Name: After Joining a Parenting Show, the Little Zombie's Ancestors' Graves Keep Giving Off Green Smoke
Author: Feng Yunsui

Synopsis

Next up, a criminal investigation novel: Shred. Please add it to your reading list. The blurb is at the very bottom.

Blurb:

Jiang Zhiyu in his previous life: mature and dependable, a famous fashion designer.

Jiang Zhiyu after he transmigrates into a book: an internet punching bag, a nobody with such atrocious taste it hurts to look at.

And that's not all. He also has a short-tempered son who could blow up at any moment, and a little zombie who loves sunbathing.

The five-year-old zombie has a fiery temper and loves throwing his weight around. He'll suddenly start shouting that he wants to gnaw on tomatoes.

On his first day after transmigrating into the book, Jiang Zhiyu looks at his son and casually asks, "Can you drink blood? Show me. You can use my neck for a bite."

The little zombie flies into a rage. "Have some boundaries! I don't drink just anybody's blood!!!"

Jiang Zhiyu: An angry little zombie is so cute. Give him a kiss.

After being set up by his unscrupulous agent, Jiang Zhiyu unexpectedly gets a ticket to join a livestreamed adventure variety show for parents and kids.

He immediately tells the little zombie, "We're going to film a show. Remember to keep your teeth to yourself."

The little zombie scoffs. "I'm not going."

Jiang Zhiyu: "If you don't go, I won't have money to buy you tomatoes. Then you'll have to eat meat every day."

The little one may have a temper, but thankfully he's easy to fool. He happily scampers off to pack.

As soon as the variety show goes live, the little zombie gets famous for his skin so pale it seems to glow.

The internet is full of abuse aimed at Jiang Zhiyu.

[What's going on? Is this child malnourished? He's so pale!]

[He's a washed-up nobody, but he has a kid. If he earns any money, he should buy the child some decent food!]

[Is Jiang Zhiyu abusing his son?]

Jiang Zhiyu sneers as he reads the comments, then glances at his son, who's playing Plants vs. Zombies nearby.

Little zombie: "Someone bring me my 1982 tomato sauce."

Jiang Zhiyu: "It's gone bad..."

Little zombie: "I'm starving. I want a tomato that ripened just one day ago. If I don't get one in five minutes, I'll blow up City S!"

Jiang Zhiyu: "We still have a mortgage to pay. If you blow me up, are you going to pay it yourself?"

Little zombie: "Then never mind..."

So who's abusing whom here?

Jiang Zhiyu thought he'd coast through the show, get free food and earn a little spending money. But the little zombie insisted on causing trouble. Hungry in the middle of the night, he dragged Jiang Zhiyu to a cemetery to steal tomatoes.

The livestream caught them in the act.

[You two are so sneaky.]

[Wait, is the show so stingy that they starved these two into sneaking off to a cemetery for tomatoes in the middle of the night?]

[Aren't you afraid someone in there might suddenly come out?]

The little zombie gives a wicked smile. "They're my ancestors. What's wrong with them giving me a little pocket money?"

After becoming an online sensation in such an unconventional way, the little zombie gets even more full of himself.

The little zombie's name is Jian Nuo, and his nickname is Nuomi.

On the first day he met his new dad, his father hurried out of the house to take a side job.

He and his new dad don't get along at all. But one day, he realizes his new dad has changed.

He smiles at him now, and keeps pestering him to let him drink his blood.

He's a well-behaved little zombie of the modern age. How could he drink blood? His father told him only mosquitoes are keen on drinking blood, and he's no mosquito.

But this dad...

Sometimes he can be nice. He'll plant tomatoes with him, eat tomatoes with him, sell vegetables to buy tomatoes, sneak off to steal tomatoes from the ancestors' graves, and play Plants vs. Zombies with him.

Nuomi thinks that if Dad bribes him with a whole truckload of tomatoes, no, ten truckloads, then he'll agree to let Dad and Father be together~

Jiang Zhiyu accidentally finds out what Nuomi is thinking and quickly asks, "Doesn't your family have an elder who'll just throw a million at me and tell me to get out of this house?"

Nuomi: What on earth is this guy talking about?

At last, destitute Jiang Zhiyu gets his wish.

