Brother, You’re Not Allowed to Hit My Husband!!

[Signed with Jinjiang for the Simplified Chinese edition + an unabridged Traditional Chinese edition. Currently collecting suggestions for the print title and bonus chapters… Leave a comment in the Weibo Super Topic for “Bro, You’re Not Allowed to Hit My Husband,” or search for @LiuchuGugu. I’ll read them all! Anyone whose suggestion is chosen will receive a signed copy!]

[I’ve finally finished revising the novel. The author is only responsible for the official Jinjiang edition. Please don’t contact me about pirated copies.]

My family fell from power, my biological brother landed in prison, and I went from a young master to a stray dog, exiled to the underground district.

But I wasn’t worried in the least.

By a stroke of luck, I learned that I was living in a power fantasy novel set in an alternate world, and my biological brother, Lu Xun, was the protagonist.

For now, everything was peaceful, and human society functioned normally. But in a few years, the Lord of the Pollutants would be born in the savage wasteland.

Then, in a single night, everything would change. Pollution would run rampant, humanity would be driven back at every turn, and the Council would be powerless to stop it. They would have no choice but to pardon the Alliance’s youngest major general, my brother, and send him back to the battlefield to reclaim our territory!

When the time came, my brother would beat the pollutants and those Council dogs to a pulp, and I’d get to be part of the elite again.

Until then, I only had one thing to do: survive in the chaotic underground district and wait for my brother to come get me.

It’s hard to survive in a place like that on your own, so I latched onto a local thug.

He was an illiterate brawler with a short temper and a strikingly handsome face.

His gorgeous face and gloomy air made people lose their heads. After I pursued him, we started dating.

“If you leave me,” he warned in a low voice, “even if I die, even if my body is nothing but mush and my bones are ground to dust, I’ll crawl back from hell.”

I smiled and nodded. “Okay.”

What’s he mumbling about? He’s so handsome…

*

A few years flew by.

Pollution crept closer to our homes, and the whole city was on edge.

My boyfriend and I joined an investigation team and headed into the contaminated zone to collect samples.

On the virus-ridden wasteland, we encountered monsters. Red and black filled the sky; that was all I could remember before losing consciousness.

When I woke up again, I was back with my brother.

He sat at my bedside, looking exhausted, his uniform cuffs neatly folded.

My brother: “Welcome back.”

I asked, “Where’s my boyfriend?”

My brother: “Dead.”

Only three members of the team survived the expedition, and my boyfriend wasn’t one of them.

Devastated, I put up a gravestone for him and visited it whenever I had the chance.

*

The energy detectors outside the city blared high-frequency alarms. Sirens sounded throughout the city. The Lord of the Pollutants had been born.

The fight against pollution had officially begun.

At the mobilization rally, my brother gave a righteous speech.

“…The situation is critical. We must defend our home and not yield a single inch of ground!”

Everyone around me was fired up, shouting slogans loud enough to shake the heavens. I clapped, moved to tears.

My brother waved his hand, and a satellite image popped up on the circular display, zooming in closer and closer.

It was a picture of the Lord of the Pollutants. It had taken on a humanoid form, staring straight into the camera with a fierce, unrelenting gaze. A burning obsession smoldered in its scarlet eyes.

Judging only by its human features, its face was actually kind of handsome. It even looked a little like

Holy crap, my ex-boyfriend!

I was stunned.

My brother: “This is our enemy!”

Me: “No, I think this is one of our family.”

#I’m sweating buckets…#

#Stop fighting already! We’re family!!#

* Reckless, illiterate brawler x clever, scheming rich beauty who loves to bluff

* The two characters marked with ↑ are the only ones in the protagonist list. They’re each other’s first love, but there’s also a cold, brother-obsessed man who becomes very prominent in the middle and later parts. The brother is a hardcore siscon, with no secondary pairing.

The main couple will not break up or switch roles, so please don’t ship siblings.

* The novel has a Weibo Super Topic under the same name!

* Next up: “Haha, My Nemesis Fell for It!!” Check the author’s page.

A Wall Street dad, a doctor mom, a lawyer big brother, and a high-IQ family somehow produced one hidden edition of a bad student.

Xi Yu was that stupid kid.

Xi Yu hated school, and he hated his high school classmate Bai Yan even more.

Bai Yan was a genius with top grades. He’d walk along, focused on contest problems, and not even notice when it started raining, getting soaked all the way back to the dorm.

“Bai Jiahao, obviously,” Xi Yu told his friend.

Then he looked up and met Bai Yan’s pitch-black eyes. Bai Yan looked down on him like he was trash.

At last, graduation came, and Xi Yu wouldn’t have to see Bai Yan again. But on the first day of university, Xi Yu came home after class, opened the door, and found Bai Yan sitting on his family’s sofa.

While Xi Yu was still trying to make sense of it, his mother produced a paternity test.

“The babies were switched at the hospital. Bai Yan is our son.”

Xi Yu’s vision went black.

-

Xi Yu had no intention of leaving.

The big house, the housekeeper’s cooking, his parents’ supplementary credit card: once he left, all of it would go back to Bai Yan.

On the day the real and fake young masters switched places, they rode in the same car and got into an accident. Xi Yu broke his arm, while Bai Yan suffered a brain injury.

Bai Yan asked blankly, “Who are you?”

“I’m…” Xi Yu had a sudden inspiration. “I’m your boyfriend!”

“We’re dating in secret. Nobody else knows.”

“So you have to convince your parents not to send me away.”

Bai Yan stared at him strangely.

After a long pause, he finally said, “Okay.”

-

Bai Yan had Asperger’s syndrome. He was like a still pond, unable to understand ordinary people’s emotions.

After the car accident, he had a concussion and couldn’t remember what had happened. Xi Yu mistakenly thought he’d lost his memory and claimed to be his boyfriend.

The handsome boy who usually acted high and mighty and spoke harshly suddenly did a complete 180, sweetly calling him “darling.”

Bai Yan felt nothing in particular.

Completely baffled, he simply went along with what Xi Yu said.

Xi Yu said they should go on a movie date. Bai Yan went along with it, playing along.

Xi Yu told him to be his lackey. Bai Yan went along with it, playing along.

Xi Yu demanded his credit card. Bai Yan went along with it, playing along.

One day, Xi Yu called a friend and said, “Ugh, I feel bad messing with Bai Yan’s feelings like this. It’d be awkward if our family found out, too. Maybe I should just break up with him…”

As a good boyfriend, Bai Yan waited quietly until Xi Yu finished his call, then walked in and locked the door behind him.

Xi Yu watched as he leisurely undid his buttons. “What are you doing?”

Bai Yan tossed aside his shirt, caught Xi Yu by the wrist, and kissed his fingers tenderly.

As if he couldn’t understand a word, he didn’t stop or offer any reassurance all night long.

Theme: Fate is good at taking aim. We’ll make it close its eyes.