The Blue-Ringed Octopus Is a Warlock in a Western Fantasy World

[Archived on March 7, 2026]

Lanzhang is a blue-ringed octopus whose coloring is rather faint.

Mistaken for an ordinary octopus and thrown into a meat grinder, he transmigrates and finds himself with a human body.

This world is different from the one he came from. Everyone, animals included, has magic and can use it.

New to the place, Lanzhang uses his built-in venom to take down a high-level magical beast attacking a town, and the townspeople call him "the great wizard."

Though he appreciates the praise, Lanzhang has no desire to live with humans. He heads out to the magical forest beyond the town, builds a little wooden cabin, raises cats and grows crops, and poisons and tosses out anyone who comes near.

A hundred years later, a legend arises about a wicked old wizard so ugly that he is perpetually ill-tempered, and who poisons anyone who trespasses.

Lanzhang: Who's spreading these rumors?!

*

A prophecy says that the dragon-slaying war, which comes once every thousand years, is about to begin.

The current hero, Kaweifan, is a genius. He completes the twenty-year hero curriculum in just five years, far ahead of the timeline in the prophecy.

This overachiever has a bold plan: he'll go slay the young dragon ahead of schedule!

Kaweifan is eager to put together a dragon-slaying party, but his destined companions haven't grown up yet. So he sets his sights on the powerful male wizard of legend.

"For the future of humanity, please join us!" Kaweifan drops to one knee and calls out earnestly.

Lanzhang jumps in surprise. For starters, how did this guy get past all those layers of poison traps? And besides, isn't that the kind of kneel humans use to propose?

But then Kaweifan takes off his hood and looks up. His bright, sky-blue eyes remind Lanzhang of the sea back home, and his brilliant golden hair looks like the sun he loves most.

As if bewitched, Lanzhang nods and agrees.

*

A limp blue-ringed octopus can't use magic, but the party is already assembled, and it's too late for regrets. The only thing Lanzhang can do is carry the greatsword for the hero, who's a whole head shorter than him.

Kaweifan reminds him again and again, "This is really heavy! Tell me if you get tired, okay?"

Lanzhang wraps an arm around his waist. "Okay."

Kaweifan: "Then let's set off... Wait."

Your hands are carrying the sword, so what is that touching me?

The fake male wizard, with beautiful blue-and-white hair, stares back at him. After a moment, he smiles sheepishly. "Darling, I forgot to tell you: I'm not actually human."

Kaweifan: ...

Lanzhang: "And I have lots of venomous tentacles."

Kaweifan looks at the masses of crystalline eyes covering the tentacles and nearly faints.

It's over. The hero has teamed up with a monster!

*Pretty top, handsome bottom, but the kk can all get lost 😡 The top's human form is nearly half a meter taller than the bottom. Height difference warning.

Theme: Protect animals.