Nuomi's ancestor climbs out of the family grave, his face covered in dirt, and says, "I'll give you a hundred million..."

Jiang Zhiyu: "No need to continue. I know what comes next. When will the money arrive?"

The old man takes out several stacks of thousand-yuan bills.

Jiang Zhiyu: "Why don't you go bury yourself again?"

His handsome zombie lover appears and explains coolly, "I went to relocate the ancestral graves, and he climbed out of his coffin by himself."

Jiang Zhiyu thinks: What, do they not cremate people around here because the dead don't like it?

Bonus Scene

Jian Huai is invited to join the variety show. He and his newlywed wife treat each other with polite restraint, and at bedtime he puts all eight hundred of his schemes between them.

When he sees Jiang Zhiyu being bullied, Jian Huai says icily, "If I can't sort this out in three minutes, I'll blow up the whole production team."

Jian Huai thinks: My wife just looked at me. She must think I'm incredibly handsome. I love him so much, I want to kiss him.

Jiang Zhiyu's actual reaction: What's wrong with this father and son? Is this some kind of family tradition? They threaten to blow things up at the drop of a hat. Were they bombs in their past lives?

2.

The little zombie pushes open the door and stares in shock at the two people fulfilling their marital duties. He pouts in hurt.

Father clearly told him that only mosquitoes drink blood!

So why is he sneaking off to drink Dad's blood? Could he be a mosquito?

Jian Huai sighs helplessly. "Go out and close the door. We're busy right now."

The little zombie is confused. "Busy with what?"

Jian Huai doesn't bat an eye. "Making a baby."

Jiang Zhiyu gives him a humorless smile and kicks him. "What's the next baby going to be, a firecracker?"

Jian Huai: "I'll love any child you give birth to."

A rebellious, goofy bottom x a seemingly cold, self-deluding zombie top

The kid's CP: An explosive-tempered zombie top x a cool, timid young master bottom

--Reader's Guide--

Dear readers, please don't save this up to read later, I beg you! The book is about to make the rankings, and I really need every one of your subscriptions. Thank you as well to everyone who's loved and supported this book. Once the new-release promotion is over, I'll work hard to update daily. Sending love~

1. Both leads are devoted to each other, and the child isn't biologically theirs. No childbirth in the main story. HE.

2. Both the bottom and top are handsome. The top isn't a traditional zombie, and some details are author-invented.

3. In the main story's setting, men can marry but cannot have children. The extra chapters have a special childbirth setup.

4. The top has no feelings for the original host. [Important]

5. There are some supernatural elements, but it's not scary. Goofy comedy is the main tone.

6. No real-life inspiration, no real-life comparisons. Writing advice is politely declined. If you drop the story, no need to tell me. Maybe we'll meet again someday~

7. Updates at 18:00. After dropping off the thousand-word ranking, updates will be 6,000+ words a day.

Shred

Yining City Police Department has just been landed with a huge headache: Qi Zhou.

He barely speaks and seems so frail, as if the next burst of intense work will shatter him to pieces.

Chu Fan can't stand pretty boys like that.

At their first meeting, he leans against the doorframe, smiling without warmth. "Is the department so short-staffed that they sent us a delicate little flower as a mascot?"

Qi Zhou lowers his lashes and answers softly, "Captain, I'll do my best... not to hold everyone back."

Strange cases erupt one after another, and darkness silently descends over the city.

Bodies missing organs in the river, cremated remains dug up under cover of night, a new drug seeping into every corner like blood and bone...

Each case, every last one, tries to drag Qi Zhou into the abyss.

Chu Fan thinks he's protecting a useless pretty boy. But on a stormy night, he sees that same pretty boy wielding a steel pipe, striking a desperate criminal without the slightest hesitation.

The moment their eyes meet, the gaze that had always seemed mild shines brightly. Qi Zhou toys with the pipe in his hand and smiles. "Captain, want to wait out the rain together?"

The secrets Qi Zhou carries are a bottomless black hole. At a crime scene, a crude stick-figure drawing with not a shred of artistic merit lets Chu Fan finally glimpse one corner of that hole.

As torrential rain pours down, Chu Fan points his gun at him, his voice hoarse. "Who are you, really?"

