Can Yiyuan Liu Finally Pin the Mystery Goose Down?

1.

“I hope the person I love will love me as much as I love them.”

Oswald made this wish and snapped off a branch from the wishing willow.

When he opened his eyes again, he had arrived decades in the future.

Though Batman and Gotham's endless parade of villains had long since ended his reign as the King of Gotham, the Penguin was still a notorious figure.

He remained one of the biggest players in Gotham's underworld.

That was all well and good, but could someone explain one thing to him?

Why was Edward Nygma, AKA the Riddler, lying in the same bed as him?!

And why were they both naked?

“And another thing, Butch, what do you mean he and I have a son?!”

Oswald asked, practically shrieking.

His right-hand man answered as if this were nothing new:

“Just what it sounds like, Boss. Hey, don't tell me it's taken you all these years to realize your son is his son too.

“But it sounds like the two of you are fighting again?”

Thinking of all the times the Penguin and the Riddler had broken up and gotten back together over the years, Butch could hardly keep from sighing.

Did you two have any idea that whenever you were dating, the ones who suffered were your assistants, your right-hand men, innocent bystanders, and James Gordon, the commissioner of the Gotham City Police Department?

How many times had you tried to kidnap Gordon to be your wedding officiant, only for both of you to run away from the wedding for one reason or another?

Yes, some people are made for each other, while the Riddler and the Penguin are a pair made to be struck by lightning.

They entrusted each other with their lives and betrayed each other in turn. They climbed to the top of Gotham together, then dragged each other into hell.

One hand embraced the other, while the other gripped a knife behind their back.

But this time, their relationship faced its biggest crisis in decades:

As far as the Penguin could remember, they had never been together at all!

“That's absolutely impossible!”

Tapping his cane against the floor, the Penguin declared with conviction:

“Edward likes women. He's even homophobic.”

Then the Penguin decided he knew the truth:

It was the wishing willow!

Of course a wish-granting machine like that would twist people's wishes!

It was true that the Penguin loved the Riddler, and wanted the Riddler to love him.

But he would never, ever, ever accept love twisted by magic. He had to put everything back the way it was.

Content warning:

Theme: Learn to love and be loved.