College Student: A Tyrant? Me?

QwQ, please leave a five-star review! [Mindless comedy, silly and absurd, with people transmigrating between ancient and modern times, childhood-friends CP] Good news: I transmigrated into the emperor and got out of taking the fitness test. Hahahahahaha! Bad news: I’m an awful emperor, a tyrant hated by everyone and everything. Long Yin points at himself: Me? A tyrant? You mean me? (Patrick Star staring blankly.jpg) Hahaha, what’s the point of living? I’ll just give up and go crazy! The tyrant, hated by everyone, has recently started acting as if a donkey kicked him in the head. The tyrant holds a banquet, intending to kill every minister who defies him. A principled old minister comes to the banquet, pointing at the tyrant and cursing him, prepared to die. The tyrant walks toward him step by step, narrowing his sinister eyes. He bends down and whispers, "I’m practicing emotional intelligence. Please don’t make this awkward for me." Old minister: "?" The tyrant tears up and begs, "Emotional intelligence! I’m working on my emotional intelligence!" Not long afterward, thanks to his outspokenness and integrity, the old minister is promoted and made the emperor’s tutor. * The tyrant chooses consorts without regard to gender. Everyone cries as they tremblingly send their sons and daughters into the palace. Faced with so many handsome men and beautiful women, the tyrant raises the corner of his mouth. "Anyone who has read The Art of War can stay. Everyone else is out." Everyone: "?" "Anyone who can recite and write down the following passages from memory can stay. The rest of you can get out of my sight." Everyone takes a look. The first line reads: "Study new ideas and strive to be new youth. Welcome to this episode of Youth Study..." Not long afterward, the people who were supposed to become consorts all end up as local officials. Born under the red flag and raised in the spring breeze, they earn the people’s praise. Long Yin: ? Wasn’t I giving up and going crazy? Why are you all thriving? * The king of the Western Regions visits Great Qi and deliberately babbles in an uncivilized tongue. A college student says, "How are you?" and scares them out of their wits. They immediately kneel and submit. (New absurd plotline) * Long Yin gives up his way to the throne, somehow ends up ruling the world, and is loved by everyone. He sighs over the passage of time. Long Yin remembers someone as he looks at the little guard, whose face is identical to his childhood friend’s, and says affectionately, "You know, I used to have a roommate who looked exactly like you." Little guard: "Tell me more, Your Majesty." Long Yin: "My roommate had a short temper, was arrogant and tsundere, and had a million ridiculous little quirks. Apart from being handsome, he was good for nothing. Sigh, though I do kind of miss him." Little guard: "..." Long Yin: "I... miss... him... so... much..." Little guard: "...Then go see him." Long Yin stares at the little guard’s blood-red earlobe, suddenly grins mischievously, and reaches over to pinch his waist. As expected, he gets slapped. Long Yin covers his face in hurt. "Stop pretending. You’re the only one who dares to ‘caress’ the emperor’s face like that." Feng Xiao, who also transmigrated but failed to keep his identity hidden, grits his teeth. "You call that caressing?!" Bonus scene: After Feng Xiao’s tireless efforts, he finally figures out which book Long Yin transmigrated into. It turns out to be a fanfic about the two of them written by his little sister, titled The Domineering Tyrant and His Sweet Little Guard: Extra Spicy. Feng Xiao, who secretly loved someone from a transmigration incident: ? The aloof, tsundere beauty bottom (Feng Xiao) VS the jealous, silly puppy top (Long Yin) [The best childhood friends in the world] Reader’s Guide: 1. There is a secondary couple and some yandere scenes, but at its heart, it’s still a love story. Devoted, clingy, homemaker bottom (Feng Shiyi) VS dark, unhinged S top (Long Yin) If you don’t like that, please don’t read. 2. Mainly silly comedy. The romance develops slowly at first, with the focus on making people laugh. Please be gentle about the logic. Happy ending, both leads are each other’s first and only. 3. I politely decline writing advice from people who haven’t subscribed, as well as intensive scrutiny of the logic. You don’t need to tell me if you drop the story. Let’s all be happy. 4. Dual POV: the story is narrated from both the top and bottom’s perspectives. If you’re extremely strict about this, please don’t read. The author treats both sides fairly. Please add my upcoming book, Baby, Open the Door. It’s Your Dad, to your reading list, meow~ Father-son rivalry for the bottom) Expected to start in late June or early July Jian Chenzhou (top 1, 39) → Yaoyao (bottom) ← Jian Zhao (top 2, 19) Father and son compete for the bottom. The tops and the bottom are all physically and emotionally devoted to one another. No cheating spouse being deceived into marriage, so read with confidence. * Blurb: On the anniversary of Jian Zhao’s mother’s death, his demon-hunting father brings home a fox spirit. A male fox demon, no less. He assumes the fox demon must be a dangerous character, and that his father will keep him locked up at home, interrogate him day and night, then kill him once he gets the information he wants. But on the first day, the fox demon slaps his father. His usually cold and taciturn father simply smiles faintly and lovingly touches the mark on his face. On the second day, the fox demon bites his father viciously, his sharp teeth piercing flesh and bone. His father merely says it’s a minor injury and nothing to worry about. On the third day, Jian Zhao peeks through a crack in the window and sees his father, who has treated everyone with cool detachment for half his life, kneeling before the fox demon. His eyes are red, the veins on his large hand bulge as he grips the fox demon’s ankle, and he begs in a trembling voice, "Yaoyao, it’s been twenty years. I’ve looked for you countless times... Don’t leave your brother again, please. Your brother can’t wait another twenty years..." * Jian Zhao seems to have discovered a hidden past between his father and the fox demon. He resents his father’s coldness toward him and hates all demons. At last, one day, he gets the chance to take revenge on them Using a face exactly like his father’s when he was young, Jian Zhao holds the fox demon, who has lost his memory in an accident, in his arms and gently deceives him. "Yaoyao, I’m your brother. I’m right here." According to the plan, once the foolish fox demon fully trusts him, he’ll dump him in the mountains for the tigers to eat, then enjoy watching his father break down and go mad. But then the plan goes wrong. He falls in love for real. "My face looks just like my father’s. Why do you only want him and not me?" Jian Zhao’s twisted possessiveness grows out of control, his eyes bloodshot. "My father’s old and useless now. You can only have me!" * Jian Chenzhou was very young when he and the little fox spirit began relying on each other. He named him Yaoyao. When the little fox spirit was nineteen, he blushed and said, "I love you, big brother!" Jian Chenzhou just smiled and patted his head, not taking him seriously. Now, at thirty-nine, twenty years after losing Yaoyao, Jian Chenzhou hears him make that tired, resigned confession again: "Big brother, I still love you." Jian Chenzhou is moved, but still cruelly turns Yaoyao down. Until one day, he comes home early from a business trip and sees his son Jian Zhao playing the part of his younger self, making love with Yaoyao as if the world around them doesn’t exist. The last of Jian Chenzhou’s reason burns away. Theme: Even in adversity, keep walking toward the light