[Western Crossover] AAA Shrike Master, Grilling Skewers Now

30% anti-theft protection. Bonus chapters are being updated.

*

Lanius is a magical creature whose true form is a brown-backed shrike. This vicious little butcher was captured by a huge black bat before she could do anything bad!

And so the little bird gained a father and... an older brother.

Once you have magical creatures, going on adventures in fairy-tale worlds is only natural. And once you can go on adventures in fairy-tale worlds, falling in love with your own brother along the way is only natural too, right?

That’s right. Lanius fell in love with her older brother.

It has nothing to do with reproduction or the future.

She has never wanted to become human more than she does now.

She has never wanted to become her brother’s lover more than she does now.

*

Dick has had something on his mind lately. His little sister seems unable to tell romantic love from familial love. This is awful. Is she going to destroy their already fractured family?

His job! His reputation!

Lanius already looks like a child. He really doesn’t want people to think he’s a pedophile.

And she just wants to reproduce, right?

He absolutely cannot agree to that!

*

Lanius feels like Alice, skipping through Wonderland and learning a future she was never meant to know. Then she’s like the Little Mermaid, discovering from the depths of the sea what an immortal soul is. She can kill the Joker, soften the big black bat, and put an end to all sorts of sad, messy things, but she can’t make her brother accept her love.

It’s come to this.

Then she’ll make him love her!

*

Dick: No, I have to take responsibility. No, I’m going to get electrocuted. No, I have to take responsibility. No, I’m going to get electrocuted...

Dick, later: Fine, electrocute me. The Boy Wonder can do anything!

Reader’s guide:

1. No little-bird phase. She’s a little girl from the start, with a seven-year age gap...

2. They’re not on the same household register, and she’ll move out later.

3. No one suffers any irreversible harm! Comic-relief characters are invincible (certainly).

4. Lighthearted, pure vulgar wish fulfillment. It’ll probably get pretty unhinged. Might run 300,000 to 500,000 characters.

5. A Western Crossover featuring Sherlock, Rick and Morty, Hannibal, Pearl, a bunch of fairy tales and urban legends... In short, it’s all a big mess, so dig in.

My completed fic is listed on my profile: [Western Crossover] A Chinese Literature Student’s Guide to Surviving in Gotham.

My friend’s upcoming BG novel, The Addams-Wayne Compatibility Test, is at the bottom!

Next up: [Western Crossover] Tim Gets Bullied Again Today

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Tim spent his adolescence in Lilith’s shadow! She’s a demon! A lazy demon! She steals his snacks, makes him carry her backpack, dumps all her homework on him, and pulls pranks on him now and then. Whenever he brings her up, people envy him and say, “You’re so lucky to have a friend you grew up with.”

What’s so great about childhood friends? He’s getting bullied all the time!

*

Things got out of hand during an ordinary movie night.

Lilith watched the male and female leads kiss, then suddenly turned to him and asked offhandedly, “What does kissing feel like?”

“I don’t know,” Tim said.

“Neither do I,” she said with a sly smile. “Want to find out?”

That was pure demonic temptation!

And just like that, Tim was lured in.

This world must have gone crazy.

Otherwise, why had they suddenly started helping each other out?

*

Tim thinks he ought to take responsibility. She hasn’t said it outright, but Lilith should be his girlfriend now!

After school, they walk home hand in hand. A curious classmate catches up and asks, “Are you two dating?”

Before Tim can answer, she cuts him off:

“Nope. We’re just friends.”

That demon!

“You two are so close!”

No, no, no! Friends don’t do all that, do they? Does he have the wrong idea about what friendship means?

*

She breathes into his ear. “Want to come over to my place? There’ll be no one else there.”

Tim... Tim is bewitched again.

The conflicted little red bird paces back and forth around his room. He buys what he needs and what he doesn’t.

Fully prepared, he opens the front door, only to find...

A pile of unfinished holiday homework.

“Ta-da! Thanks for doing this!”

He knew it.

Tim, sweating bullets, squeezes the wicked thing in his pocket.

“What are you so nervous about? Is there something in your pocket you don’t want me to see?” She leans close, their noses almost touching. He can smell her sweet scent.

His Adam’s apple bobs, and he steps back guiltily.

The little red bird! Played to death!

*

The duck detective flashes an evil grin. After all these years of oppression, it’s time to fight back!

Flirtatious type vs. serious type! Bring on the groveling chase!

My friend’s story: The Addams-Wayne Compatibility Test

The Addams family’s youngest daughter x Damian: Addams-Gothic slice-of-life comedy!

“Damian, you’re only ten! You can’t start a relationship with a suspicious girl who kissed you the first time you met, proposed to you the second time, and has only met you three times! Do you understand?”

“Tch.” The boy, who had been acting all cool and rebellious, seemed to take it as a yes.

So when they met again, he was the one who proposed, and got himself a fiancée.

After all, they’d already met three times, hadn’t they?

*

“My love, about the children...” The little girl, almost as tall as the boy, spoke seriously.

“Three,” they said at the same time.

“We agree. What about the surname?” Damian asked.

“Two Addamses.” The girl tilted her head.

“Two Waynes.” The boy nodded.

“We disagree. Fencing or hand-to-hand combat?” The girl looked up calmly.

“Kendo.” The boy folded his arms and raised an eyebrow.

“Request approved.”

Watching the two children instantly draw their swords and fight in the garden, despite having been sharing an ice cream and cuddling just moments earlier, Tim turned back in a daze to face the rest of the family, all of whom wore equally conflicted expressions.

“This isn’t what I imagined. Wait, is this normal?”

“Yes, yes, yes... No!” Jason was utterly confused.

Meanwhile, the couple beside them, dressed elegantly with pale skin and holding a black parasol, smiled with a mixture of sorrow and delight.

“Oh, what a beautiful pair of lovebirds. My little poison scorpion has already found someone to spend her life with.” The elegant, charming woman in a long Gothic dress gently dabbed the tears from the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief.

“This is much too soon. That little thief has stolen her heart so easily. Oh, Morticia, my heart is breaking...” The gentleman clutched his chest.

The couple kissed.

“...”

The Waynes fell silent.

You two are weird too!

Theme: Look back on childhood and rediscover your childlike wonder