I Never Meant to Make Long Aotian My Wife [Quick Transmigration]

(A hilarious, feel-good story. If you like it, please leave a five-star review! Kisses!) In novels, there’s a certain kind of person who starts with nothing and rises to the top, winning beautiful lovers along the way. They’re known as the Chosen Ones. Their lives are never complete without a master who teaches them everything, loyal underlings, and eager errand-runners. Jian Yuanbai’s job is to play these roles and keep worlds on the verge of collapse running. Jian Yuanbai: So as long as the Chosen One succeeds in the end, I’m good, right? System: …That’s not wrong, but Host, you have to make sure the male lead says the lines a Chosen One is supposed to say. Jian Yuanbai completes his mission exceptionally well in every world. The only thing that gives the System a heart attack is… System: The Chosen One is supposed to have a lover on each arm! He’s not supposed to become your wife! Jian Yuanbai, brainwashed by all those chuunibyou lines: “Even Heaven and Earth cannot defy my will, let alone you.” At first, Jian Yuanbai only wanted to follow the plot obediently. But after hearing the Chosen One call him “big brother” again and again, he gradually lost himself and started having steamy dreams every night. Jian Yuanbai: I’m still a virgin. I’m saving myself for my wife. I’m not pure anymore, so he has to take responsibility. The System breaks down, flies into a panic, and rages helplessly: That was just a fucking dream! You’re still pure! Jian Yuanbai gazed deeply at the soft, fair-skinned Chosen One and insisted, “No, I’m not pure anymore.” Then he swapped out the cultivation technique that would give him bulging muscles and make him eight feet tall for another one. No offense to muscular ukes, but he still prefers his wife on the softer side. Bonus scene: Jian Yuanbai does feel a little guilty, actually. The Chosen One in the novel: Seven times a night, every night. After becoming his wife: Passes out three times in one night. Jian Yuanbai, feeling guilty: I only made my wife pass out three times. That’s four short. I’m sorry, wife. I’ll try harder. The Chosen One sneers: …If you do it seven times in one night, you won’t have a wife anymore! World One: The poor, useless guy whose engagement was broken off The Chosen One’s ears turned red as he looked at Jian Yuanbai with pleading, dewy eyes. Jian Yuanbai: “Say it.” The Chosen One: “I… I may have fallen behind for thirty years, but I’ll catch up in another thirty. D-don’t look down on a poor young man!” The villains, who hadn’t even had the chance to humiliate the Chosen One before Jian Yuanbai overpowered them and sent them crashing to the ground, spitting blood: …Give us our lines back. World Two: The poor pawn abandoned by his family Facing his cold-blooded family, who had kicked him out and hoped to watch him struggle to survive, The Chosen One’s lashes trembled as he fought down his embarrassment. “I’ll repay a hundredfold the humiliation I’ve suffered today!” The family had failed to get what they wanted. Instead, they watched the Chosen One receive lavish support from the elite Jian family and become their darling: …What a devious way to show off. World Three: The poor vampire who was turned World Four: The poor Alpha whose gland was destroyed World Five: The poor actor who was blacklisted Worlds Six, Seven, Eight… Note: The System and the uke are two separate individuals. They won’t merge. For a completed quick-transmigration story with a similar premise, see my column: “The System Forces Me to Observe Virtue as a Man.” You don’t have to tell me if you drop the story. Let’s all be happy. Mianmian’s heart has already been shattered a thousand times! QAQ 1. “Chosen One” is just a label. The uke isn’t actually called that. 2. Both are each other’s first. There’s only one uke, across all the worlds. 3. The seme is incredibly powerful. If he does something that doesn’t make sense, don’t question it. He really can. 4. The worlds may not appear in the order shown in the blurb. 5. Sweet story. Readers with extreme seme or uke preferences, please stay away. 6. They’re both adults when they fall in love. 7. Seme and uke (very long): A super-strong, somewhat ridiculous seme who tries in every world to make his wife pass out seven times and spoils him rotten x a clingy uke whose personality varies a little from world to world. 8. You don’t have to tell me if you drop the story. Please. Upcoming novel: “My Lover Is an NPC on the Edge of the Game” Tang Wei is a background NPC in someone’s game, and he knows it. He can hear the player speak, but can only see the character the player controls. The player has no idea that one of the game’s NPCs is self-aware. The player controls the game and, indirectly, Tang Wei’s world. For example… Tang Wei was up bright and early, hoe in hand, ready to plant vegetables. He’d barely swung the hoe once when the sun shot westward overhead, and the sun, moon, and stars rose before his eyes. Tang Wei clenched his fists, pouted, lit the oil lamp, and worked in the dark. The player had changed the time again. How annoying. Another example… He eagerly set off on a trip, but the moment he reached his destination, he was back at his doorstep a second later. There was no choice but to face the player’s character, mouth open and lips moving through the same repeated lines. The player’s daily quest had landed on him again. So annoying. And another… The carrots Tang Wei had painstakingly grown suddenly vanished without a trace. Looking at the empty carrot patch, he silently felt tears prick his eyes. The player had stolen his carrots again. Super annoying! … He could put up with all that. But ever since the player became some kind of streamer, he started talking nonstop while gaming. Then one night, Tang Wei was woken up in the middle of the game’s night by the player shouting, “You can’t even beat this? What a loser!” “This game takes skill. If you have cerebral palsy, you shouldn’t play.” Tang Wei lay in bed, angrily pulling the covers over his ears. He tried to hold back, but finally couldn’t take it anymore. “Hello? Could you keep your voice down?” … Chu Zhou is a famous toxic streamer in the gaming world. He’s actually good at the game, which makes people hate him while grudgingly respecting him. Then one day, Chu Zhou changed his ways. Not only did he stop insulting people, he started speaking softly and gently. When he logged into a game and found it was nighttime, he’d set it aside and wait for the in-game world to reach daytime before playing. He even said with complete conviction, “What if we disturb the people on this continent by gaming late at night?” “Let’s be a high-quality community and build a civilized city together.” Netizens: Sure, but there’s no need to get so immersed in the game. Seme-focused, mutually doting, one-on-one Completed quick-transmigration novel in my column: “The System Forces Me to Observe Virtue as a Man” Theme: Even stars in the mud can shine