Qi Zhou takes hold of Chu Fan's trembling gun hand and presses the weapon against his own heart. "If you don't tear the abyss apart, the abyss will swallow you."

He didn't come looking for protection.

He came looking for a "blade."

Chu Fan suddenly smiles. "You're risking your life to enter this game. I'll be your blade."

His gaze falls on the finger resting on the trigger.

"You are my... blade that never retreats," he says.

He guards this game of chess. He guards Qi Zhou's life.

In Qi Zhou's meticulously planned life, Chu Fan is the one and only variable.

A proud, untouchable beauty bottom who gets beaten up x a wild, untamable guard-dog top who fiercely protects his spouse

The Lop-Eared Rabbit Dad and Son Become the Darlings of a Parenting Show

As the world develops at breakneck speed, the human body begins to change.

About one in a million people on Earth evolve a second animal form. There are hundreds of types, including tigers, lions, black panthers, and kittens.

These people often can't hide the most distinctive features of their animal forms.

Wen Wan is one of them: a delicate, 185-centimeter-tall lop-eared rabbit, and vice president of the Second-Form Protection Association. He also has a lovely, lively, energetic little lop-eared rabbit: Shao Yun.

To improve relations between First Humans and Second Humans, he takes his little lop-eared rabbit to join a livestreamed parenting show. Everyone else on the show is a First Human.

Relations between First Humans and Second Humans are poor, and the tasks don't go smoothly. The others treat Second Humans like them as enemies. As soon as the show goes live, the livestream is flooded with abuse.

[Why invite them? We don't need to live in peace with people who have genetic mutations.]

[Such a timid lop-eared rabbit will only cause trouble for everyone.]

[So frail. He's just a pretty face, isn't he?]

[Oh my god! His ears are so long. How weird!]

[What if he goes feral and treats the guests as dinner?]

It turns out that lop-eared rabbits are exceptionally gentle animals. He doesn't bite people, and he eats carrots and greens for all three meals.

He also gets up early every day to groom the soft fur on his ears with a comb.

The viewers gradually realize something is off. How can the seemingly frail Wen Wan be such a good cook? How did he even cure a guest's years-long eating disorder?

He seems gentle and good-natured, so how can he be fierce enough to yell the director to tears?

[Are you telling me this rabbit is so capable he can charm guests at a banquet, cook at home, take on thieves, and catch thugs???]

[Wait! With that face, he should be playing the scheming green-tea type!]

His little lop-eared rabbit, Shao Yun, also becomes a sensation.

He can recite Three Hundred Tang Poems and help old men cross the road, but he can also beat up the chubby little calico-bear next door and catch snakes with his bare hands.

Voted the child who makes people feel safest, he gets the affectionate nickname Tu Tu, or Bunny.

Wen Wan looks at the little rabbit giving a husky twice his size a pep talk and asks, "Sang Biao, why do they call you Bunny?"

The father and son win people over in no time. Seeing how capable Wen Wan is, the other guests spoil them both rotten, wishing they could all turn three years old again and call him Dad.

A viewer's hot take: If even a rabbit is like this, his husband must be an African cheetah, right?

His husband must love him so much. People who are loved have the confidence to do anything!

Unaware of the viewers' thoughts, Wen Wan smiles faintly. "It's a marriage of convenience, and we're about to divorce. By the way, I got custody of the little rabbit."

*

On the first day of the variety show, Shao Yanchuan is aloof and elegant, acting like a stranger to Wen Wan.

On the second day, the two barely exchange a word.

Just as all the viewers think they're headed for divorce, Shao Yanchuan changes.

He can barely go a minute without clinging to Wen Wan, making everyone wonder if he has a touch-starvation disorder.

When Wen Wan gets angry, he asks in a cloyingly sweet voice, "Wife, don't you love me anymore?"

Wen Wan: "Get away from me! I want a divorce!"

Shao Yanchuan: "No way. The next appointment at the divorce registry is five years from now!"

Viewers: Didn't you say you were getting divorced? Wen Wan! How dare you play us like that!!!

=Bonus Scene=

After N days on the show, Shao Yanchuan watches his wife move around in front of him every day, his mind full of dirty thoughts.

Can rabbits have phantom pregnancies? Can Wen Wan?