Absurd

[Not-really brothers + not-really father and son + not-really uncle and nephew, but 1v1. When the once-spoiled, universally loathed young master falls from grace, a pack of wolves and tigers pounce on him]

As the young master of the Kong family in Beicheng, Kong Mizhen has a father as powerful as the heavens and an elder brother who commands more than a hundred cargo ships, with canal routes spanning the waterways of six provinces. He lives however he pleases: dancing, partying, listening to opera, teasing classmates and provoking teachers at school, doing nothing useful all day and happily being a layabout.

Once, after he pushed a teacher too far, the teacher scolded him: “You’re nothing but someone who was born lucky.”

Kong Mizhen grinned. “That’s a tremendous talent in its own right.”

As it turns out, showing off too much really does invite payback.

The day after his eighteenth birthday banquet, Kong Mizhen crawls out of a heap of sprawled bodies, reeking of booze and with his clothes in disarray. When the young master returns home, he sees someone his age standing beside his elder brother, wearing an ordinary student uniform, with a clean, bare face as he pours tea for him.

Leaning against the doorframe just outside the threshold, Kong Mizhen calls out with a smirk, “Big Brother, have you been eating so plainly lately?”

Kong Lianhe sets down his teacup and turns around. His usually unreadable eyes remain calm and unruffled.

“Mizhen,”

he says.

“Yuheng is my real younger brother. Eighteen years ago, a nurse at Maria Hospital mixed you up. Your surname is Xie.”

Falling from the clouds into the dirt is probably exactly like this.

Overnight, the gold and jade, the fine clothes and lavish meals all become things of the past. Those he bullied and teased now settle their scores, and even the spoiled brats who once smiled and bowed to him change their tune. One after another, they try to trap him under the pretense of “helping” him, making him their property.

Even the dog whose fur he used to pull is itching to come bite him.

*

Mizhen knows he’s a useless lump of mud who can’t do anything right, but he also knows he has an exceptionally beautiful face.

As long as he has his looks, he has a chance. That’s the only reason he hasn’t completely died yet.

One day, with traffic rushing by, he sits by the moat, starving and lost in thought, wondering whether to jump in and end it all.

Then he catches sight of a gleaming, well-maintained sedan passing by. Heaven takes pity on him: the street vendors crowding the road force it to slow down for a moment.

Without a second thought, Mizhen runs over and taps on the window.

The window slowly rolls down. The older man sitting upright inside turns to look at him. His sharp, imposing features bear not the slightest resemblance to the destitute, tearful child outside.

“Dad.”

Mizhen clings to the car window and calls out pitifully.

He’s begging the man he called his father for more than ten years to take pity on him and save him.

*

From a pathetic little good-for-nothing to someone whose name makes even Japanese invaders and traitors shut their windows in fear.

① All the CPs are “on the page” in the blurb. The ending is 1v1. See the character list.

② Any cats, dogs, and gongs who have crossed paths with the main character will not get their own pairings. They’ll all grow old alone.

③ A semi-alternate version of the modern era. No political, historical, or geographical references, and no real-life inspirations.

④ None of the couples are blood-related, and they aren’t on the same household registration either (?).

⑤ This novel is for level-ten dog-blood drama lovers. It’s not for fans of any extreme pairing preferences, so please don’t read if that’s you. The author won’t argue, but will delete comments.

Theme: Liars swallow a thousand needles