Long-Lived, but in Ancient Greece! [Western History]

Please read the reading guide below in full before deciding whether to read.

*

I'm a long-lived being, but I'm in ancient Greece.

At first, I didn't realize how serious this was. It wasn't until I'd been alive for quite a few decades that I realized the old man who looked like a clay pot someone had stepped on...

was Socrates.

No wonder I wanted to punch him so badly.

When faced with this stubborn contrarian, all I could do was stare at him with my clear, foolish eyes. "...What are you even talking about?"

Socrates nodded thoughtfully, then turned to the person beside him and said, "Look, this is the purity of ignorance."

Me: ???

*

And that brawny man with muscles so knotted he could kill several of me with one punch was Plato... Now I finally understood why he was so good at debating. He also knew a thing or two about fighting...

When Socrates was executed, Plato cried like a baby. I offered him a piece of flatbread, and he grabbed my hand and said, "From now on, I'll record every word my teacher says."

Then he started writing books. But I was illiterate, so my role here was to ask in confusion every day, "Could you explain that again? 🤨" and to get written into the Symposium as a beautiful young man.

Anyway... Diogenes invited me to live with him in a barrel...

*

My life is incredibly colorful, with all sorts of extraordinary philosophers around me. After I scattered beans to trap Pythagoras, I was thoroughly pleased with myself and wore an evil grin.

Sometimes I even think about things, like whether Plato was European or gay, whether Achilles was the lover or the beloved, who was best at making shadow projections in the cave, and just how handsome Alcibiades was. But most of the time, when everyone is arguing themselves red in the face and refusing to give an inch, I ask them, "Are you all hungry or not?"

*

After living so long, the only thing I've learned is this: Never ask "why" in front of a philosopher.

Don't ask me why...

And my next stop: the Middle Ages.

Wait, don't burn me at the stake! I'm really not a witch!

Reading Guide:

1. The main story starts with Thales. Everything serves the plot, and the setting is fictionalized. Many philosophers have been heavily reimagined based on real history so they can appear together.

2. The male character count is very high. Please don't ask me to change the wording.

3. The plot has nothing to do with mythology, and even includes some rather unfriendly content!

4. The protagonist's body is sexless, but they identify as female. For a long stretch early on, everyone thinks they're a man. (That's a mouthful. You can think of it as a woman disguised as a man.)

5. I'm trying to talk about philosophy... but there's a lot of questionable history and personal interpretation, so please don't treat this as a serious history of philosophy 🤕 At heart, it's just a light novel meant to make everyone laugh. If that's not for you, cut your losses and run!

6. A long-lived protagonist is bound to have a little angst... but overall it should be lighthearted. No CP, no romantic tension, no one-sided crushes. Everyone's just good friends 🥰

7. You should be able to follow along even if you don't know the history of philosophy, since the protagonist starts out knowing absolutely nothing and being a fool (?)

Next female-led no-romance novel: [Comprehensive Horror] Running a business game, but it's Rusty Lake! Probably a story about inheriting the Rusty Lake Hotel and hosting horror movie guests.

This novel only goes as far as ancient Greece! The Middle Ages story is: Long-Lived, but in the Middle Ages! [Western History]

Upcoming female-led no-romance novel, launching once it gets 300 saves: [Cyberpunk] Sweep Across Europe and Become Myself Again. The protagonist has the ability to turn into a rat and spread plagues in a Cyberpunk world, and plans to take down the world.

Theme: Study philosophy!