Long-Lived, but in Ancient Greece! [Western History]

The first update drops at midnight on the 29th! Updates at 9 a.m.! After signing, five hundred little sprouts will drop as thanks! * I'm an immortal, but I live in ancient Greece. At first, I didn't realize how serious things were. It took me several decades to figure out that the old man who looked like someone had stepped on a clay pot... was Socrates. No wonder I wanted to punch him so badly. Faced with this stubborn contrarian, all I could do was stare at him with my clear, foolish eyes. “...What are you even talking about?” Socrates nodded thoughtfully, then turned to the people beside him and said, “Look, this is the purity of ignorance.” Me: ??? * And that muscular giant who could knock out several people like me with one punch was Plato... At last, I understood why he was so good at debating. He also knew a thing or two about fighting... When Socrates was put to death, Plato cried like a baby. I handed him a piece of flatbread, and he clasped my hand and said, “From this day on, I will record everything my teacher says.” Then he started writing books. But I was illiterate, so my role in all this was to ask in confusion every day, “Could you explain that one more time? 🤨” and to be written into the Symposium as a beautiful young man. Anyway... Diogenes has invited me to live in a barrel with him... * My life is incredibly colorful, with a whole bunch of strange philosophers around me. After trapping Pythagoras by scattering beans on the ground, I smiled with satisfaction and let out an evil laugh. Sometimes I do think about things, like whether Plato was European or gay, whether Achilles was a top or a bottom, who was best at making shadow puppets in the cave, and just how handsome Alcibiades was. But most of the time, when everyone is arguing so fiercely they're red in the face and can't be separated, I ask them, “Aren't you hungry?” * After living this long, the one thing I've learned is: never ask “why” in front of a philosopher. Don't ask me why... And my next stop: the Middle Ages. Wait, don't burn me at the stake! I'm not a witch! Reading Guide: 1. The timeline serves the story and is fictionalized, with extensive changes based on real history. 2. Famous figures from Western classics will appear. Please don't send corrections about their names. 3. The story is told in third person. The protagonist isn't very smart! Compared to the suffering philosophers, they're a very happy little pig (x). 4. The protagonist's body has no gender, but they identify as female. For a long time early on, everyone thinks they're a man. (That's a mouthful. You can think of it as a woman in men's clothes.) 5. The author didn't study philosophy. Feel free to point out mistakes. There'll be lots of unofficial history and authorial indulgences. Don't scrutinize it as serious philosophy history 🤕 It's essentially just a light novel meant to make people laugh. If that's not for you, quit while you're ahead and run! 6. An immortal's life will definitely have a little angst, but overall it should be lighthearted. No CP, flirting, or one-sided crushes. Everyone's just friends 🥰 Next book: After inheriting the Rusty Lake Hotel, I start hosting horror movie guests: [A crossover of American horror films], a management game, but Rusty Lake! This book only covers ancient Greece! The Middle Ages story is: An Immortal in the Middle Ages! [Western history] Premise: Learn philosophy!