Nurturing Desire

Qin Yujia lost her mother at twelve and was taken in and raised by her mother's friend, Jing Li. Jing Li was pregnant at the time and gave birth to a girl soon after. She told Qin Yujia, “This is your little sister.”

She loved her little sister dearly. From the incubator at the hospital to the crib at home, from her first wobbly steps to skipping along while holding her hand, from the first babbled “Big Sis” to all the sweet, clingy things she would say while holding her hand, Qin Yujia was there for every moment of her sister's childhood

Until one outing, when Qin Yujia was eighteen, and she lost her six-year-old sister.

Their happy life shattered. For ten years, there was no word of the girl. Jing Li wore herself out with worry and died of illness, while Qin Yujia was trapped in an abyss of guilt, tormented day and night. At last, twelve years later, she saw Jing Yi again, now all grown up.

She hadn't been well. In the countryside, the adoptive mother who had bought her died early. She grew up dependent on others, with no one to guide her. She smoked and drank, dropped out of high school, and at eighteen worked as a cashier in a convenience store.

Qin Yujia's heart broke for her. She brought Jing Yi home, did everything she could to make up for lost time and care for her, and took on the role of the mother she had always longed for.

She found her a good school so she could study, took care of her daily needs, protected her without hesitation when she was bullied, and held her when she had nightmares, soothing her to sleep with kisses on her cheek and forehead. She felt so guilty and wanted to give her all the love she had.

Gradually, she realized that Jing Yi's feelings for her had crossed a line. She was shocked and bewildered. She had treated her like a daughter, so how could she accept something so contrary to proper morals?

But when she kept her distance, Jing Yi took it as rejection and grew distant. When she was about to start a relationship with someone else, Qin Yujia lost control, unable to accept it.

She realized that her own overwhelming feelings had long since made it impossible for her to accept Jing Yi loving anyone else.

Theme: Love her, and want all her love