. Holy crap, it's the same old formula, just with the genders changed, and it's the same Mary Sue romance novel I loved ten years ago. The female lead's best friend is a village maid, the second male lead is a devoted lover, the villain is a cannon fodder character, and there are brainless bystanders. Those born in the 2010s who haven't read those old-school Mary Sue novels are in luck.

13. 13 我 I’ll Cook to Support You [Gourmet] 我炒菜养你呀[美食] Mai Chenglang麦成浪Danmei (BL)628k WordsCompleted A cozy, everyday farming story about cooking, eating, and falling in love Dai Qian'en started cooking at the age of seven, standing on a stool to reach the stove. With exceptional talent and hard work, he was named a Master Chef of China at twenty-five. But before he could even savor the honor, he died in a car accident and transmigrated into the body of Dai Qian'en, a young layabout. The layabout came with two kids: his late brother and sister-in-law's orphaned children. The girl was fourtee 68.7kFavorites73.1kClicks/ch137.2kGifts

    Curator note

    A rather heartwarming, realistic fairy tale. The main characters are vivid in the beginning, but later the level of kindness becomes excessive, with everyone bathed in holy light, making them feel a bit artificial. The author's writing style is also quite good; I give it a 9.5.

14. 14 人 Report! Mimi Is Here to File a Case 人！咪家死人了，你管不管 Tea-Scented Jasmine茶香茉莉Danmei (BL)793k WordsCompleted Main story complete, bonus chapters updating Five years ago, Lin Jiangye was caught in an accident and left on the brink of death. As he clung to life, he was bound to a System and sent to another world. Five years later, after completing his mission, Lin Jiangye returned to the real world with billions in subsidies. Just as he was getting ready to kick back and enjoy his fortune, he was awakened on the very day he moved into his villa by a series of frantic meows and yowls. [Help! Is anyone t 81.5kFavorites101kClicks/ch173.1kGifts

    Curator note

    The concept is good, but the characters—main characters, supporting characters, and cannon fodder—are all poorly developed in terms of socialization. I wouldn't recommend someone who's never had a job writing characters who have. To force exciting moments, the author included many mindless extras, making me feel like I was digging a new office building out of my boss's head with my toes. Some plot developments are illogical, resulting in a flat story.

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