You Don't Understand How Beautiful the Uchiha Are

[This was once a story I had on my English-fandom preorder list. It's now a Naruto preorder. The announcement says it will start in six months. Note from January 5, 2024.]

Izuna said Tobirama was a piece of trash, sinister and cunning, and fond of ambushing people.

Chizuru: I'll get rid of him for you, so you won't have to see him anymore.

Madara said Hashirama was such a strange person, so enthusiastic and innocent, and fond of skipping stones.

Chizuru: I'll marry him for you, so you can see him every day.

And then Tobirama married into the Uchiha clan.

Izuna: ...

Madara: ...

Hashirama: ...

Wait, why did things turn out like this? They never said it would happen this way.

Chizuru put an arm around her burly husband's waist and declared with conviction, "Now Tobirama can't ambush Izuna, and Madara can go see Hashirama openly! All the problems are solved!"

Izuna: Big sister, you're not solving the problems. You're solving the people who have problems.

Premise: Birds of a feather flock together