Even the Little Zombie Didn't Want This

A hundred years after becoming a zombie, Liuchuan's tomb was dug up by grave robbers. They came in force, and Liuchuan was weak and helpless, so he decisively pretended to be dead.

Grave robbers: Take him! Sell him! We'll make a fortune!

Liuchuan: O.o?

Halfway down the road, their vehicle broke down. Seizing his chance, Liuchuan hopped to his feet.

Grave robbers: "It's a zombie! He came back to life!!!"

Liuchuan: I didn't mean to...

Liuchuan was getting ready to go home when he ran into Ming Qi, a Taoist priest coming down the mountain. The young priest drew his peachwood sword and jabbed at Liuchuan, who yelped and ran around wildly.

Liuchuan: q.q

The peachwood sword poked him in the butt. Furious, Liuchuan opened his mouth to bite the young priest, but a carrot got stuck between his teeth.

Liuchuan: OoO

The young priest was dumbfounded. Where were his talismans?

Liuchuan blinked, then took a crunchy bite.

Mm... Sweet. Tasty...

He took another crunchy bite.

Ming Qi: Is it normal for zombies to eat carrots?

Liuchuan whined: I didn't mean to.

Who could blame him? It was the first time he'd tasted food in a hundred years!

Ming Qi couldn't afford to feed a zombie who ate, so he planned to seal Liuchuan back inside his coffin. But his plan was exposed, and Liuchuan angrily pounced on him, opening his mouth to bite.

The young priest panicked and grabbed the zombie by the throat, but that didn't stop him. His mouth was kissed and bitten in turn.

His virtue was gone. He had to take responsibility...

When Liuchuan came to, he looked at the person beneath his mouth, stunned.

He kissed him? ...He kissed him!

He was going to have a baby?!!!!

Liuchuan clutched his belly, tears in his eyes, looking thoroughly wronged.

He wanted to get married.

He wanted to marry this Taoist priest.

Liuchuan, looking pitiful: I didn't mean to.

But there's a baby in my belly now.

Liuchuan: "Let's get married."

Ming Qi: "All right."

One morning, years later.

Liuchuan pushed Ming Qi away, his words coming out in broken fragments because of what the other man was doing. "...I-I can't get pregnant..."

Ming Qi hummed in acknowledgment, but showed no sign of stopping.

"I'll give you everything. You'll get pregnant."

Liuchuan's tears and sweat blurred together. He couldn't see the person on top of him, and instinctively covered his belly.

So sore... So full... Where would the baby live?

Content warnings:

1. Neither of them knows anything about everyday life.

2. They're both incredibly old-fashioned. The recipient thinks kissing leads to pregnancy, while the initiator thinks a kiss means they have to get married.

3. Both are each other's first and only, no cheating, just the two of them being ridiculous together.

Message: Life is full of unexpected encounters.